Remember Everything
by DIVIDED-LEGION
Summary: Agent Tegan Hollis has a weakness: Steve Rogers. In a world where war has broken out once more, this is a dangerous liability. While hiding her past and feelings for Captain America, Tegan must also focus on helping bring down neo-Nazi group HADES in hopes of ending the war. M for language and potential gore. WIP
1. Dear mother, I love you

CHAPTER ONE

_Dear mother, I love you_

Insomnia; it plagued her every night. She continually fought for control over her inability to sleep easy, but her brain simply refused to turn off. Too many thoughts rushed through her mind, too many missions played over and over again. Too many words, too many songs, too many emotions; it was a never ending cacophony of internalized torture that Tegan couldn't pull herself out of. Like the rest of the working class in America struggling to crawl from the blackened, soulless grips of insomnia, Tegan had a job to do. So when the morning came and regardless of however much she wanted to shoot a hole through her alarm clock and struggle with maintaining sleep until she got at least one good night's rest, she just had to throw the covers back and soldier on.

The only thing that made Tegan different from the rest of the middle-classed, unfortunate every-day American was that she knew how to kill a man in twelve different, discrete ways with just her hands.

So once again, she jolted from uneasy, hard earned dreams at the sound of the screeching of her clock that filled her small room. For a moment she laid in bed staring up at the dull grey ceiling above her, wondering if it was the impact of her falling off a building and hitting the ground that woke her up, or if it had been her subconscious waiting for the call of the morning to rouse her from her restless slumber. With her clock on the other side of the room, she curled up in a ball underneath her covers for a moment and drew a pillow over her head. All she wanted was one more hour of sleep, just one more chance to fall back into that same dream and make things turn out differently. But she knew she wouldn't get that. She had a job to do, and no matter how hard she tried to change the outcome of her dream, it was always the same. Finally gathering up the will to get up, she threw back the covers and finally walked to the other side of the room to ruefully punch the 'off' button on her alarm. Squinted, hazel eyes glared at the bright red LED numbers that indifferently told her with odd mechanical enthusiasm that it was five am.

Pulling on her one-piece, form fitting suit and snapping her weapons belt around her waist, she jumped at the sound of a fist against her metal door. Tiptoeing to the only thing that could ever stand between her and facing her day, she cracked the door open and peered out into the brightly lit hallway. She was met with the heavily lined face of one of the many employees that called the Helicarrier home. Straightening up and throwing the door open she greeted the man as he cleared his throat and asked,

"Are you Agent Hollis?"

Looking over her shoulder as if to see if there was anyone else in the room she cocked her head to the side and bluntly replied, "I'm the only person in this room, aren't I?"

Used to her tart replies, the man deepened his frown and replied, "yes. But whether or not you are alone in your room is beside the point, Tegan. You are needed in the meeting room."

It was rare for her to already get a call to duty so early. Usually she had time to at least pee before someone was knocking at her door demanding her presence. Thanking the man for doing his low-ranking job, she missed out on the distasteful look he shot her as she turned her back to him. Her margin of time to prepare for her day was cut tragically short. In a flurry to get out, she slipped her shoes on and didn't even bother to turn the lights off as she left her room.

For as odd as the early morning mission call was, she figured it was something she should have been used to by now, given the circumstances. Still, four years of a third world war raging in Europe and she had not yet gotten into the mode of expecting such premature missions. Tegan always thought that it was funny how the world had fallen into a happy complacent mood after Loki's invasion had been stopped. It was like the earth had sucked in a breath of anticipation and finally cut it loose and the whole human race breathed a collective sigh of relief. To Tegan, there was nothing easy about the world that was left in the wake of the eye-opening realization that aliens were as real a threat as terrorists and shoe bombs. For three months after the attack, everyone was nice to everyone. The homeless were sheltered, governments flourished and everyone was happy. That is until the rise of the Human Alternative Direction and Eradication Series and the Central Forces shocked the unworried population back into reality and forced them to accept that evil still existed on the planet. HADES was a division not unlike the Nazi party back in World War II, they believed in a superior race or man and were hell bent on gaining power through unmatched weapons technology. The Central Forces were simply allies consisting of the formidable powers of Russia, China, and North Korea. No one could really remember how Erik Sunderland and his crazy ideals had gained him enough power in Germany to topple the government, but within a matter of weeks after the unveiling of the newest threat, HADES had power over the German people and war descended onto the world like a flock of starved vultures on a carcass.

As usual, the faces of everyone on the Helicarrier were downcast and grave. The numbers of soldiers fighting against the threat were dropping. It seemed that for every step forward the United Forces took, they were forced to take another two back; and that was enough to put anyone in a downcast mood. Nobody liked to be on the losing team. Tegan, however, was perhaps one of the fewer rays of sunshine (if that was what she could be called). She was no soldier but she too pleasure in the tension of war, she was not the type of person to be put out so easily. As she made her way from her room to the conference room, she passed many familiar faces. Like any other day, they were all busy and focusing on their tasks. The only people that seemed to be sitting around twiddling their thumbs like a group of uselessness were the Avengers –as they'd so affectionately been named by the public. She'd passed a couple of them on her way to the conference room and each time she eyed them with a look of pity. They had become a sad bunch of overrated figureheads since the start of the war and nothing more. The front lines were not where they were; instead they were forced to sit tight, cooped up in the close quarters of the Helicarrier for a 'real mission'. Tegan had been given plenty of missions since the start of the war, so she knew little of what it was like to be forced to laze around and do absolutely nothing while the rest of the world laid down their lives to keep the price of freedom at an affordable cost.

Finally, she pushed open the door to the meeting room and was greeted with the grave, dark-skinned face of Director Fury. He stood quietly at the head of the elongated table flanked by plush leather chairs. The screens behind him, for the time being, were blank; but Tegan knew better than to assume that the Council would not be dropping in on the two at some point in the near future. Sliding in quietly she looked at the circular clock on the wall and smiled inwardly to herself: right on time, as usual. Fury motioned at her to take a seat. She stood still for a moment, debating if this was a test or not before picking a seat close to the middle of the glass and mahogany table. The silence between the two thickened and the inner desire to know what the hell was going on reared its ugly head quickly as seconds later, Tegan coldly blurted out,

"I really hope you didn't call me here just to have a staring contest."

Used to her impatience and tart attitude, Fury waved off her obviously rude remark to walk over to where she was and slapped down a newspaper in front of her and sternly told her, "If I wanted to waste your time, I could."

Reaching up to pull the paper close to her, she looked down at the bolded headline claiming of uncovered rumors regarding future HADES plans. Completely ignoring the warning Fury had just given her, she screwed her face up into a look of confusion and asked, "How did the press get information that we don't even know yet?"

At that very moment, the monitors that had been off flickered on and the shadowed figures of the Council appeared. Both agent and Director turned sharply to view the screens as the man in the middle said, "Director Fury, we apologize for the delay –but you know that security must be tight and therefore our preparations take longer."

Tegan let her gaze slide away from the televisions and up to Fury's scarred face. His lips were drawn into a tight line and his one eye was narrowed. There was nothing, Tegan knew, Fury disliked more than tardiness. Unfortunately, the four people before them were his superiors and the choice of scolding them for their inability to do things on time was lost. Quickly averting her stare before he could feel her looking at him, she waited as the four shadowed figured situated themselves. Finally, they were addressed once more,

"Who is this young woman, Fury?"

Forcing himself to not roll an irritated eye at them, Fury introduced the black haired agent, "this is agent Tegan Hollis. I've called her in to take part in the mission."

Tegan straightened up in her chair as she felt all eyes on her and listened as quietly and patiently as she could as the situation was finally explained to her,

"Agent Hollis: as you might know, two days ago the confiscated armories on the Helicarrier and in other ground S.H.I.E.L.D bases were raided. At first we were not certain of what was taken, but after carefully combing through the inventory it was learned that long-forgotten HYDRA weapons were stolen. For the last two days, it has been unclear as to why they were taken. As far as we were aware, the weapons themselves were not of any use as they had powered down after the attack on the HYDRA headquarters was carried out back in the last world war. However, according to the paper in front of you, it seems that we were wrong. The information in that article," at the mention of the paper, Tegan leaned over to read through the article quickly, almost drowning out what was being said to her as the man in the middle continued on, "has birthed a rumor about HADES and what it plans to do with the weapons that were taken. It claims that they have found a way with the remaining Tesseract energy signature left in the stolen weapons to call back the Tesseract to earth. While we cannot be certain about what they plan to do with the Tesseract once it is within their possession, we can only assume that they will continue to create a new type of weapons that our forces cannot hope of combating. That is where you come in."

Finally, Tegan looked away from the paper and back up at the four shadowed people on the monitors and dismissively replied,

"If you're all so damn knowledgeable about the situation at hand, why am I here? Because it honestly sounds like you all have everything figured out."

Fury stepped closer to her and hissed, "_Rumors_, agent Hollis. We don't know anything for certain. _That's_ why you're here."

Tegan looked up at Fury to find him glaring at her in the disapproving manner he always seemed to do whenever she opened her mouth to talk. For a moment, she considered arguing back, but settled down into her chair again and looked to the screens once more as the man in the middle cleared his throat and said,

"We have to go now, but Director Fury will finish explaining your mission."

Before either of them could say another word, the monitors grew dark and quiet, and once more it was just the two of them in the room. Eyeing the dark screens with amused interest, Tegan shattered the tense silence in the room with a bitter observation, "they never say goodbye, do they?"

Fury rolled his eye at her and stalked away from her to stand back at the head of the table. Leaning onto the smooth surface to gaze at him better, Tegan asked, "so what's my job going to be?"

Rubbing his face, Fury said, "Your _job_, Hollis, is to shut the hell up when the Council is talking."

Rolling her eyes right back at him she humorously replied, "I think they liked me well enough."

Gritting his teeth, Tegan's comment earned her a sharp reply, "they don't need to like you. They need you to be an agent. One that doesn't have to comment on everything, one that knows when to keep her fat mouth shut. As your Director-"

Proving to be the ever difficult to deal with agent that she was, Tegan leaned back into her chair and casually replied, "please don't pull the 'as your boss' shit on me."

Pounding his fist against the table, clearly angered with her already (Tegan admired for a moment how quickly she'd gotten him to rise up), "I will pull whatever shit I want with you! Now shut up and let me fill you in on what I was going to ask you to do. If you can't manage that much self control, I can always ask someone else."

Furrowing her brow at the angry one-eyed man, she considered fighting back, but weighed her options and figured that getting out on a mission would be much better than sitting around the Helicarrier going through her same daily routine. So, rather than replying back with an equally raised voice, she visibly deflated and leaned farther into the back of her chair, as if trying to sink into it and waved a dismissive hand, "OK, fine. I'll shut up."

Narrowing his eye at her, Fury lifted his chin and coldly said, "your attitude is going to be your downfall."

Tegan, determined not to say anything now, only gave him a look that rivaled the frost in his voice. For a moment, the two simply stared at each other before Fury finally spoke, "your mission, should I decide that you're going to behave long enough to listen to orders and not do things your own way, would be to infiltrate the base we've located outside of Moscow. There, you would do whatever you could to determine what HADES is doing with those stolen weapons. Regardless of what you find, your only job would be to confirm or dispel the rumors. Should you act beyond that and get yourself into trouble, I will not send anyone to retrieve you and fix your mess. Should you get captured, I will not send anyone to save you, as your presence would just be a liability and I'd rather not lose two agents. Do you think you can do things the way I'm asking you to do for once?"

Tegan swiveled the seat of her chair back and forth, lost in thought. She leaned her cheek against her open palm and thought about all the ways this could go wrong. While she'd been in training as a spy almost all of her life at S.H.I.E.L.D and had been given some of the best training they could offer, Fury was very right about her infuriating habit of doing things how she wanted to do them as opposed to how she was supposed to do them. For the most part, her vigilante actions usually came out alright, but she could clearly remember several times how this had backfired and she'd gotten into major trouble. The few times she did make a cog in the machine she was lucky enough to have extra agents by her side to help her get out of her mess. It would be a first for Tegan to know in the back of her mind that there would be no rescue from her mistakes if she made one now. So lost in her weighing of the pros and cons, she forgot that she had someone else in the room with her until Fury offered her a sharp,

"Do you accept?"

Shaken from her thoughts, Tegan straightened up and narrowed her eyes at the man, "so let me get this straight: you want me to go to Moscow and find my own way to get into the compound that you're claiming is the headquarters to HADES. Once there, I'm supposed to make it past security and God knows what else while traipsing around a building I have no knowledge of to find out if these half-assed rumors possibly created by the papers to generate circulation and reader curiosity are real or not. And let's not forget that if I get into shit I can't fix, or if I get captured, you're not going to send someone in to get me out of there; thus leaving me to my own fate, which you and I both know will not be a quick death."

Fury raised a curious eyebrow and asked, "is this too much for you, agent Hollis?"

Letting out a short, dry laugh Tegan shook her head, "no. It actually sounds like my cup of tea. I mean, fuck, there's nothing else to do here. You're determined to keep everyone that you might need at a moment's notice locked up like a caged lion. Not to mention there's literally nothing on T.V. aside from the constant war news, which I'm getting really sick of listening to. I could definitely use a vacation from this place."

Fury narrowed his eye at her and pointed out, "this is not a vacation, Tegan."

Smiling warmly at the Director and standing up, she grabbed the paper from the table and said, "it'd be a vacation for me. Besides, it's December, right? I love winter. I hear Russia's beautiful this time of year."

"So I take it you are accepting? If so, I will give you the rest of the day to prepare, but I expect you to be in the hangar at four am tomorrow morning. If you're one minute late, I will grab the nearest spy and replace you. Understood?"

Tegan only nodded –did she really need to say anything else? Making her way to the door, she was almost out before Fury's next words stopped her: "your mother and grandmother would be so very proud of you."

Looking down at her feet for a moment Tegan just stood there quietly. Finally she looked back up and shot Fury a question, "sir?"

"Yes, Tegan?"

"Sentiment is not a very fitting hat for you, Director Fury."

Before he could say anything else, she disappeared from the room, leaving a small smile on his face in her wake.

**Author's Notes: **So. Seven days with no internet (and two more to go) has led to unending planning of a new fanfiction that my friend wanted me to write. I'd be lying if I said when I started this, that I liked Steve as a character. He was legitimately my least favorite character. Why? I don't know. I really don't. But after careful consideration of his character and countless viewings of Captain America, he's grown on me like a fungus. It's been a reluctant love...but here I am writing a fanfiction that revolves around him sort of. Yes, Tegan is a very, _very_ sassy mother fucker. She comes around eventually...I think...maybe? And I know that the first...six chapters will mainly focus on Tegan, but I've never actually made an OC before, so I want adequate time to establish her. They'll at least be exciting? I think? Idk, please bear with me as I write a story about characters (Steve and Tegan) I know little about. Though, I'm super excited to get this written. It'll be fun. AND I PROMISE NO ONE THAT IS TRULY IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT DIES. I can't promise anything for those not important to the plot characters, though. Yes I'm in a 5FDP naming mood. DEAL WITH IT. Also, I'm just going to point out now that this entire story is dedicated to my good friend Mira. She loves her some Steve, and she's had a rough month. Hope you like it bbgirl~ Anyways, thanks for reading, and stick around a while c:

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	2. I'm sorry, I wasn't good enough

CHAPTER TWO

_I'm sorry, I wasn't good enough_

Her mind lit up like a child's eyes at Christmas time. Excitement spread through her limbs like a wildfire consuming a forest. Anticipation knotted her stomach; the effects of being forced to wait to embark on her next mission were always the same for Tegan. She had an entire twenty-four hours to prepare for an operation. Sure, she'd been on plenty excursions like this one before, but she'd always had someone else with her to pick up any potential slack should she leave any. This time, she was on her own. It was a daunting idea; one that both intimidated and thrilled her. The promotion of going from teamed missions to missions that she was allowed to make up her own decisions without consulting another agent first was what wound her up the most. While this was also the off-putting aspect of her approaching mission, Tegan was no team player when it came down to it. She was determined to do everything on her own in her own way, regardless of what risks she was going to have to take to do it. Most of the time her ideas went denied when she was in a group. Not because they were bad ones, but because they were so outlandish and risky that no one wanted to try them except for her. Her confidence far outmatched her actual ability and whenever she did something that went right, her ego only received an extra boost.

Looking down at the watch on her wrist, Tegan realized that it was only six in the morning and that she was just in time for breakfast. Though the idea of food made her stomach turn uneasily, she knew that she should at least eat something. After all, if she was going to die tomorrow, she wanted to do it knowing that she had three square meals the day before. As usual, the crowd in the food hall was sparse, as everyone trickled in and out on their own time. But there was one group of people that Tegan could always count on being together at six am for breakfast: the Avengers. When they weren't out giving forced hopeful speeches to the demoralized public or off on missions assigned specifically to them to give them a real part in the war, they were sticking to a tight schedule of training, eating, planning, and sleeping. While Tegan was no friend of most everyone in the elite S.H.I.E.L.D group, the only reason she ever bothered to look for them was the red-headed woman sitting on the edge of the group.

Natasha Romanoff, though not the most friendly face in the organization, was one of the few people that Tegan would ever willingly enter into a conversation with. Mostly out of friendship, but out of respect for the spy as well. In fact, Tegan had most of her knowledge to thank Natasha for. While they were close in age, Natasha was still far more advanced than she was, and from time to time the infamous Black Widow had mentored the slightly younger agent. Tegan was not the type of woman to swoon, but she admired the fill figured agent almost more than she admired herself.

Averting her gaze from the sullen group, she made her way over to the dwindling line for food. Luck would have it that the man she stood behind in the line was her usual mission partner. Grabbing a clean tray and grabbing a bowl for cereal, she took a large step forward to step on the back of his heel. Reece McCoy wheeled around quickly with a snarl across his young face that quickly dissipated as his blue eyes met her hazel ones. A sly grin spread her lips apart and bared her teeth in an almost animalistic way as she growled at him,

"Move faster, shit head; or I'll step on you again."

Glowering at his partner, Reece reached behind her to grab silverware and pointed the fork and knife in his hands at her, "next time you step on me, I'll stab you."

Scrunching her face up into an almost offended expression, she shoved him forward and let a playfully sarcastic tone lace through her usually flat words, "oh stop it, Reece. Keep talking to me like that and everyone will think that we're sleeping together. Besides, I don't think you're quick enough to stab me."

Reece had joined S.H.I.E.L.D four years after Tegan had joined. Like any new person that she met, Tegan hated him right away. It was only through forced missions and training sessions that she softened her calloused attitude towards him to the only slightly prickly attitude she now used around him. Reece had been a generally soft natured boy when he had joined, and the constant taunts he'd been forced to endure from Tegan had only hardened him into a slightly bitter young man still desperately clinging to his boyhood. At her words, he glared at her. It was not uncommon for her to take jabs at him and his occasionally obvious feelings towards her. For years he had tried to get on a good enough side to earn romantic affection from the woman, but his hard work only earned him heartache. Finally, he moved forward with his tray carefully clutched between his hands and looked over his shoulder to snarl that took the young woman a moment to decide whether he was kidding or not, "come, now Tegan. Everyone knows that fucking you is probably the equivalent of sticking their dick in a meat grinder. You're too tense and angry for anything tender like _love making_."

Gritting her teeth and deciding that today he meant his mean taunts, the empty cup she clutched in her hands flew towards him and hit him on the shoulder. His grimacing away from the flying object caused the food on his plate to slide off and fall to the ground. For a moment, she stood there in line smirking with agents and generic employees behind her peering around to investigate the source of the crash. However, her gloating was cut short as the sharp voice of the director of the spy unit sounded behind her,

"_Agent Hollis._ I did not take my job assuming that I would have to be a nanny to wayward spies. So _please_, for once, stop acting like a child. Help Agent McCoy clean up his mess or I'll take you off your mission tomorrow on grounds of not being mature enough."

Craning her head over her shoulders to get a look at the lanky, blond haired man that had been appointed to the head of the spy division three years ago, Tegan only eyed Agent Warren with a loathing gaze before sighing and putting her food back. Grabbing a towel from over the counter she did her best to avoid stomping like a scolded five year old over to where Reece bent over his overturned food and tray. Crouching down beside him, she began to pull in scattered food. Her frown twisted into a tortured sneer of annoyance when Reece's voice whispered in her ear, "new mission, huh? Why didn't I get told?"

Stopping mid-wipe, she looked up at him and flatly replied, "because they like me more than you."

Her cold voice was enough to keep her partner quiet for the remainder of their cleaning. As she stood and let Reece collect his now useless tray and plates she retrieved her own food and stood at the end of the line, waiting for him to get more food. The pair walked rather closely over to the long tables and he, keeping his voice low, asked, "but seriously, what's this new mission?"

Smirking up at him she proudly informed him, "I've finally been given my own mission. I guess I don't have to offer to suck anyone's dick now for one."

Laughing at her bribe, but not completely putting it past the strange woman to offer blow jobs in exchange for a mission of her own he asked, "let me guess, Fury finally caved and shook your hand?"

Frowning at her partner Tegan pursed her lips in an expression of a pout, "_no_. Fury won't let me within touching distance. With good reason too; but we know why."

She smiled slightly at the thought of her persuasive abilities before letting the expression slide off her face at Reece's laughter. Reece shook his head and chuckled lightly at her words, "so then someone just got crazy enough to decide that you were the spy for the job, eh? But seriously, what've they got planned for you?"

Shrugging and rolling her head slightly she lowered her voice further she asked, "did you read yesterday's papers?"

"Tegan, I don't have time to read, you know that."

"Please stop using that excuse to cover up the fact that you _can't_ read."

"I can read! T, c'mon. What's your mission?"

"Well some fucker decided that it'd be a good idea to leak rumors about those armory break ins to a crazy theory. They said that with those weapons, HADES was going to build some big machine, make wild science shit happen and attract the Tesseract back to earth. Sounds insane, right? Well, apparently the Council and Fury think that there's a bit of truth to all of this. So, you can probably figure out where this is going but they've got me going to Moscow tomorrow to infiltrate the main base and find out if this is true or not."

Reece, half way through her story, had stopped walking and was gawking at her with a half-opened mouth of surprise. As she finished her explanation, he shook his head and mockingly chortled, "I'll bet you a hundred bucks you don't make it out."

Narrowing her eyes at him and his doubt she hissed, "make it two hundred and I'll get out and bring you Erik's dick to prove I was there. Maybe I'll even make you suck it."

Snorting at her Reece dismissed her bet, "while that's a tempting, albeit disgusting, offer, I somehow don't think that the leader of HADES would let you put your hands down his pants and I still don't think you'll get very far. You're not exactly good at making your own decisions."

Clenching her teeth and setting her jaw in a determined line she barked at him, "you'll take the bet and you know what, Reece? Fuck you. A vote of confidence was all I was looking for. Just because I won't let you touch my boobs doesn't mean you have to be such a condescending ass hole all the time."

"You not letting me touch your tits is hardly the reason why I'm a condescending ass hole. Besides, I was kind of just pointing out that you have flaws and you'll only be better if you acknowledge them for once. It's not like I actually want you to get captured." Reece looked at her with a gaze that Tegan could have almost sworn had wavering affection and kindness.

Rolling her eyes at his words, she waved a flippant hand at him and began to walk away. Turning back around she said, "so two hundred dollars, right? And you're really going to feel really shitty if I die."

As she retreated, he called out to her, "Stop trying to make me feel bad, because I don't. I know you can't die!"

The only response he got was her shooting her middle finger straight up in the air at him. Already letting her irritation for her younger partner roll off her back, she made her way over to where remaining Avengers sat. Sliding down beside Natasha she leaned over and said, "I'm shocked you're still here."

Tegan's gaze snapped up from the red head as a man with black hair and flamboyant goatee (wearing sunglasses indoors) drawled, "hey, this is the big kid's table. Children that throw cups in the food line have to go sit on their own."

Furrowing her brow at a man she would rather run a knife through than talk to, Tegan snarled at Tony, "hey, how about you shut the hell up? I don't think I was talking to you anyway, Tony."

Having leaned over Natasha in the process to talk to Tony, Natasha shoved Tegan back upright and, with a half-smile on her face, said, "if you keep coming and disrupting the peace at my otherwise peaceful breakfasts, Tegan, I'm going to have to make you find another place to sit."

Playfully pouting at her friend Tegan shoveled a spoon full of cereal into her mouth before saying, "oh please, you like me more than these people anyway."

She looked around the group as if to make a point, and while her eyes did not linger on everyone there for very long, she didn't even bother to look at Steve at all. He sat diagonally from her and while having earned a reputation for being mild-mannered and polite, there was something about the black haired young woman that set his teeth on edge. At first, he reminded her of an old friend, but as the encounters with the vulgar, hard-headed agent increased he quickly devolved from friendly curiosity to annoyed indifference. It had seemed that no matter what he said or did to her, she was determined to hate him for no reason other than the fact that he existed. Natasha's mock frown turned into a friendly smile as her lips curled upwards at Tegan's words. Leaning close to the agent she said,

"So I hear you got a new job to do."

Looking up at her, Tegan smirked and said, "well, word travels quickly in this place, doesn't it?"

Realizing they'd lost her attention, the majority of the Avengers that had simply been sitting around pleasantly conversing with one another scattered with Tegan's elongated presence. While someone would worry about the arguably most influential group of people in S.H.I.E.L.D not liking them, it was not Tegan's style to worry about such things. She only gave them distasteful looks at they slowly excused themselves from the table one by one. Eventually, after some catching up, Natasha dismissed herself as well. With no one else around her, Tegan found herself in the most continually tragic state of her life: alone. Shrugging off the feeling that threatened to crack through her tough exterior, she finished inhaling her breakfast and stalked back off to her room.

The rest of her day was spent pacing anxiously around her room and packing and unpacking her small backpack that would serve as her only outlet of devices once she was out in the field. Regardless of the pressures of her approaching job pressed down on her from all sides, her pre-mission ritual remained the same. Even if she wasn't going on her own, she still found herself packing her small bag over and over again. The hours dwindled down and trickled closer to the hour in which she would be leaving. For as cocky as she was, there was no denying that this task would be one of the more dangerous tasks she'd been given to do. The risks and rewards were higher. If she were to succeed, maybe she'd get promoted to a higher spy rank. Maybe she'd even get a raise, enough money to buy an apartment and not live like a caged lab rat on the Helicarrier. Now wasn't that a fabulous idea? Of course, for all of the good things that could come her way should she make it, the negative consequences just about outweighed the rewards. HADES was no organization of understanding and rainbows. Plenty of other agents had been lost in their vindictive clutches, horror stories of what happened to them were published in the news usually quickly after they disappeared: a clever tactic of Erik's to bring down the mood United Forces and their public to a somber level with no hope for success.

Constantly, she found herself checking the clock, as if hoping with each and every glance it would realize that she needed it to go faster. Unfortunately, for as much as she wanted time to fly by, it only crawled. While she'd managed to force breakfast and lunch down, by the time dinner rolled around, she did not feel like eating at all. While everyone made their way to the eating hall, she snuck through the metal corridors and up deserted stairwells to the many training rooms. The pent up energy crackled through her veins like lighting in a storm cloud and she felt like she would explode if she didn't get an outlet to release it all. Punching in the unlock code for the shooting range, she found herself startled to find Natasha sitting in the middle of the room, as if she had been waiting for Tegan.

Teacher and student stared each other down as Tegan stepped in and quietly closed the door behind her. Shooting Natasha a curious look she turned away to begin pulling out equipment to ask,

"So is it some sort of teaching technique to stalk your students? Shouldn't you be eating dinner?"

Natasha's small, amused laugh echoed in the empty metal room as she stood up and walked over to where Tegan was pulling on a bullet proof vest and said,

"I'm not here as your teacher, Tegan. I'm here as a friend."

Stopping what she was doing, Tegan turned to stare at the red head with a smirk, "oh, really? I might need to get you to say that again. I didn't think you liked me like that."

Playfully batting the slightly taller woman on the shoulder, Natasha reached out to pull her own vest on and said, "now would I be a very good spy if I ran around blatantly making it known who I do and don't like?"

Pursing her lips at Natasha, she shook her head, "perhaps I should remember that," and turned to grab a gun. Grabbing her and turning her back around, Natasha said,

"You know this was supposed to be my mission."

Narrowing her eyes at the woman, Tegan shifted her stance and folded her arms across her chest, "so are you going to shoot me and claim back what was rightfully yours?"

"No, I'm pointing out that I _gave_ this to you."

"Well, technically Fury gave it to me."

"Can you just not be difficult for once and realize that I'm trying to help you get a better rank here?"

"If you wanted a thank you, all you had to do was ask!"

Natasha rolled her eyes and sighed in an annoyed manner, "I swear, you have got to be the most stubborn, immature piece of work on this entire ship!"

Suppressing a smile, Tegan asked, "even worse than Tony? If I've surpassed him then I've officially reached a personal goal of being more annoying than him."

Shaking her head, Natasha replied, "_no._ I don't think there's a single person on this planet that could make me lose my temper as quickly as he could. I swear, he just gets talking and he's like a chattering monkey. The man won't shut up!"

Tegan smiled at her friend, the tension finally passing, "maybe you should keep me around at all times then, he seems to get pretty quiet when I'm around."

"That's a nice theory, Tegan, but you happen to worry Steve and Bruce. So I think dragging you around as my personal 'get Stark to shut up' assistant wouldn't work very well. I like Steve and Bruce to not be sulking whenever we're trying to do something."

Punching in a work code and watching as the room sprang to life, offering up targets, Tegan shouted over the gunfire as she aimed at the targets, "you know, you have some really moody people in your work group. How the hell do you stand it? I think I'd lose my mind if I was forced to be around Dr. Doom and Gloom, Shakespeare, Uncle Sam, Birdbrain, and Chatter Box as much as you are."

Following in behind Tegan and taking aim at the targets as well, Natasha thought for a bit on her friend's words (inwardly smiling at the mocking pet names) before finishing her round of ammo on the targets and stepping back to look at the woman to say, "they're really not all that bad, T. You just kind of put them all on edge."

Lowering her own gun, Tegan smiled at Natasha and proudly said, "then I'll take their grumbles as a compliment. It's gotta be difficult to fray the nerves of an entire group of highly specialized fighters. You also probably shouldn't be telling me these things, this is the kind of knowledge that only makes me want to be around them more often…which I doubt they'd appreciate."

Laughing lightly at her words, Natasha turned to put her gun up and peel her vest off. Looking down at her watch, she was surprised to find that two hours had passed by and it was almost eleven o'clock. Turning to look back at Tegan, who rested casually against the wall of the shooting booth she said, "but seriously, Tegan. I deflected this mission to you because I know that you're ready but without the right push it'd probably be years before everyone else realized this too."

Sighing, Tegan stepped forward to wrap her arms reluctantly around Natasha and almost bitterly said, "you know how much I hate it when other people help me, but I guess I have to thank you for doing that."

Breaking the embrace, Tegan walked over and ripped her vest off and put her gun back before turning back around as Natasha said,

"You are so much more now than you were when you first came to me as a pet project to teach."

Unsure of whether or not to smile at this, Tegan only shook her head and dryly laughed, "you know, when I was given to you as a 'pet project', I really hated your guts."

Natasha couldn't help but laugh at this and sat down on one of the benches, patting the spot beside her before bluntly pointing out, "Tegan, you hate _everyone_."

Scoffing at this, Tegan obeyed and sat beside her, "not true! I like you now."

"Only because I can put you in a headlock in under thirty seconds."

Springing up and crouching down into a ready stance, Tegan shook her head, "maybe like five years ago. You haven't even tried since then. C'mon, give it a whirl."

Natasha did not need much encouragement and responded to Tegan's dare with enthusiasm. The two danced around the small space, dodging each other's attacks and moving just out of reach to avoid being pinned down. Finally, Tegan noticed an opening in Natasha's defenses and lunged at her. Wrapping her arm around her throat, she pulled the agent to her with a smile on her face and said,

"I really hope you didn't let me win to give me false confidence."

In reply to her words, Natasha snaked a leg around one of Tegan's and jerked forward sharply. Unbalanced and caught off guard, Natasha whirled around in her grasp and pushed her to the ground. With one hand on her throat, a knee on her stomach, and another hand gripping her shoulder, Natasha smirked down at the younger spy and said, "I didn't."

After the two just stared at each other for a moment, Natasha finally let up and offered a hand to help Tegan up. Swatting the helpful gesture away, Tegan rolled over and stood up. Neither of them had broken a sweat and their breathing remained light. Suppressing a smile, Tegan strolled back over to the bench they'd been sitting on only moments before and stretched out on it,

"You'd miss me."

Not entirely understanding the meaning of her words, Natasha screwed her face up into a confused expression and sat down on Tegan's outstretched legs and asked, "Miss you?"

Lifting her head up slightly to look at the concerned red head she nodded, "yeah; miss me. If I died on this mission. You do a lot of complaining about me from time to time, but I know you'd miss me."

Swatting her on the top of her thigh –hard enough for it to sting and to make Tegan jump- Natasha scolded her, "you'll die when I strangle you for your doubt."

Sticking her tongue out at Natasha, Tegan pulled her legs out from under her and sat up. Her voice was harsh and sarcastic, "oh, you just send tingles of excitement down my spine when you talk about being rough. Plus, do you _really_ think I doubt myself? It's just fun to see everyone's face when I talk about death. They treat it so seriously. It's not like I can actually _die_."

Natasha eyed Tegan curiously before snorting at her, "you shouldn't put so much faith into your powers."

Pursing her lips Tegan chuckled, "what was that about self-doubt?"

"Oh, you know what I mean," Natasha looked back down at her watch and stood up, "hey, it's almost midnight. Shouldn't you be getting some rest?"

Looking down at her own watch as if to confirm whether or not Natasha was just trying to get her out of her hair, Tegan sighed and stood as well, "well, maybe if the insomnia wasn't such a bitch I could sleep. But yeah, I guess if you're eager to get rid of me so you can go fool around with Clint or something, I suppose I can go now."

"We do not-"

"You do too."

"Tegan!"

Dropping the subject, Tegan smirked knowingly and stepped forward to stick out a hand in a friendly motion towards Natasha, who grabbed it and pulled the young woman into another hug. For a moment, Tegan accepted the sentimental gesture before squirming out of her grasp and sighed heavily,

"What is it with everyone and their feelings today? First it was Fury being odd and maudlin, and now you. Does the idea of my promotion get everyone all weepy? Because we all know I'll tear this joint apart quicker than the Hulk if someone cries a single tear of happiness for me."

Smiling and shaking her head at Tegan, she batted her lightly on the shoulder along with a shove towards the door as she playfully hissed, "get out of here, Hollis."

Saluting her Tegan finally turned to leave, but as she stuck a foot out the door, she shot one last look back at her friend and couldn't help but wonder if this was the last time she'd see her.

For all her overconfidence, the doubt could still win.

**Author's Notes: **Well, you all know that I am a quick updater, so **Jen Lennon**, there shouldn't be a problem with these chapters coming quickly ;D thanks for reviewing, by the way! I have two other chapters after this one written up, but I'm going to make you guys wait until tomorrow to put them up. TORTUURREE. And seriously, the more I write this, the more I'm falling in love with this story; which I'm not gonna lie, I was kind of wary of. But holy shit I really love Tegan. She's just growing on me. And I promise we'll get some Steve action here soon! As always, thanks for reading, viewing, adding to your favorites and alerts. It means a lot, guys :'D

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	3. Dear Father, forgive me

CHAPTER THREE

_Dear Father, forgive me_

The attempt at sleep, once more, proved to be a fruitless endeavor. If her insomnia was already bad on nights where she wasn't feeling like she was hooked up to an electrical devise sending pulses of energy through her muscles, then it only made itself worse now. She laid impatiently in bed, curled up in a tangle of sheets and pillows, staring up at the dark ceiling with wide and expectant eyes. Occasionally she let her gaze slide over to the glaring red numbers on her clock on the other side of the room, though she should have known by now that staring at the clock would not make time pass by any quicker than it already was. Every time the clock refused to display an acceptable time, she sighed angrily and would roll over onto her side to glare at the wall. Once or twice, she would close her eyes and try to force sleep to come. While once or twice she finally drifted off into a restless slumber, only to be plagued with her usual nightmares. Fear would grip her throat and restrict her breathing as she plummeted from a cliff, building, plane, or whatever she had been standing on to meet the ground below. As always, the force and pain of hitting the ground would jolt her awake, as if the price of her death in her dreams was to wake up and find she was still alive.

Ragged breathing filled the room as she shook herself from her nightmares once more. Sitting up in bed and pressing her back against the uncomfortable metal headboard behind her, for once she found herself grateful for the feeling of something cool and real beneath her skin. Though she knew that she would not like what she saw, she allowed herself to look at the clock across from her bed; 3:17 am. Well, at least it wasn't still two in the morning. Sighing, she finally threw off her covers and flicked the lights on. Limbs still heavy from a restive slumber, she perched off the edge of her bed and gripped the sides to avoid falling over. Blinking once or twice in the harsh light, she finally stood up and willed herself to go through her packed bag once more. Her mind grew numb at the thousandth counting of inventory. She knew she had it all; she was as prepared as she'd ever be, and even though she claimed to have no fear and was nothing but solid confidence, nervousness tickled the bottom of her stomach like a cockroach crawling across her skin. It made her nauseous. For a moment, she almost wished that it wasn't happening today but she knew better than anyone that a delay in her departure would only drive her mad.

Her antics now were no different than her neurotic behavior before any other mission; or that's at least what she told herself to kid herself out of thinking that it was the imposing task of going it alone that bugged her. Finally, she zipped up her bag, pulled on her suit, clipped her weapons belt around her small waist, pulled her shoes on and put her hair up. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. A strong jaw, high-set cheek bones, slick black hair pulled back into a tight knot at the base of her neck that came together at the peak of her forehead in a prominent 'v', and fiery hazel eyes ringed in a purple hue (dark circles that would never go away): she was an odd picture of beauty. Tegan was not one to weigh a lot of success on her looks, but from time to time she indulged herself with studying how she looked, and she did it now as a motion to avoid stepping out that door. For as trained as she was, she still anticipated and put off the eventual departure from her room. Tegan knew full well that the second she stuck her foot out into the potentially deserted dorm hallway, she would not be able to turn back. It was merely an established, oddly calming routine for her to cherish the last few minutes within her homely sanctuary before forcing herself to grab her bag and leave.

Finally, she turned and hoisted her strangely light bag onto her shoulder and left, taking care to turn the lights off as she did. The fluorescent lights that lit the hallway glared down at her with unwavering indifference, as if they didn't know how her life could all change for the better or worse from this one mission. As silly as it was, it was not uncommon for her to let her frustration and pent up energy out on inanimate objects such as the lights above her head. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, she pushed forward and let her memory lead her down through the quiet halls and abandoned stairwells to the hangar where she knew Fury would be waiting. Impulsively checking her watch, she picked up her pace as the time drew closer and closer to four am. The last thing she wanted was to be tardy and lose her mission to someone else eager to take her place just because she, for once, could not get somewhere when she was told to be there.

Fate, however, smiled down upon her as she pushed through the hangar doors right at 3:55 in the morning. For the most part, the crowded with fighter jets and jet fuel barrels was empty, but as always the runway was clear. At the back of the hangar stood a wide-eyed, bushy tailed Nick Fury beside a small civilian looking jet. Letting her eyes trail across the white and black painted plane, she faltered in her step as she caught the 'Stark' emblem painted on the tail of the plane. Eyeing Fury as she drew closer she said, "I don't need a luxury plane to send me off to Moscow."

Tilting his chin up and looking down his nose at the woman he spoke in an orderly tone, "the plan to take you there in a standard S.H.I.E.L.D jet has changed. The Central Forces are not taking too kindly to opposing fighter jets in their airspace; which is not something uncommon for the type of war we are in. Mr. Stark has volunteered to allow us to use his plane. It has a cloaking device that will allow it to look like a private Russian jet, which should leave you and your pilot in the clear to get into Moscow without any problems."

Tegan looked around the dark area, expecting the annoying man that owned the plane to pop out from the shadows at any moment. However, realizing he was nowhere in sight she offered Fury a sly look and asked, "did Tony really give you the permission to use his plane?"

Fury offered her a look of slight amusement (if he could have such a look on his scarred face), "he'll give me permission when he wakes up and realizes it's gone."

Stifling a laugh and putting back on the most serious face she could offer without breaking out into a gleeful fit of giggles at the thought of Tony's face when he was given word that his precious plane was out. Straightening her stance she lifted her chin and asked, "so, sir, does this mean that I'm supposed to find my way to the compound from further within Moscow now that I'm being dropped off at a civilian airport?"

Shaking his head at her Fury replied, "no. This plane will not touch the ground unless it's shot down to it. You will be flown just to the edge of Moscow and slightly east of where we expect the HADES headquarters to be. There, you will be dropped off, and that is where your mission will begin."

Taking a moment to consider this, she finally shrugged and tilted her head to the side, "yeah, ok. That sounds like a blast. I've always liked jumping from planes anyway."

Clenching his teeth at her oddly joyous tone, Fury reached out and handed her a small silver box with a black button on the top of it. Looking down at the device, Tegan asked "what is _that_?"

Not dropping his hand down to put the gadget away he only stuck his arm out farther, trying to hand it to her, and explained "_this_ is your locator. It will be what you will use to signal a nearby S.H.I.E.L.D plane to come pick you up after you've completed your mission. If you press it early and get that pilot into trouble, you will not like the consequences if you two get back alive. And if that happens, you better hope you get back alive."

Warily eyeing the silver locator, she finally reached out to snatch it from his hands, only to turn back to the main doors to the hangar as they burst open with a clearly irritated Tony Stark storming towards the two with a frustrated Natasha following closely behind him. His curt voice cut loudly through the hangar, reverberating off the walls and making it sound as if a thousand, short, angry billionaires with the exact same voice as Tony were in there with them,

"Um, excuse me? I don't remember writing down anywhere that my plane was for civilian use."

Fury shot Natasha a disapproving look and Natasha only threw her hands in the air and mouthed 'it wasn't me'. He finally looked at Tony and said, "considering you're under _my _employment, I don't have to ask you to do anything. Besides, it's only going out for a short trip."

"Across the Atlantic Ocean! Into enemy airspace!" Was Tony's exasperated reply to the situation at hand.

Shifting his position to move closer to Tony, Fury crossed his arms and sternly told Tony, "it is the only plane currently on this ship that can take Agent Hollis safely where she needs to go with the technology we need it to have."

"I'm sorry, but have you missed the ten thousand times I've mentioned how much I _hate_ her? I'd much rather her swim across the damn ocean than fly across it in _my_ plane."

Furrowing her brows at his childish tantrum, Tegan stepped up and coldly replied, "hate's a bit of a strong word, don't you think? And how about you stop being a selfish child about this, yeah? It's not like we're going to purposely run it through the gauntlet of aircraft doom. Though I wouldn't mind-"

Fury cut her off as he stepped back in, "there's no way around it, Stark. Your plane is getting used, now if there's something I can do to ease your anger, I will do it."

Clicking his tongue to the top of his mouth, Tony shook his head, "I've told you a thousand times, Fury, you can't afford to buy my cooperation."

Sighing angrily, Fury snapped back at the stubborn man, "and I've told _you_ a thousand times that I wouldn't even consider paying you to spit shine my eye patch. I'm giving you a chance to not be so damn angry about this, take it or leave it. I will not lose sleep over worrying whether or not you are happy with my decision if you chose to not let me try to ease your worries."

For a moment, the four people simply stood there eyeing one another before Tony finally sighed and sharply said, "I want to fly it."

The three others piped up at the same time in a confused, unified exasperation of a loud, "What?"

Running a hand through his hair, Tony spoke in an impatient tone, "I would really not like to have to repeat myself, but here goes: the _only _way I'm going to be the least bit happy about this situation is if I get to fly my own plane. Is there a problem with that?"

Tegan glared at Tony, hardly trusting him to do the job as she needed it to be done. However, she knew full well that if Fury said that he could fly the plane, her opinion against the matter would not have much weight to it. The seconds passed quickly into minutes as Fury seemed to weigh his options before shrugging and saying, " yeah I guess you can fly your own plane. But you've wasted a lot of time here; I hope you're ready to depart right now."

Tony didn't even reply, he simply shrugged his shoulders and climbed aboard the plane. It was obvious he was ready to leave now as he started it up, causing the engines behind them to roar to life. Tegan shot Natasha a worried look. Catching the concern in her eyes, Natasha stepped forward and patted her shoulder reassuringly and shouted over the loud droning of the engines behind them, "Tony's one of the best pilots I know! He might hate you, but he knows that Fury'll have his head if he fucks this up for you. Just trust him, for once, ok?"

Numbly, Tegan nodded and let her gaze slide over to Fury who nodded and loudly said, "good luck Hollis. Remember what I've told you and warned you about. I will not have a problem sticking to my word should I have to; but I do not expect failure from you."

It took every ounce of her own will to climb aboard the plane that hummed impatiently in its stalled state, ready to spring off the runway and into the air with the man she wanted to stab in his sleep as her pilot. Shutting the door behind her, she barely had time to strap herself into one of the many plush seats on the plane as Tony immediately threw the plane into full throttle and raced off the runway and out into the dark, open air of the early morning. Cursing at him loudly over the sound of the takeoff for not giving her a warning, she unbuckled herself the second they were at a steady altitude and stalked over to the cockpit. She glared down at Tony sitting contently amongst the myriad of flashing lights and controls to say, "the next time you take off like that with me not ready, I'll break your neck."

Tony curled his head around to stare angrily up at her and replied back in an equally cool tone, "well maybe you should have been ready. You heard Fury; we wasted a lot of time."

Gritting her teeth, Tegan pointed out in an aggravated tone, "no, _you_ wasted time. I was ready to go until you came in and threw the biggest diva fit of the century."

Only getting a stern look in reply to her words, Tegan turned around and walked back to the middle of the plane and threw herself down on one of the many plush leather couches within the luxurious plane. Calling from where she sat she asked, "did you catch the part about Fury mentioning that we were going to hijack your plane to use its cloaking ability to disguise it as a private Russian jet to avoid trouble once we get over Europe?"

"Yes, I did. Please don't mother hen me or I'll drive this bitch into the water, tear holes in all of the parachutes, and get out before you do."

It was going to be the longest thirteen hours of her life, so rather than finding the desire to strike up a conversation with Tony, she instead drew herself inwards and began to try to plan her actions as far ahead of time as possible. While she'd been planning to have to hitch a ride from town out to her targeted compound, she was glad that the stress of figuring out whom on the streets of Moscow worked for HADES and who did not was gone. Now her only task was pinpointing where a super secret headquarters was in which she had no exact location for. This could be a bit of a dangerous task. She had not packed any food in plans of being forced to camp out in the harsh Russian winter wilderness and her jacket was only heavy enough to keep the frostbite away from her important extremities like her arms and chest for so long. If she failed to locate the headquarters at her first try, she'd be in a lot of trouble. However, there were ways to determine where major roads were and she planned to rely on those and seek out any smaller, hidden roads in hopes that they lead just to where she needed to go. At least she knew that when she touched down, she would have to head west.

Lost in her thoughts with the purring of the plane beneath her, sleep grabbed at her and dragged her down into a restless, dreamless slumber. She did not wake up until she felt a hard hand gripping her shoulder and shaking her back and forth. Primal instinct ignited the fire of adrenaline in her veins as she popped up from her vulnerable position and dragged whoever was touching her to the ground. She'd pulled a knife from her boot and pushed the blade against her attacker's throat. As she came to and let the blind fear roll off of her, she looked down with an almost sick sense of satisfaction to realize that she had Tony Stark beneath her, who was glaring up at her with the most unimpressed look she'd ever seen on his face. Not exactly releasing the pressure of her stance off of him, she hissed, "what do you want?"

Raising his hands defensively, Tony snapped, "I _want_ you to get off of me, how does that sound?"

After a few moments of increasing pressure, Tegan rocked back onto her heels and let Tony up. He sprang away from her defensively and stared at her as if she'd grown three heads. His hand instinctively reached up to touch his throat where the blade of her knife had been. Pulling his hand away to look down at it, he frowned at the red on his fingertips and snarled at Tegan, "thanks for cutting me, you bitch."

Clenching her teeth, Tegan stood up and sheathed her knife. Looking around and into the cockpit of the plane curiously she asked, "who's controlling the plane?"

"JARVIS is. I _was_ trying to wake your lazy ass up to tell you that we were almost to your drop off destination, but I think now I should have just let you sleep through the entire flight."

Narrowing her eyes at him, she turned her back to gather up her bag and parachute. Kneeling over one of his couches, she lifted the blinds on one of the windows to look out at the landscape below. Typical of any Russian winter, the lands that sped by beneath the quiet plane that dashed across the crystal clear skies was white with snow. Trees stood bare, giving the area a desolate feeling; Tegan loved winter for the lack of color and cold air, and she was eager to jump out of the plane (for more reasons than just the desire to officially start her mission). Securing everything to her, she turned sharply when Tony said that they were at the dropping point. She stood quietly for a moment, wondering if she could trust him now; but she figured that she had no choice but to trust him. Walking to the back door of the plane, she threw it open and gasped at the cold air that bit like an angry dog at her face. Anxiously, she clutched the side rail of the plane and shot Tony a sideways look. She really wished his face wasn't the last one she'd look at before she leapt from the plane to descend down into a land of opportunities and unknowns, but she worked with what she was given. Offering the man a half wave, she gathered up the courage to swallow down her nerves and took a large leap of faith out into the arms of the winter air that grabbed at her falling body as she plummeted to the ground below. Looking up quickly at the plane above her as it got smaller with their increased distance between them, she could have swore she saw Tony sticking his head out looking down at her.

_There's no turning back now._

After countless hours of preparation, it was here in the frosty embrace of the Russian winter that she blindly accepted whatever outcome fate was going to throw at her.

**Author's Notes: **I apologize for how late in the day this update has come! I haven't really been around internet access all day (still don't have any at home, poo). I wrote this chapter and the next chapter that I'll be putting up last night after I left the land of ~internet~. I know that this is all just centered around one character right now with no Steve, but bear with me! I promise that he'll make a major appearance in chapter seven! Thanks **Melibells **for the review! I appreciate your input and enjoyed waking up to your extensive review on my email this morning OuO _Of course _there's going to be a little ~somethin' somethin'~ between Steve and Tegan. ONE DAY WHEN SHE STOPS HATING HIM AND HE STOPS HATING HER ;u; And thanks for the welcome; it's a little weird to like a ~good guy~ for being as hard core of a Loki lover as I am, trololo. ANYWAY. Thanks for reading/adding to your alerts and favorites/reviewing. STAY AWESOME MY FRIENDS. Chapter 4 is coming shortly c:

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	4. In your eyes

CHAPTER FOUR

_In your eyes_

Aside from the obvious emotional payoff that came with starting every new mission, the one thing that Tegan always looked forward to, if it was a part of the plan, was skydiving down to her given location. How many jobs in the world required you to jump out of a plane on an almost daily basis? There was something about the lack of control of falling at a steady rate of acceleration towards the ground and a potential early but quick death should something go wrong that lit her veins on fire; the ability to control the uncontrollable was intoxicating. With timed precision, she tugged the string that would open up her parachute and waited for the jerk of the air catching in the canvas material that served as her only barrier between walking away from her descent or a very, very painful accident. Fear shot through her heart like a bullet as the jerk never came. Looking down at the quickly approaching world beneath her, she frantically looked up and snarled as she realized that a stray string had been tangled in the chords that connected her parachute to her body, keeping the material from opening all the way and thus failing to slow her reckless fall to earth.

Willing herself to be calm and reminding herself that she had a good three minutes before she reached the critical zone where even if she got her parachute open, it wouldn't do much to slow her fall. Ripping her knife from her belt she reached up and wildly hacked at the stubborn string, occasionally (fearfully) looking down to make sure she had time. After what felt like years of cutting, she finally heard the lovely noise of the canvas parachute opening and air filing it. The harness that held it to her body predictably jerked her upwards, causing her to lose her grip on her knife, but she didn't care. Relief flooded her body. However, her victory was short lived as she realized that she wasn't slowing down quick enough and whether she was ready for it or not, the ground was coming up to meet her. Readying herself for a rough landing, she curled her knees up and prepared to roll to avoid serious injury.

The shock of her feet slamming into the ground caused her to lose her prepared stance and the momentum of her fall made her violently lurch forward, sending her into a dizzying spin across the icy tundra. Scoring a large gouge in the snowy earth with her body, Tegan laid in a tangle of parachute, lines, and snow. Almost afraid to test if anything was broken, she slowly wiggled her legs and sighed happily after determining that nothing was severely injured. Finally sitting up, she began to twist her way out of the tangled harness. The snow that had shoved its way down her jacket burned the warm skin beneath and she quickly worked to free herself with frantic, jerky movements. Grunting and cussing at the 'useless piece of shit, mother fucking parachute' she managed to pull herself away after a few minutes of diligent tugging. Ripping her jacket off, she brushed the melting snow from her now frozen body. This had really started off well, hadn't it? Doing her best to shake the snow from her jacket, she shivered slightly at the cold wind that ripped through her thin suit, tearing at her like a hungry pack of wolves. Gingerly pulling the somewhat wet jacket back onto her quivering body, she looked up at the clear early morning sky. She had no idea what time it was, as she'd lost her watch in her haphazard descent. However, judging by the position of the moon, it had to be somewhere close to three in the morning.

While she would have preferred daylight and the safety of the sun to shield her from the natural threats of the wilderness of Russia, she was grateful for the dark cover having hopefully hidden her incident. Fishing for a compass in her bag, she pulled it out and pressed the button on the side that lit it up. Currently, she was facing south, she needed to go west. Turning to her right, she held her breath and listened for the noises of cars travelling along a road. A small, pleased smile crossed her face as she caught the faint sounds of midnight traffic on a quiet country road. Heading off west, she pulled her jacket tighter around her already bruised body and broke out in a hasty run towards the road in the distance. It didn't take long for her to stumble across it. Crouching down and out of the oncoming headlights in a cluster of leaf-bare bushes desperately trying to grow along the side of the highway, she studied the passing vehicles. To her, most of them all looked the same: old, worn out cars traveling at a speed that would infuriate the normal American driver. However, just as she was about to deem this road useless and simply walk along it herself until she hopefully found what she needed, a long caravan of heavily armored trucks heading north drew her attention. Squinting in the dark to see if there were any emblems on the side, her heart leapt up into her throat as she caught sight of the blue skull in red flames that everyone in the world could recognize as the insignia of HADES.

For as bad as her mission had started, it seemed that it was taking a turn for the better. Looking at the oncoming traffic in hopes that there would not be a car approaching that would hit her; she waited for the last van in the line to pass before she sprinted out onto the road. Praying that they did not see her, she gauged the distance between her and the back of the last truck, ran faster and sprang up onto the back bumper. Grabbing for something to hold, she flailed around slightly as she began to fall backwards, but finally grabbed a small rail on the back door, narrowly avoiding toppling down onto the hard road beneath her. Assuming (and praying) that these trucks were just armored equipment trucks, she tested fate and slipped through the door in the back and rolled into the back cab of the loud van. Luckily, she found herself sharing the company of many hastily closed crates and not an army of guards or soldiers. Nestling in the least obvious place at the back of the van, she waited.

The ride had been short, only twenty minutes or so, when the van screeched to a stop. Outside, she could hear forceful, almost angry Russian words being thrown around. Not having completely mastered the Russian language, she only picked up on a few things, but gathered enough to know that they were at the entrance checkpoint into the headquarters. While she quietly celebrated the current string of success she was on, she looked around hastily for something to cover herself up in. Spotting a canvas tarp just within her reach, she quickly pulled it to her and draped it over her body. Curling up to try to appear as small as possible, she listened as the door behind was opened and the sound of heavy boots clanged against the metal floor of the back of the van. Holding her breath, her heart pounded in her ears. She wished that it could stop beating for just a few moments; she feared that the man surveying the back of the truck would hear it betraying her as it hammered wildly against her chest. Once or twice the beam of the checkpoint guard's light passed over her tiny little corner and she curled her muscles up in preparation to spring at him and kill him if needed; not that such an attack would do her any good, as she had counted at least five other voices outside, all of which had to belong to heavily armed men with a sensitive trigger finger.

However, the tense moment passed and the truck was given a seal of approval to carry on. The engine roared to life and she breathed a collective sigh of relief. Still, knowing that she was now in what could be considered the front yard of the HADES headquarters; she remained under the fallible safety of the canvas tarp and waited again for the truck to come to a full stop. However, her impatience won over her better judgment as she eagerly eased out from beneath the tarp and inched towards the back of the van. Cautiously opening the door of the van, she peered out at the compound around her. For four in the morning, it was rather busy, but lucky for her no eyes seemed to be on the vans. Putting her bag down and pulling out everything and attaching it to her belt, she discarded her bag out onto the road as a distraction for anyone looking and shortly after she herself rolled out from the back. Gripping a gun in her hands, she hit the ground and rolled off to the side to hide behind a stack of empty boxes against the large concrete building that loomed above her. Breathing heavily from excitement, she looked up at the semi-windowless warehouse that cast a menacing shadow above her and debated how she was going to get in.

Her attention snapped away from the building as an angry voice shouting in Russian and telling her to put down her weapon sounded behind her. Eyes wide she turned to find herself greeted with the raised and glowing barrel of a vamped HYDRA gun. Having been told what those weapons had been fabled to do, she forced down the panic, shot the guard in the head and dodged the stream of energy that came from the gun pointed at her as the man reflexively, in his throes of death, pulled the trigger. Crawling to where he fell, she looked around wildly and pulled his gun from his body and stripped off his jacket and pants. Easing into them and ignoring how roomy they were, she strapped the heavy gun around her and used his bloody hat to hide her hair. Looking down at the body, she realized that she couldn't just leave it there. Pointing the gun at the corpse, she pulled the trigger and watched with amazement as the body vaporized right in front of her.

She did not have long to marvel at the horrifying power of the gun in her hands, as someone behind her shouted at her, asking if 'he' was alright. Turning and lowering her voice an octave in a poor attempt to hide her gender she replied in broken Russian in a sentence that roughly translated to: "I thought I saw something, so I fired my gun twice, I must need some sleep." The man that drew closer to her was puzzled by her voice and was not completely won over by her excuse and asked what was wrong with 'him'. Fighting back the fear as she began to reach the edge of her knowledge in Russian she said: "Sore throat."

The two stared at each other for a moment, and as the seconds passed by, Tegan was beginning to regret hastily leaving the truck before it parked. However, the man finally huffed at her and dismissed her, telling her that she should probably go help move the arrival of equipment to the Reactor Room. These orders thoroughly grabbed her interest and did not need to be told twice on what she should be doing. Chances were that everything she really needed to know on this mission could be answered by taking a small box of something to the 'Reactor Room'. Following a line of what looked like imprisoned United Forces soldiers forced into work to where the trucks had finally parked. When asked why she was over there, she said that she was ordered to help keep the prisoners in line. Once more, she was asked what was wrong with her voice, and once again she grumpily replied that she was sick.

Slightly appalled that everyone was buying her poor Russian and fake-male accent excuses, she did not really complain all that much as she turned and followed a line of working soldiers to hopefully what would be the Reactor Room. Somewhere along the way, she darted off to the shadows and stripped out of the guard clothes that smelled of vodka, cigarettes, and sweat. Her nose wrinkled up as she discarded them to the side. For a brief moment, she clutched eagerly to her stolen gun, but reluctantly let it go as she told herself that it would be too cumbersome to drag around the inner tunnels of the warehouse. Slipping through an unlocked door, she snuck quietly around the oddly deserted hallways.

_Where the hell is everyone_?

They couldn't all be waiting for whatever show would be going on in the room she'd originally been going to, could they? Of course, she had no idea how many people were actually in the place and couldn't quite gage who should be where. So, with no other choice left to her, she doubled back around and quietly snuck off in the direction she'd originally been headed to. Crouching down low as she came to a wall with large glass windows on the top half, she realized that she'd somehow found her way not only to the 'Reactor Room' but also to a viewing area, which was also woefully empty. Curiously pressing her face against the glass, she gazed down at the flurry of work below. Her heart stopped in her chest as she realized what was happening: she was about to witness the rumors that she'd heard come true. Ice crept into her veins as she froze in her spot, eyes wide in an almost child-like curiosity. Everyone below was beginning to clear out, leaving only a few cloaked scientists in the main area. Now, Tegan was no scientist herself, so when they began to pull levers and push buttons, she could only assume that they were working their Russian science magic. She didn't know how the hell any of this was working, but her eyes grew wider as she looked up to the ceiling as what she could only assume was a portal to space opened up. Through it, she caught glimpses of a glorious golden city, shining in a mid-afternoon sunlight that bathed the entire planet in a warm glow. However, her eyes didn't linger on the city within the portal for long, because an ominously glowing blue cube descended down the middle of the portal like a resurrected messiah come to lead its disciples to the promised land of enhanced weaponry once more.

When the Tesseract finally made contact with the reactor, the portal above quickly closed and a surge of energy and electricity let off a bright light and a loud boom, shattering every window. Falling down in to a crouch, Tegan raised her hands over her head to protect herself from the shower of glass that rained down from the destroyed windows above. There was a deadly silence below and she dared herself to rise up and look into the room once more. So this was it; everything that she'd been told to confirm was confirmed. The United Forces would be powerless if HADES managed to weaponize the blue cube of unlimited energy they now had grasped firmly in their clutches. So now, the only option Tegan had was to turn and get out of there as she could, but her astonishment and wonderment of what she had just witnessed kept her glued to her spot for just a minute too long.

In her mind, she told herself that she was going to have to run as fast as she could manage, that she wasn't going to be able to stop for anything. She had to just make a dead sprint for it. The horror of what was going on and of everything that was finally made real welled up in her chest and slipped its slimy fingers around her throat, choking the breath from her lungs as she realized how absolutely and totally fucked everyone was not that HADES had what they'd been after. Finally, she managed to stand up and sneak out of the room. Dread blinded her as she turned to get the hell out of there. Breaking into a dead run, she rounded a corner and tumbled to a halt at a patrol of guards rounding the opposite corner in front of her. The two opposing forces stared at one another for a stunned moment before Tegan turned to sprint away in the opposite direction. Everything that she was told not to do, she'd done. She had allowed herself to linger for far too long, and now she was caught in the thick middle of a trouble she shouldn't have gotten herself into. This was the trouble that Fury had said no one would come to save her from –she did not doubt the director's seriousness on the matter either.

Her heart furiously pounded in her ears as her blood began to boil from the instinct that began to set in, but it was not enough to drown out the sound of angry shouting and heavy boots thudding behind her. She'd always wondered what it was like to be the one getting chased and now she knew enough of the terrifying feeling to know that she did not like it one bit. Simply guessing on a way out, she turned down several hallways, hoping to lose her pursuers, but unfortunately they had the advantage of knowing the place better than she did. She did not have enough time to stop as she spotted a familiar, tall blond figure at the end of the hall she raced down. He stood his ground as if waiting to catch her. Reaching out and snatching her from her marathon through the headquarters of HADES, Erik Sunderland pulled her to him and smirked down at her. Breathing heavily and yelping from surprise, Tegan ripped herself from his grip and turned to run back in the way she'd come, only to realize that she was trapped. Looking around the hall wildly, she felt dismay begin to creep in as she realized that she had no doors to disappear into; she couldn't even climb up the wall into an air vent. Erik opened his arms and offered her a smile in a gesture of falsified friendship and greeting, his light German accent grated in her ears like nails on a chalk board,

"Welcome to Russia, Agent Hollis! I hope your trip wasn't too difficult. You know, I was expecting them to send the infamous Black Widow. Actually, I'd been counting on it; I had a greeting speech made up and everything. Am I not good enough for the best that S.H.I.E.L.D has to offer?"

Still breathing heavily from the heat of her chase, Tegan straightened up and clenched her teeth. The only option she had now was to buy herself some time to think of a plan of escape. Shaking her head, Tegan hissed angrily at the man, "what if I told you that I am the best that S.H.I.E.L.D has to offer now?"

Erik laughed at this and waved away most of the guards that had gathered behind her, only leaving three lining the hallways. He also turned to shoo the guards behind him away. With just four people standing between her and an escape, Tegan almost felt hopeful about the situation; that is, she was feeling this way until Erik stepped forward and she instinctively stepped back into the wall of guards behind her. One reached out to steady her, his large hand gripping her shoulder tightly. Ignoring the pain that laced through her arm, she did her best to relax and focus on what Erik was telling her,

"I know that you have this whole god-complex issue going on with you, Tegan, but I think it's time someone informed you that if you are the 'best' that Fury has to throw at me, then S.H.I.E.L.D and the United Forces are more hopelessly lost in this war than I originally expected."

Not sure what else to say, Tegan spat at him, "we have secret weapons too, you know."

Erik laughed at her but did not say anything for a moment. Tegan studied him. He had not changed since she'd last seen him. He was the picture perfect Aryan German. Tall, lightly muscled, with a head of light blond hair and icy blue eyes; at one time, Tegan had found herself taken by him and his impressive presence, but now it was all she could do to keep from vomiting on his shoes. Looking away from him, she recoiled as his cold gloved hand reached out and cupped her chin, pulling her gaze back to him. He was smiling at her in a way she imagined a lion would smile at a cornered gazelle if they could offer such an expression to their trapped prey,

"Secret weapons? I highly doubt that your 'weapons' you speak of are so secret. I know for a fact that you are most likely talking about that silly Avenger group of yours. They have nothing on me, you know that," finally pulling his hand from her face he stepped back and addressed the guard that was holding her, "the good agent and I are not done talking, but I have some business to attend to before we continue our _thrilling_ conversation. If you'll take her to the Black Box, I will be there shortly."

The guard tightened his grip on her and at that very moment, even for all her natural curiosity, Tegan had absolutely no desire to find out what the Black Box was. Twisting around as best she could in her captor's hands, she offered a swift kick to his groin and leapt away from him as his grasp loosened on her. Unfortunately, she did not get very far as Erik reached out to grab her by the knot of her hair, his long fingers curling around the black bun at the base of her neck. Pulling her back to him, he yanked her downwards and threw her to the ground. Her head collided with the tile and stars lit up in front of her eyes like the night sky on the Fourth of July. For a moment, Erik stood over her with a look that lacked surprise. The air had been knocked from her lungs, and Tegan kept telling herself to get up and get away, but she was not quick enough. Her last waking memory was of the sharp toe of Erik's boot colliding with her temple, and then beyond that she was falling into a darkness that reached up to grip her tightly despite how hard she fought against it as it dragged her down into the nothingness.

**Author's Notes: **I wrote this chapter last night, so I don't really remember what's in it...sort of. So therefore, I don't have much to comment on, haaa. OH. Erik, right. Yeah. He's kind of a crazy bastard. And how did the Tesseract come back? Don't ask me. I'm point at Erik and claiming crazy German magic/science. JUST ACCEPT IT, OK D: I didn't think the reality of this through very thoroughly. So just close your eyes and pretend that is what happens, OK? OK? OK. So yeah. Looks like Tegan's in for some tough shit ahead. WAY TO GO TEGAN; MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE WAITED SO LONG. And I forgot to shout out in my last author's notes to **Jen Lennon** again! Thanks for reading so enthusiastically, I'm glad you're getting attached to Tegan. She's growing on me too! As always, I thank y'all for reading/reviewing/adding this story to your alerts, it makes me smile~~

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	5. I just never added up

CHAPTER FIVE

_I just never added up_

In a black room with the only light provided coming in from the small window on the door, Tegan had no idea what time it was, not that time was relevant to her anymore but it was a natural habit to always wonder. She woke up strapped to a cold metal table only in her bra and underwear –completely surprised that they'd left that much on her- with her arms chained above her head and a dull ache spreading from her temple down across the side of her face, making her sick to her stomach. There had been a few other times in Tegan's life when she'd been knocked out, and for the most part she knew enough about the sensation of falling into a crevice of darkness and dreamlessness to not like it. It was not the actual losing consciousness that she disliked, it was the fact that when you're knocked out, you're completely powerless. When you reach the point where you've spiraled so hard out of control that you can't even stay awake, then you've done something wrong.

Tegan had definitely done something wrong.

She played the memories she had over and over again in her mind, an endless stream of internal personal torture and painful reminder of absolute failure. She knew for a fact that Fury would stick to his word of not providing back up or rescue for her. They were in world at war, and the resources, time, and man power needed to spring her from the trap she'd foolishly fallen into were scarce. They'd barely had the time and resources to _get_ her here, much less get her out if things went wrong. Tegan tried to pinpoint the exact moment in her mission where she'd started doing things wrong. She'd jumped when she was told from the plane, her landing was rough but that wasn't her fault. She found the vans, and she got on them as quickly as she could –there was no doubt that she'd have to get on them. She managed to avoid detection at the check point; that was a personal triumph. However, she should have waited for the damn vans to stop moving. She took the wrong turn the second she impatiently jumped from the back of the vehicle. Biting her lip and holding back hot tears of frustration at the thought, she told herself that there was nothing she could do now. She was at the mercy of an old colleague that, at this point, probably only wanted to see her suffer.

Like anyone that would wake to find themselves strapped to a table with an impending painful death ahead of them, Tegan regretted all the things in her life that she'd done wrong, and felt a deep sorrow for everything she was going to miss out on. She thought of all the things she never got to say to her grandmother when she finally passed away. She reminisced on how quickly she'd lost the motivation to track down her real father and force him to accept the fact that he had a daughter. She even found the strength to smile as she thought of how much she liked her job at S.H.I.E.L.D. Sure, they weren't going to come get her now that she'd made the biggest mistake of her life, but she certainly did not lament over joining up when she was fourteen in the first place anyway. She had been so young and was in desperate need of a home, a place to go, a purpose to belong to. Whether it was her parentage, abilities, or sheer desire to become a spy that got her in, she wasn't sure. All she knew was that she sure as hell was glad they let a scrawny, five-foot nothing girl on the cusp of puberty with everything to prove and nothing to lose into the program. Everything she had, she had Nick Fury to thank; if he had not fought so hard to let her in (while constantly reminding her that he was never the type to do favors), she would probably still be on the streets, alone and hopeless as ever. She'd learned so much and come so far.

Look how low she had fallen.

It was hard to find hope in such a dark place, and right at the moment she thought she had it within her grasps, the door to the room opened and it was all gone. She was brought back to the reality at hand. She was going to die slowly, and there was nothing she could do about it. A violent shiver twisted her muscles and shook her body as she looked at the silhouetted form of Erik against the harsh light in the hallway outside the room she'd been put in. From what she could tell in the dim light, he held a red velvet box in his hand and as he strode farther into the room, he gently nudged the door closed with his heel. As the light was cut off once more, the two were left in total darkness and dread began to crawl its way up Tegan's stomach, branching out into her heart and scrabbling at her throat. Finally, Erik pulled the string to the singular light fixture in the room and Tegan jumped as she realized he was standing right over her.

It seems that her captor had changed. When she first ran into him he had been wearing some sort of military uniform, but now he wore a light blue button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up past his elbows. The top of his shirt was tucked into neatly pressed black pants. Craning her head she studied him for a moment. He looked no older now than he had when she'd seen him last and she wondered how the stress of conducting a war, running a country, and being absolutely insane had not aged him. Of course, not earning a few gray hairs in times like these was probably one of the many perks of being on the side that was currently winning. He reached over and pulled a small portable table and set the box down on it. While he was currently silent, Tegan could feel him dying to say something. She would have spat an ugly greeting at him when he first came in, but the cloth tied into her mouth would have prevented her from making a coherent sentence. Instead, she poured all the hatred she could muster into her burning glares. While she'd never really wanted to have laser implants in her eyes, now was one of the many times that she wished her looks could actually kill. Finally, the silence was broken as Erik turned to her and sat on the side of the table she was strapped to, and looking down at her with an almost forlorn look he said,

"You can stop looking at me like that; I'm not going to spontaneously combust any time soon."

She was surprised when he leaned forward and slipped the gag from her mouth; but she wasted no time insulting him,

"Can you stop with the fake fucking accent? It's got to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. From what I remember, you were born in _Texas_ and had a southern accent. You don't reclaim your German heritage and start talking like you are talking by just living in Germany for six years."

Erik let the corners of his mouth curl up into an amused smile,

"You don't remember me very well, then Tegan. I have always talked like this."

He didn't let her reply, because he stood up and walked the few steps back over to where he'd set his box down. Following his movements, Tegan's breathing slowly began to accelerate as she watched him rummage around through it. As he turned back to her, the dull light above them glinted off a finely polished dagger in his hands. He walked back to where she lay and traced the tip of it under her belly button and dragged up to the point where her chin and neck met. Her skin crawled beneath the cold feeling of the knife barely touching her skin. For a moment, the point of the blade in his hands dug into where he'd stopped it at her throat and her breathing began to reach a fairly frenzied pace as Erik sadly spoke,

"I always found you to be so pretty. I was even foolish enough to think that you liked me. Unfortunately, you proved time and time again that you do not have a normal heart, but rather one made of steel."

Fighting down the panic, Tegan let out a forced, angry laugh and barked at him, "if you're wanting to ask me out on a date, Erik, you might want to do it in a more romantic manner than shoving a knife against my throat, but you at least got the complimenting part down."

Erik smirked and leaned down, without releasing the pressure of the knife on her throat, to forcefully press his lips against hers. Growing rigid beneath his touch, she tried to turn her head away, only for him to grab her chin and pull her head back to his. With no other option, she snatched his lip between her teeth and bit down until she tasted blood. Snarling loudly at the pain that laced through his mouth, the back of his hand came up to smack her as hard as he could possibly manage on the side of her face, reeling back he touched his lip and drew his hand away to look down at the blood on his fingers. Having dropped his knife in his jumping, he bent back down and picked it up. Looking at the agent that, at the moment, resembled an angry snake more than a human with the way she writhed in fury and hissed insults at him. Licking his wound, he smirked and said,

"I should have known better, that's not the first time you've bitten me."

Narrowing her eyes and growling she challenged him, "try it again and I'll bite your whole fucking lip off."

Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, he sauntered back over to her and lightly traced the angry red outline on her cheek that his hand had made. Tegan jerked away from his touch, only to remember that she couldn't get too far. Already growing tired of his playing she irritably asked,

"Is this all you came here to do? Because if so you're not doing a good job of scaring me into liking you."

Erik laughed softly at her and shook his head, "surprisingly, 'scaring you into liking me' is not the first thing on my list to do to you," he moved back over to her and let the hand not holding his knife slide down the cold skin of her stomach and under the thin fabric of her panties and smirked at the almost terrified expression that flickered across her hazel eyes for a moment before being replaced with fiery hatred, "though word of advice: you shouldn't kid yourself into thinking that everyone wants you to like them, Tegan. You aren't exactly favorable company to be around; that much about you I do remember. Though I can't say that you are the same person now than you were then, so maybe you've changed."

He slipped two fingers inside her and deepened his smirk as she sucked in a sharp breath of air and squirmed beneath his touch. Through gritted teeth she managed, once more, to let out a string of cusses and insults and Erik laughed,

"Perhaps you haven't changed all that much."

Growling at him in reply, Tegan offered him a sharp, "you haven't changed either."

He curled his two fingers upwards and raked his nails across her sensitive walls, smiling as she gasped in pain. Withdrawing his hand from her and wiping his fingers off on her flat, quickly rising stomach, Tegan felt her blood run cold as she realized that there was no part of her body that he wasn't going to use against her in torture. He wanted nothing but absolute pain from her, and her heart sunk like a stone down to settle at the bottom of her stomach. She jumped as she felt his fingers tracing the small serial code tattooed on her left wrist. He brought his own wrist up to the light and showed her the numbers. She didn't say anything in response to this, however he nostalgically said, "I always thought that I was lucky to have been given the number after you; especially considering how foolish I was back then to have admired you as I did. I thought it meant that we were equal…but, my eyes were opened and I realized that we are the least bit equal."

Calming her rapid breathing down, Tegan hissed, "thank God I'm nothing like you, because you're kind of one of the biggest failures at S.H.I.E.L.D that I've ever known. You're also absolutely bat shit crazy. I've always told you that. But most importantly, you fail at everything you try."

While she had expected her taunt to not sit well with Erik, she did not expect the sudden burst of anger as he whirled around and slammed the point of the knife in his hand down onto her open palm. Pain lit a fire up in her hand and burned up her arm as she drew her mouth open in a silent scream of agony. She could feel a warm trickle of blood seep out from the wound. She did her best to avoid giving him a complete show of submission through pain, but despite her efforts a painful tear rolled out from the corner of her eye. Hovering above her, Erik seethed like a kicked nest of angry hornets,

"I am not a failure! I have done far more than you, or anyone at S.H.I.E.L.D will ever do! Tell me: am I a failure for having risen one of the most powerful political parties in Europe since Hitler's Nazi party? Am I a failure for having ignited the fire of a third world war; a war that I am winning? Am I a failure because I united the strongest nations that had enough vision to follow me? Do failures bring back the Tesseract into their possession? Do failures use the power of the Tesseract to begin to set up reactors all around the nations of my European enemies; reactors that when activated will connect with one another and create a ring and destroy everything within that ring? _I think not_!"

He grabbed the hilt of the knife in her hand and jerked it down to her wrist, tearing a large hole in her hand and causing her to cry out in pain once more as blood welled up in the wound. Jerking the blade from her hand, he wiped the bloodied metal off on her cheek, and her voice began to tremble as she quietly said, "that sounds like my exact definition of a failure. You couldn't make it as someone on the good side, so you had to go the easy way and make your own bad side."

Erik laughed harshly at her and hissed, "my 'side' is the only side to be on. Might I remind you that it is I who is winning this war?"

The pain in Tegan's hand dulled from a sharp burn to a slow and steady ache. In the gash on her palm, she could feel her heart beating. Once or twice, she tried to curl her fingers to test what damage had been done, only to whimper quietly from the pain. Turning away from her, Erik walked back over to his box, while placing the knife in his back pocket, he rummaged back through it. The metal sound of unknown instruments clinking together sent chills of terrified anticipation rolling through Tegan's body. It was already established between the two that Erik did not care how much pain Tegan was in, so the chances of there being something good in his little box of horrors was slim.

While she'd never quite liked Erik when he was an agent at S.H.I.E.L.D in training with her, she'd at least always considered them to have been close enough friends. Not the type of friendship that she shared with Natasha, but a more accepting toleration like the one she had for Reece. She had respected him once, and it was hard to deal with the knowledge that someone you once had romantic feelings for had become the world's worst enemy and craziest German (aside from Hitler) in history. Maybe she would have once considered them at least close enough friends for him to not rip a hole in her hand with a knife, but perhaps Erik's definition of 'friendship' had changed in the last six years since he'd left S.H.I.E.L.D. In a way, she found herself angry at him, but above all she pitied him. She might be a calloused piece of shit to everyone around her, but he had literally isolated himself to the point where he had to cause pain to accept himself and justify all his crazy delusions. If anything, Erik Sunderland was a good example to Tegan of where her life could be headed (if she got out of this) if she did not change how she acted towards the people in her life.

Tegan's attention was torn away from her pity towards her torturer as she took note of the new gadget in his hands. It was not as elegant as the ivory handled knife he'd been playing with just moments before, but then again pliers weren't exactly something she thought that could be dressed up to be made classy anyway. They were a tool, normally to help but the second he moved towards her she knew exactly what he was going to do with them. He opened the pliers and placed the nail of her right thumb between the metal grips and squeezed the handle to shut it. He pulled gently on her nail, giving enough pressure for it to start to separate from the quick beneath and to start to hurt. Breathing heavily in anticipation of what he was going to do, she listened to him as he quietly asked, "so I'm going to ask you a couple of questions; mostly because I'm curious about your side of the story, and I'm hoping that you have the sense to be truthful with me and to not lie. After all, it'd be a shame if I had to rip your beautiful nails off."

Gritting her teeth, Tegan did not reply but only tilted her head back to try to get a better look at his face. The second she shifted into a better angle, she wished she had not looked up at him. He had completely changed from the person he'd been only minutes before with her. While he'd been nostalgic and rather open and easy to read, he'd shut himself behind a wall of burning anger and his blue eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them. For the first time since he'd entered the room, Tegan felt truly afraid to be at his utmost unforgiving mercy. Taking her silence as a sign to continue, Erik leaned into the table a bit, looking down at her and asked,

"I don't remember having told anyone about what I was planning to do with the stolen HYDRA weapons, and it's obvious that you came here to see what I was doing. So tell me, who told you?"

For a moment, Tegan was quiet before she flatly answered, "no one told me."

In the back of her mind, she knew that she should have elaborated, but her temper was fighting her every step of the way to be cooperative and like most times, her anger won. The pain that laced her thumb was almost equivalent to the pain that had throbbed in her hand when he had stabbed her. Crying out in a low whine of agony, she could barely hear him asking the question again above the noises of her own tortured cries as he placed her left thumb nail between the pliers. Again, she answered that no one had told her (and she was pretty much being truthful, she _hadn't_ been told, she had read about it), and again he ripped her nail off with his pliers.

With each subsequent question and each wrong answer, she lost a nail on her hands. For how long this particular torture continued, Tegan wasn't exactly sure, but at one point, with his pliers on the ring finger of her left hand, she found herself in a hopeless enough state to quietly beg, "_please_, Erik. I'm telling you the truth. No one told me about your plans, I read about them."

For a moment, the pressure on her nail decreased and she thought that he had pulled away; but she was proven wrong when he ripped that nail off too. Letting out a hoarse cry, she sobbed for a moment and tried to gather up the strength to stop the tears, but couldn't even manage that much control over herself anymore. Erik stepped away from her and placed his bloodied pliers on the table. He looked over at her pale, shivering form. Her light skin looked ashen in the dim light, her hands were red, and there wasn't a single part of her body that wasn't shaking. Whether it was from pain, fear, or anger he did not know; but hoped that she was at least in pain. Licking his dry lips, he considered the possibility of his plans having been leaked to the public through the treacherous actions of someone within his own operation. It was entirely plausible, but he was not ready to accept Tegan's words as truth.

After years of feeling slighted by her and S.H.I.E.L.D, he finally had at least one of them under his control to torture and vindicate his own feelings against as he pleased. Now with the added power, Erik found himself reluctant to give in to the truth that Tegan was making so plainly obvious to him. He told himself that she was still lying, that she was keeping something from him. He inwardly lied and convinced himself that there were double agents within HADES, and that was how she got her information. Moving back over to her, he smiled happily at the fear that lit up like a Christmas tree in her eyes as he approached. He drew out the knife from the back pocket of his pants and placed the flat of his blade against the skin of her belly. Looking at her he asked his question again. When he got the same answer that he didn't want to hear, he pushed the blade into her stomach and dragged it downwards, shaving off a thin layer of skin as he did so.

Beneath him, she squirmed in pain and shrieked at the new torture. Erik smirked as she panted and begged him to stop,

"It's funny how even someone who has fooled themselves into thinking they are invincible will resort to begging so quickly. Who would have known that even those that think themselves God could bleed?"

He quickly returned back to his questioning. It continued on and on, each time she answered the exact same way, he sheared off a new thin layer of skin, and the cuts of his knife were not reserved to the flat skin of her belly. He did this on her arms, her face, her chest, her neck, her legs; if it had skin, it was not safe from him. The table beneath her began to turn a dark red, and Erik's clean blue shirt now had flecks of blood on it. With each new added cut, the blood loss began to make her head swim, and while she fought against the darkness that rose up in her mind once more, after what felt like the hundredth asking of his question, she didn't even manage to get out the same answer as her eyes rolled up into the back of her head and the void in her mind claimed her once more.

**Author's Notes: **And here is the end of all my pre-written chapters. From here on, I must write them day by day. SO SAD. Just kidding. So..._looks like Tegan's not doing so well_. And yes, for those of you that didn't catch it, Erik is an ex-S.H.I.E.L.D agent. They just kind of keep that on the DL, so not many people in the story are aware of it. However, Tegan happened to know him personally..._on more than one level_. He and Tegan have a bit of history, as was briefly touched on in this chapter. We'll find out more about that as the story progresses~ Thanks for reading/adding to your alerts/reviewing!

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	6. In my heart I know

CHAPTER SIX

_In my heart I know_

There was nothing easy about having to deem a mission a failure and having to continue living without the definitive knowledge of whether or not the agent lost was still alive or long dead. For all the claiming he did of being apathetic about the whereabouts of his agents should they come up as missing behind enemy lines, Nick Fury worried about them. There was nothing more demoralizing than losing a spy to the enemy. When the news had come that Tegan had failed to make the call for pick up at the reasonable hour that she should have, Fury's hopes had dropped. Not just because they needed the confirmation of what was going on within the HADES ring of power, but also because he'd just lost another good, well trained agent with experience to the vicious vice grips of war. Tegan had been difficult to deal with, she had a mind of her own, and there was no doubt that most of the time she was a liability rather than a rally round, but she had proven herself when things got rough time and time again that her abilities far outweighed the cons that came with dealing with her.

When the message came that the Council wanted to talk to him, Fury was not surprised. He had actually been waiting for the moment that his superiors wanted to call him in to point out that yet again, things had not gone as they planned. He knew that it was going to happen, but in a way he felt like he was walking to an execution as he quietly made his way through the crowded halls of the Helicarrier. He avoided making eye contact with anyone, not wanting to see the lack of moral, not wanting to be reminded that the control over the war they'd been fighting so hard to keep was slipping right through their fingers like water; and no matter how hard they tried to keep it in their grip, it continued to slip away. It danced in front of them, a haunting taunt and painful reminder of what the Central Forces had that they did not.

So here he was again, standing in the dark room with the dark screens, about to answer for yet another letdown. How many times would he have to do this before everyone in the United Forces threw in the towel? How many more agents would he lose? How many more lives would be sacrificed for the freedom of the world? Would there even be a world left after the war died down? The questions piled up in his mind and teetered dangerous, threatening to fall down. Yet, for all the pressures that pushed down on him from all sides, Nick Fury had to soldier on. When the world fell into disarray and darkness, he had to pick it back up and point it towards the light. He was the God damn Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, he had powerful weapons at his disposal. He had dedicated agents and soldiers literally dying to be put on the front lines to fight for the cause.

_But is it enough_?

The doubtful question tore through his confident façade and he closed his one good eye and pinched the bridge of his nose. All he needed after this was a good nap. No. Not a nap, a large cup of coffee. God knows the second he put his head down on a pillow to rest the world would erupt into chaos. He was not given much time to ponder and sulk as the screens above him lit up with life and revealed the four shadowed members of the Council, each of them taking turns of greeting him; which was more than he usually got, so perhaps they too were feeling the sting of the recent loss. Shaking off the heavy blanket of uncertainty that had settled over him, he squared his shoulders and opened his eye to glare defiantly at his superiors. If there was one thing he hated about these meetings, it was the lack of personal contact between the people that looked down on him and told him he was doing his job wrong. Not exactly the type of person to even _like_ being putdown, he figured that if it was going to happen, he wanted to be able to look the bastard in the eye while they did it. Being forced to communicate with the people that thought they knew what was best for the world through impersonal screens with shadowed figures was not Fury's ideal business meeting –however he had no choice and after staring at the four people on the screens for a moment he took a deep breath and forced all his emotions down, burying them beneath the weight of his duties and said,

"What would you like to know?"

The man in the middle shifted slightly and leaned into the back of his chair as he casually asked, "we'd like to know what you have learned from the mission into the HADES headquarters in Russia."

Shock ebbed into Fury's cold hands as he locked them behind his back and rocked slightly back onto his heels. So they didn't know that the mission had been a failure? Or were they simply testing him? Perhaps they were punishing him; making him admit out loud to them and to himself that the incursion into the compound had been a complete failure. Maintaining a steady voice, he boldly asked,

"Would you like to know when we suspected we lost her, or would you like to know whether or not I have planned a rescue mission? Or would you rather me tell you the full details that were relayed to us early this morning about the mission?"

The four people seemed to move in their seats uncomfortably. The questions sat uneasy with them and it became painfully obvious that they truly had no idea that the mission had been a failure. The woman off to the left of the middle screen shook her head and shrilly asked,

"So are you saying that the girl you sent failed?"

Gritting his teeth at this Fury sharply nodded his head, "I don't think I stuttered."

He shouldn't have felt so satisfied, but he couldn't help but feel content as the four turned to one another to discuss this new information in quiet, hushed tones. Fury tilted his chin upwards, training his eye on the middle screen. If he had been slightly discouraged before the knowledge that he, for once, got to break news to the Council was enough to send a slightly elated jolt into his heart. He shouldn't feel so vindicated by this, but he sat quietly and reveled in the sudden turn of events. However, he kept his gloating well internalized as the man in the middle leaned forward and asked,

"When did you suspect the mission to be a failure, Director?"

"At oh-three hundred hours today; the pilot that was in the area that was supposed to pick up Agent Hollis after she got out informed us that she had not made any attempts to turn on her locator. If she _did_ get out, chances are she's still roaming around behind enemy lines. But that is the more hopeful outcome of the failed mission. We gave her another three hours to make contact with the pilot, but that window of time has come and gone; we deemed her mission a failure and Agent Hollis missing in action at noon today."

The man with the German accent who always sat on the edge of the group finally piped up, "you must get someone in there."

Fury raised a curious eyebrow, "surely it is not the agent you are worried about?"

The German man shook his head, "we _need_ to know whether or not the rumors are true. Without the confirmation, we will not know what new forces we could be facing."

Fury silently chided himself for even thinking that for once they cared about the lives of the people they had at their disposal. However he did not think, as they did, that absolute knowledge of what exactly HADES and the Central Forces was planning was an exact necessity to their continued participation in the war and argued,

"I do not think that it is imperative that we are absolutely certain of what is going on behind HADES or not. I think that we should treat the rumors as complete truth and that we should fight the war with greater caution and push our own weapons manufacturing to higher, more sophisticated levels. Chances are they _do_ have the Tesseract. If they have it, then they're making some serious weapons. We need to be ready to counter their forces."

The man in the middle cut in sharply, "that is a nice theory, Director Fury, but we do not pay you to think, we pay you to obey."

Gritting his teeth Fury quietly hissed, "_Sure fooled me_."

Luckily, it seemed that none of the members of the Council heard him. If they did, they did not make mention of it. Instead, the woman sternly told Fury,

"Rumors are rumors, Director. It would be a waste of our resources if we fought against something that didn't actually exist."

Shaking his head sharply, Fury replied, "No. It would be a waste of _my _resources to send another agent in there. Hollis was one of my best trained agents I had, if she couldn't get it, then no one below her in rank can."

"Then send Agent Romanoff. She taught Agent Hollis, did she not?"

Fury stiffened at the suggestion his voice was curt, "Agent Romanoff might have trained Agent Hollis, but I do not think that she is what we need for this mission –should I decide to make it one."

The man in the middle finally spoke up once more, "First off, it _will _be a mission, with or without your permission. We will override your authorization if we need to. Might I remind you that we are in a time of war, and the only way we're going to win this is full cooperation from everyone, and you are not making that a very easy thing to achieve. Secondly, I am more than certain that Agent Romanoff is more than capable to carry out this mission."

Fury stood his ground, "_First off_, sir, it will not be a mission, as the spies in the spy division do not answer to you –they have never had to and just because we are in a war, that does not change things. You know that. It's in the contracts they sign. _Secondly_, Agent Romanoff has far closer ties to the lost agent than necessary. She'd only be a liability if we sent her there."

Slightly shocked at the forceful reply he'd gotten the man in the middle was quiet. However, the German councilman popped into the conversation again, "why would she be a liability? She is a trained spy, is she not? She knows not to let her personal attachments get in the way of her work, does she not?"

Pulling his lips into a terse line and offered the screens a look that lacked all amusement, Fury's voice lit up with an annoyed tone, "she would be a liability because she shares a close bond with the lost agent that she refuses to accept and push away. While she would know that her primary job would be to confirm the rumors, it would constantly be in the back of her mind to search for Agent Hollis. Even if she did not realize it, she would be thinking about it. While she might not act on it, it would impair her decisions and we could potentially end up with a second failed mission on her hands. I don't know about you, but I would rather _not_ have to experience the disappointment of not having something go our way once again."

The four shadowed figured stared down at the stubborn Director for a quiet moment. The silence in the room thickened before finally the man in the middle leaned forward, making some of his features clear to Fury, and forcefully said, "then find another agent for the mission."

Shaking his head again, Fury argued, "_No._ I am not jumping to try to prove something that's probably already happened. You are all being far too reactive. If it's in the papers, chances are Erik Sunderland put them there to cause just what's happening now: confusion and panic. You might all be willing to write him off as some crazy German that believes in magic, but I believe that what was said in the papers about his plans are true. In fact, I believe that we've wasted time arguing about it when we could be preparing to defend against it."

"Do what needs to be done to organize another mission, Fury."

For as much as he wanted to continue to argue, that was the last words spoken between the group of people as the screens suddenly went dark, leaving him standing alone in the room. Taking a step back, he gripped the edge of the table within the room and brought a hand to his face. Dragging it downwards he sighed. There was no way in hell he was going to risk another mission. Having already made the decision to simply live and let live and accept the fact that Tegan was gone and that HADES had the Tesseract, he planned to inform the weaponries under S.H.I.E.L.D control to begin testing phase three weapons in preparation to send them out to the front line. However, as he turned to leave, the doors of the room burst open and the group of Avengers streamed in.

With Bruce, Steve, and Clint practically scrabbling at Natasha to keep her from flinging herself at Fury, Tony hung back and leaned lazily against the frame of the doors, watching with an amused expression as Natasha demanded,

"Why isn't anyone forming a plan to get Tegan back?"

Fury stared at the angry red headed woman for a quiet moment before sighing, "because 'rescue' was not a part of Agent Hollis' mission. You know that as well as I. You have no right to be angry over the protocol."

"I have every right to be angry! Since when did we not provide back up for agents going into tough situations?"

Fury's voice raised to a sharp shout, "since we entered into a third world war, Romanoff! We do not have the time or the resources to go chasing after every agent or soldier lost in combat! Might I remind you that the United Forces are not winning the war? We, of all involved parties, do not have many more lives to spare! Now suck it up and deal with it, OK?"

Natasha was hardly the type to get emotional over anything. The closest to desperate she'd gotten was when Clint had been taken by Loki, but even then her rock hard resolve had managed to stay intact. Why Tegan's disappearance had rocked her so deeply, she wasn't even sure. All she knew was that years of suppressed emotions broke past her barriers and poured out at a rate she could not control. Gritting her teeth, she stomped her foot the way an angered five year old would and angrily replied,

"You and I both know that if Steve or Thor, or Tony got caught behind the lines we'd be tearing everyone apart to get them back!"

Tony, from the back of the room, lazily piped up, "please don't drag me into your delusions."

Turning back to glare at Tony, Natasha barked, "shut up and let me use you as an example!"

Tony only shot her a distasteful look, however she maintained a furious eye contact with him for a few more minutes before she turned back to Fury and almost begged, "please, just let me go try to find her."

Fury shook his head and stood his ground against her, "no, Natasha. Tegan knew the consequences of failure."

"But I know she didn't just fail!"

"Clearly she did; she didn't make it out in time to meet up with her connecting flight. That is a _failed_ mission. Nothing was completed. We didn't learn what we wanted to, she didn't come back. End of story."

"She would do the same for me if I were in her place!"

"Would she?"

Director and agent glared at each other for a moment as Natasha clearly thought about whether or not Tegan would be so keen on getting Natasha back. After a few minutes of quiet consideration, she sharply nodded,

"Yeah, I think she would."

Natasha had the privilege of knowing Tegan before she had formed her icy exterior. She knew that there was someone under there with a slight bit of remaining humanity. Sighting heavily Natasha said,

"Please? Just let me go. If I don't come out, then obviously I don't deserve to get back up…but I put her up to this mission. In all honesty, it should have been me in her place."

Fury's hard gaze softened slightly as he said, "beating yourself up over a failed mission will not bring her back, nor will it convince me that there's even anything left to save."

Having wrapped his hand around her upper arm as they'd entered the room, Steve felt Natasha finally relax and he loosened his grip from her and warily put his hand down after determining that she was no longer at a risk of potentially clawing Fury's other eye out if he refused to let her go retrieve her friend. Natasha rubbed her face and pointed out,

"After all the money that S.H.I.E.L.D put into Tegan, you'd think that you'd at least want your pet project back."

This seemed to cause Fury's softened expression to harden back up as he snapped, "there are plenty others from the experiment like her."

Narrowing her eyes, Natasha sharply hissed, "no there's not. You destroyed the other subjects."

Everyone in the room seemed to tense up at this, but in the silence, a new voice filled the quiet. The screens that had once hosted the shadowed figures of the Council now sported a familiar blond haired, blue eyed man with a malicious smile curling up the corners of his mouth. From the speakers in every room of the Helicarrier came a familiar, cold German voice as Erik Sunderland greeted his audience,

"Good evening, S.H.I.E.L.D."

**Author's Notes: **DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN. Erik, what are you doing on the S.H.I.E.L.D communications systems you crazy bastard? GET OFF OF THERE. Yeah, so. This is definitely the shortest chapter in the story so far…and with good reason. This bitch fought me the entire way. There's just not a lot to expand on when you're arguing about why you can't send agents in to save Tegan. I also don't really know Fury as a character very well, but I tried to get him down! And I'm aware that Natasha's probably a bit out of character here, but if she wasn't going to fight to get someone to bring Tegan back, then no one was…because everyone else hates her stupid guts and her partner, Reece, has no important opinion on anything. He's just her babysitter. I swear to God that Steve finally makes his major debut in the story in the next chapter! And welcome to the story ride, **aubrey1**, thank you so much for the review! I'm glad that you've found the story to be entertaining so far~ Does she get to kick Erik's ass? _Maybe_ ;D We'll have to see if she gets out of there first, right? And you'll find that I do tend to update pretty quickly, so hopefully I don't keep you waiting too long, lol. Of course, as always I thank everyone that adds this story to their alerts/favorites it/etc!

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	7. I failed you

CHAPTER SEVEN

_I failed you_

For as loud and busy as the Helicarrier was, it was like the entire ship was holding their breath. Silence permeated every room, every corner, every hallway. There was not a single person doing what they were supposed to be doing. Everyone was rigid with surprise, and for some the cold black hand of fear gripped their throats with long, thin fingers. The leader of HADES and glue to the Central Forces had been someone that, to the majority of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents, was more of an 'out of sight out of mind' kind of thing. They all knew he was there, but the threat that he posed diminished when they forced him out of their conscience, and to have his voice curling around everyone like a thin vapor of smoke was a very real reminder that you can only ignore someone for so long before they bring up the fact that they are still here. He was the monster under every child's bed, the anticipation around every corner, the shadow on the wall. He was here to stay, and no amount of wishing could make him go away.

Truthfully, Erik had not thought to hack into the communications systems when Tegan first stumbled into his grasp. He'd simply had her as his own little toy and he was content. The idea came to mind when a HADES soldier brought the discarded backpack that Tegan had thrown out of the van at the beginning of her mission. There wasn't much left in it as she'd tacked most everything onto her weapons belt. What she'd failed to remember to grab was her communicator. Though it was only good for sound, Erik had spent a good portion of his day tinkering with it and reprogramming it to match the signal of the Helicarrier's monitors and sound system. He had some choice words to say to Nick Fury and the Avengers, and he wanted to make sure that everyone heard him loud and clear.

Erik liked an audience, which was one thing that had been with him even before he struck the match that lit the fire of the third world war. He relished in the knowledge that every eye and every ear on the Helicarrier would be tuned into him. He knew that not a single person could breathe easy with his voice ringing off the metal walls of the impressive ship. While he'd already had the world for his addressees more than once, the idea of the smaller more personal crowd excited him. He knew that by now they knew he had Tegan. He knew that they knew the stakes of this war were about to be raised higher; and that's what made this all so fun. For the most part he waged his war out of vindictive desire, but from time to time he indulged in a light hearted, dark mannered frivolity. Everyone needed to have a bit of fun, and Erik's heart fluttered excitedly with the thought of the looks of horror that undoubtedly shadowed every single face of every singled S.H.I.E.L.D agent that could hear him right now.

His malicious grin almost had a layer of honesty to it, as if he was truly happy to be doing what he was doing right now. He stood just off to the side of the table that contained a barely awake Tegan, skillfully making sure that she was within arm's reach but constantly out of the camera's view. Her chest rose and fell slowly, and her eyes barely opened –but there was no doubt that she was fearfully aware of Erik's whereabouts. Every time he shifted how he was standing, every loud intake of breath, every sniffle, sneeze, cough, and word that came from him she twitched in anticipation. Her entire body ached, all she wanted was for him to cut her head off and be done with it; but she knew that Erik was in this for the long haul. While the fire within her soul had been frozen by the cool blade of Erik's knife, deep down she fought to find the desire to hate him, to want nothing more than to run a knife through his ribcage, cut his heart out and feed it to his mother. If she made it out of this, that is.

Natasha's heart stopped in her chest and the blood in her veins withered away as she stood stock still, quietly staring at the face of the enemy on the screens before them. She felt like time had stopped, a chilled numbness spread down from the top of her head, trickling all the way down to her toes. She was no longer aware of anyone or anything around her, save for the blond haired man on the screens above them. Green eyes grew wide with surprise. For a moment, she teetered dangerously on her feet; but she quickly gathered control of herself and the block she'd put up on the world around her fell away. Natasha finally was able to take note that even Tony had finally walked into the room, and every single person around her was looking at the televisions. From the corner of her eye, she reveled secretly in the look of astonishment that had crept its way onto Fury's face. While Erik's present actions did not prove that Tegan was still alive, the flicker of hope flared up into a blaze of optimism. Involuntarily, she shivered as Erik (after perhaps deciding he had everyone's attention) calmly spoke to the group of people within the room,

"I'm so glad that I've caught everyone together. Not that I'm entirely aware as to why you are all in the conference room, but I'm glad you're near one another none the less. I would have made contact sooner, but I've been a little busy lately; as you're all aware I believe. I'm a little upset I did not get to personally tell you all myself what I've been up to, but I suppose I cannot complain that I didn't have to do it myself. It's given me more time to spend with one of my special guests. She arrived here yesterday, you know? I'm certain you're missing your lab rat, Fury. I must say that all the hard work you've put into her is paying off! She's still alive, and for all the blood loss…well, she should be dead, and-," Erik's voice suddenly took a turn for the worse as he hissed angrily, "_don't leave_, Director."

In the middle of Erik's monologue, Fury had started towards the door, his head low and talking quietly to someone on through the device in his ear. He stopped and slowly turned back to the screens, looking up at the man he said, "I'm sorry, you were busy babbling about shit I don't have time to listen to. As _you_ are aware, I'm sure, I have plenty of other things to be doing than sitting around listening to you toot your own damn horn about all the fantastic things you've been up to."

Though a shadow of anger had crossed his face before, the expression was gone as Erik smiled and laughed heartily; almost warmly and in the way a friend would laugh at another friend's joke. His voice lost the malice it had so briefly contained before as he lightly said,

"Well, I'm certain that you would love nothing more than to go and shut me down and to regain control of your communications, which is what I know you were going to go do, but I have something to tell you. So please, come back over to where you were standing, or maybe even have a seat at the table. I want you to be comfortable for this."

Fury stood still for a moment, judging whether or not it was actually going to be worth his time to stay and listen to whatever bullshit Erik had to say, but after glancing around at the rest of the team that seemed to be rooted to where they stood, he heaved a sigh and dropped his hand from the handle of the door and stiffly made his way back to one of the chairs that lined the glass and mahogany table. Swiveling around in his seat to get a full view of the four screens that had the same thing on them, he waved his hand and sharply said, "_please_, continue on with what you had to say."

Erik smiled wider and shook his head. His tone was mocking as he said, "no, no! I want you to have the utmost comfort. Would you like a blanket, a glass of water?"

Fury growled angrily at the stalling tactics of the German man, "I'll get up and leave right now if you don't spit out what you are so anxious to tell me."

Erik chuckled and sinisterly said, "alright."

The blond man shifted how he was standing, as if grabbing for something just off the screens. For a moment, something shiny and presumably metal flashed across the screens. His eyes never left the camera as he leaned over. Off frame, the sounds of desperate whimpering and begging filled the silence like a gentle spring breeze whistling through trees. Erik's grin grew malevolent as he make a sharp movement towards whatever was off screen. The sounds of tortured screams took the place of the begging. Tegan's agony reverberated off of the walls in the Helicarrier. Her cry was long and drawn out, slightly hoarse perhaps from repeated cries like the one she had just let loose. Erik's gleeful laugh could barely be heard above the screeching. His arm continued to move off frame as he pierced Tegan in the side over and over again, provoking a scream louder than the last with each subsequent stab. Natasha's hand flew to her mouth as she stuck her fist between her teeth and bit down to avoid saying something that she would later regret saying. While at first she'd been hoping that Tegan was alive, now that she had the reality of what had become of her friend, she wished that the agent had met a swift death as opposed to the long and drawn out agony she was being faced with now. Talking over the sounds of Tegan's cries, Erik caught sight of the pasty faces stricken with horrified surprise before him and happily spoke,

"Her resilience is perhaps the most astonishing aspect about her, Fury! I thought I knew what you were doing in your labs at S.H.I.E.L.D, but _this_ is far more than I would have ever expected."

He finally dropped his arm, and the sound of something hitting the concrete was lost beneath the dying whimpers of Tegan as he took a step back. No longer as close to the camera that broadcasted his message and torture to the entirety of the ship, more of his lanky body came into view. His white long sleeve shirt had been rolled up to his elbows and darker splatters of older blood darkened the rims of his cuffs. On his bare arms glistened patches of newer blood. Natasha could feel herself going numb again, but she fought for control over herself as Erik went on to run a bloody hand through his hair and say,

"So here's the deal, Fury. I know what an investment this woman is to you. I know that you've put a lot of time, thought, and money into her, and I suppose we can go ahead and say that she's an important aspect to S.H.I.E.L.D, not that I'm entirely sure _why_ you are so taken by her. But I suppose we can go ahead and say that you might do anything to get her back even though you have probably spent a good portion of your day saying that you don't need her," he clapped his hands together happily, "so! What I'm going to do is offer you a deal, would you like to hear my deal?"

While Fury prepared himself to deny Erik's deal without having even heard it, Natasha hastily blurted out, "yes!"

Erik's icy gaze slid over to where Natasha stood, his warm smile turned into a knowing smirk as he addressed her, "you have been so shockingly quiet, Agent Romanoff! I forgot you were in here. Well, you seem eager to get her back, don't you? Is this a hint of sentiment and care that I'm seeing in the stone heart of the famous Black Widow? I'm honored to have provoked such a reaction from you! While I can see that you would perhaps do more than anyone in this room to get the lab rat back, I must unfortunately inform you that my deal applies to Fury and no one else."

Natasha sunk back slightly as he addressed her and flicked her head over her shoulder to glare at Fury, as if daring him to do anything but let Erik make his proposition. Fury let his one-eyed gaze slide over to where Natasha stood. He looked at her for a long moment before rubbing his face and sighing. He waved a hand at Erik once more and dully said, "I'd love to hear what you have up your bloody sleeve, Sunderland."

Erik's smirk disappeared and was replaced once more with his happy and warm smile and he leaned against the black wall behind him,

"So let us just go ahead and say that you want her back, yes? It'll make my offer so much easier to understand. Under no normal circumstance would I be willing to let her go, but I would be happy to make a trade. Let's say, her freedom for your withdrawal in the war. Along with your resignation from the fight, you'll hand over all remaining confiscated HYDRA weapons to HADES and the Central Forces, and then you will sit back and let those that truly deserve to win-," Fury opened his mouth to blatantly oppose this ridiculous and outlandish but Erik quickly cut him off and raised an impatient finger while clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, "no, no. I don't want an immediate answer. I want you to sleep on it, give you time to think it over. After all, no one really makes a decent decision off of impulse, am I right? I will give you three days to answer; and should you not answer in the way that I want…then, well. Everyone on the Helicarrier will get a front row seat to the execution of Miss Tegan Hollis! Doesn't that sound exciting? You will all sit and obediently watch the effects of your refusal to follow directions as I slowly cut into her flesh and strip her down to the bone. Maybe I'll even box her remains up in a cute little package and send them to you as a gift when I'm through with her. And then, after that, I will launch my final attack and one way or another, I will win this war. So let me know how many lives you're willing to risk. The choice here is to waste one life or waste a million. Personally, I don't think that it should be that hard of a choice, but you seem to be a bit confused with your priorities. And don't bother changing the security on your communications, because we'll just break right through it again."

Before anyone could say anything else to Erik, the screens suddenly went dark. Fury shook his head and turned his chair back around and started to stand while saying,

"Well that was a nice waste of my time. You can all go back to whatever you were doing before you came here, because I am _not_ negotiating with the crazy German."

Everyone didn't dare move or say anything; that is until Natasha turned and walked over to where Fury sat, slamming a forceful fist into the glass she demanded, "you _have_ to send a rescue party to her location right now!"

Fury lifted a curious eyebrow and shook his head, "I'm really beginning to think that you are hard of hearing, Agent Romanoff. I already told you that I am not sending anyone out there to risk losing someone else."

Natasha shook her head and angrily replied, "you heard him! One life or a million lives! Is that what you want? If we get Tegan back, I bet that she knows exactly what he's planned. He's already told us quite a bit in just that short amount of time and chances are he's told her much more under the assumption that she's not getting out of there! Please!"

Fury stared at her with a curious look for a long time before shaking his head, "I cannot believe that you are so willing to put such stock into the words of a man we already know to be a compulsive liar with little sanity left. For all we know, he could be bluffing. After all, how can you guarantee that he'll give Tegan back in the delusional event that I agree to his terms? He's not exactly been playing fair this entire time."

Natasha angrily grit her teeth and hissed, "then I'll go get her myself."

Fully standing to tower over her in her slightly crouched position, Fury snarled back at her, "no you will not!"

Narrowing her eyes, Natasha tilted her chin up and challenged, "try me."

The two stared at each other for a while, gauging the seriousness of the other. Natasha was certain that Fury knew that there was no way in heaven or hell that she was going to back down from this and that she was going to continue fighting the matter until she got what she wanted. Whether or not Fury would cave to her, she was not sure. Finally, however, he sighed heavily and sank back down into his chair and motioned for everyone to sit as well. Obediently, the group took their usual seats and leaned into the table to look at Fury. Natasha reluctantly sat as well, but did not take her gaze off of Fury. As everyone seated themselves, Fury stood and strode back to the head of the table and turned to look at everyone before quietly asking Natasha, "you're not going to let this go, are you?" He pulled his lips into a terse line as she vigorously shook his head. Sighing he said,

"Fine. We will create a mission for two of you to go to the last known location of Agent Hollis. There, you will track her down to the compound. If you can, you will get inside, retrieve her, and come back out. You will not do anything more or less than that. Understood?"

Natasha nodded vigorously and stood, but Fury quickly said, "you're not going alone, Agent Romanoff," turning to where Steve sat (not entirely focused on the conversation going on) he said, "Rogers. From what I remember reading in your file and hearing from Coulson over and over, you've actually had a bit of experience with retrieving lost soldiers behind enemy lines. I'd like to put you up to the task with Natasha."

Having not expected to be called on, Steve sat up rigidly in his seat. Of all the people in the group, he would have not figured that he would be chosen for this mission; after all it was no secret that he and Tegan would rather be on opposite ends of the world than in the same room. But Steve quickly understood that this was not a mission to bring his own personal feelings into, and he certainly wasn't going to wish the kind of fate that assuredly awaited Tegan should they not get her back upon anyone, even if that person would much rather stick an ice pick in his eye than be saved by him. Nodding stiffly he said with little amusement,

"Yeah, I've got a bit of 'experience', if you want to put it like that"

Tony, from the back of the table, snickered, but was cut off as Fury glared at him. With his gaze lingering on Tony for a minute, Fury sighed once more and said,

"Good. You and Natasha will have less than two hours to prepare. I want to see you both in the hangar at seven. _Don't be late_."

With that, everyone was dismissed. However, Steve and Natasha stayed behind as the room emptied. Relief shone in her eyes as she turned to Steve and said, "I know you don't like her, but we really need her."

Steve clenched his jaw and shook his head, "I don't think we _really_ need her, but I'm not going to turn down a mission just because it's for someone that we all know would rather me not have anything to do with her rescue."

Natasha offered him a weak smile and a small thanks before leaving Steve completely alone in the dim room. He stood quietly wondering whether or not this mission, should it go through and be successful, would change things between him and Tegan.

**Author's Notes: **WELL. This update came a bit late...because I was totally distracted and had a hard time getting into this chapter. Not going to lie, it's kind of a filler, just setting up what's going to happen in the next couple of chapters. Thank you **littledhampir13** for the reviews, and I think that it's totally cool that you reviewed the story twice ;D And you know what? I totally heard Achmed's voice in my head when I wrote that yesterday xD So you're not alone! Erikmed (because I like putting names together~) might end up breaking T's spirit, but we'll see won't we! And you're brave for threatening Fury (even playfully!) lol. And **Melibells**, thanks for the review (again c:), yes I'm a bit of a speed writer ;D Erik is a total creep, completely and totally. AND THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT! Tony having a change of heart towards Tegan? _No_. Lol. I made it so that their personalities clash the entire time because Tony bickering with anyone is fun. AMIRTE! I know I am. ANYWHOOOOO, thanks you guys for reviewing, and reading and adding to your alerts, chapter eight will come sometime tonight! :D

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	8. But you left me here alone

CHAPTER EIGHT

_But you left me here alone_

Bullies; they were the reason that Steve was where he was today. It'd never been the lure of being the stronger man, or the man with the popularity and the ability to have girls hanging off his arms begging him for just a sliver of his attention that had called to him those seventy years ago. While he indulged in the strange new celebrity status that'd been forced upon him he was, at heart, the defender of the innocent and the guy that would happily shut down the oppressors of those who do not deserve to be oppressed time and time again. Erik could call himself a god all he wanted. He could write a million speeches about how his way of thinking was the only way, but to Steve –and hopefully to the rest of the world- he would always just be a man with no self esteem that stumbled upon the right amount of power and instead of using it in a way that could further himself in a way that was helpful to everyone, he took it and ran away with it like a wild animal. He obeyed no natural laws and defied everything that was good. He took in his hands things that were beautiful and corrupted them into something unrecognizable. He twisted every little truth into a lie and he did not care what costs came with meeting the outlandish demands of his own deranged personal agenda.

And therefore, he was high on Steve's list of 'do not respect', along with Schmidt and many other delusional and undeserving world powers that he, in his time as Captain America, had helped bring to justice regardless of his own personal cost to make it happen. Maybe if Erik had taken his failures as a S.H.I.E.L.D agent and turned it into something good, something positive, then perhaps Steve could have found the forgiveness within himself to accept the man –but what he was doing was unacceptable. Sure, Tegan was a calloused, cantankerous old crow, but she was in need of help and as always he was prepared to, in spite of his own private feelings, rise to the task of bringing the cruelty to an end. The longer he reminisced on it, the more he came to realize that he truly didn't care if Tegan was grateful for the help if they got her out of there alive or not; because it would be his own personal gratitude to know that he'd ended someone's unnecessary reign of terror. It honestly did not matter if she even said 'thank you', he was not in this for her, but in it to perhaps take a step towards ending the reign of terror that drove the machine of the third world war. He was a captain, he was a soldier, but war was never something that he craved. Steve never looked for a fight; he was just always ready to defend the peaceful and the innocent whenever the clash of wills finally came.

In all honesty, he did not need the full time to prepare that he'd been given. He was a simple kind of guy, all he ever truly required was his shield and his suit and he was pretty much set. Weapons certainly weren't his main choice of defense, but he'd looped one around his waist simply for posterity. After all, he _was_ making an incursion into enemy territory full of people that probably, for the most part, rather see him dead than happily alive and without a scratch on his body. That, and from what he understood the weapons that HADES now had at their disposal were much akin to the horrifying arsenal that HYDRA had wielded back in the second world war. There, he'd seen the effects of the powerful arms first hand. If that was what he was going up against, it probably wouldn't hurt to have a little fire power of his own. Though, he was certain that Natasha was going to be bringing far more than he was into this battle; so it wasn't like he was completely weaponless. Not to mention the edge of his shield had proved time and time again to be just an effective weapon when he needed it to be. There was probably some irony in there about how a tool to protect could equally be turned into a tool to destroy, but he didn't have the time or the desire to dwell on the paradoxical double standard of his beloved shield.

It had probably only been an hour since they'd been dismissed from the meeting room, and though he and Natasha had been given little under two hours to prepare, he was already geared up and prepared to go. He was in full outfit; the only thing that was different was the bulky winter jacket that he had grabbed. Knowing his destination and taking in account the time of year, he had quickly decided that he preferred to not have frostbite anywhere and maintaining a constant core body temperature would probably be of use to him. While the cold never really bothered Steve anymore in the way that it used to, it still proved to be a slight nuisance. Sure, he could survive longer in the elements than anyone, but that didn't mean he couldn't be annoyed by them; and for this mission he'd need all of his attention.

With his remaining time, he simply laid on his bed with his hands resting behind his head, gazing up at the dull grey ceiling above him. As his thoughts always did when it was stagnant without direction, his mind wandered to suppressed topics like Bucky. Silly things like where his friend would be today if he'd just managed to reach out far enough to grab him quicker. Would Bucky be a grandfather? Old and grey with a wisdom that no one else would know? Steve smiled at the thought. Then finally he brought himself to wonder what had happened to Peggy. He'd asked on multiple occasions, begging to know her fate; but it seemed like no one could give him a straight answer. For the most part he'd been told that she left S.H.I.E.L.D not long after he'd disappeared, something about her insatiable desire to find him having consumed her and rendered her completely obsessed. Then other times he heard that she'd moved on and had a family of her own. Either way, each answer struck a blow to his tender heart. He did not want to think that in his absence she'd found love, but he also did not want to find that she lived a miserable and lonely life full simply due to her devastating dedication to not give up on him.

Reluctantly pulling himself from his thoughts, he raised his wrist up to the light and glanced at the time. 6:44 pm; it was close enough to seven that if he started towards the hangar now he'd get there just a little early. Rolling off his bed, he stood and stretched and reached over to grab his shield and attached its removable strap and threw it over his head to rest it across his back. Pulling the jacket around his muscled form even tighter, he quietly left his room. As he closed his door and turned around, he jumped slightly in surprise as he discovered a fairly annoyed looking Natasha before him. He studied her for a moment and realized that she was not in her fully prepared gear; her weapons belt was missing and she wore the look of a dejected puppy. She didn't even need to say anything to Steve for him to realize what had happened, and as he opened his mouth to say something, Natasha cut in angrily,

"Can you believe that Fury took me off the mission just because of my close ties with Tegan?"

Steve furrowed his brow for a moment and shrugged, draping a friendly arm around Natasha's shoulders, he directed her down the hallway as he still had somewhere to be and for as much as he knew, he was still assigned to the mission. Shortening his stride to match hers he soothingly replied,

"Maybe it was for the best, don't you think? You're still…pretty worked up about all of this. Though, I know where you're coming from. It's hard to just sit back and accept everything when you've got a close friend in a place where Tegan's at."

Natasha drooped down in his grasp, clearly upset by the fact that she'd been pulled out, and while Steve had expected her to already be fighting more, he considered that perhaps she'd already come to terms with the fact that she was actually far too close to their target and that the only way this was all going to go over smoothly was if she removed herself from the picture. Still, Steve could feel her tense with worry and he dropped his arm from her shoulders and walked a little in front of her before turning around and placing his hands on her shoulders as he looked down at her with a serious gaze,

"Hey, I'll get her back. You know that, right?"

Natasha forced a smile and shook her head, "yeah, I know."

Offering her a small smile Steve said, "you don't sound too convinced. What? You think that I can't?"

Natasha laughed a little at this and simply replied, "you know it's not that, Steve. It's just that I'd really feel so much better if I was there doing it. I put her up to this mission; it should be me that's risking my life."

Patting her shoulder and finally turning to continue to walk through the halls again, encouraging Natasha to keep up with him as he did so, he walked with a pep to his step that'd been absent just a few seconds before. The last thing he wanted was to leave with Natasha feeling like this, and it was not uncommon for him to become the cheerleader of the team when morale was low. His voice, however, was as calming as it had been before,

"Well, you know that Fury took you out of it as a future precaution for the entirety of the mission. Not that I'm saying that you'd let me down or anything, but you're kind of distracted –you should know better than most people that a distraction on a mission is what makes the difference between a successful mission and a failed mission. Trust me, I wouldn't want to have anyone else with me on this, but maybe it's for the best that you're not going."

Natasha's step slowed as she looked up at him and sighed before saying, "you know I'll kill you if you don't get her back."

Smiling slightly at the final emergence of the Natasha he knew he chuckled and said, "I gathered that, but a bit of confidence in me will probably get you a long way."

Looking up at him she smiled softly, "oh I have the utmost confidence in the world for you. I just wanted to make it clear."

The two laughed lightly together for a moment –chuckling in a way that almost made them forget that outside the heavily fortified walls of the Helicarrier, a war raged on with little notice of what time or day it was. For a moment, they forgot the seriousness of the situation that lay ahead for him. Of course, the second their chagrin died down, the dread between the two settled back in like a heavy fog across a lake. For what was mostly the remainder of the walk from the rooms to where the hangar was, they were quiet. Save for when Natasha asked a curious question,

"I read your file, and everyone knows the story…but how did you feel when you first thought that your friend was gone. You know, before you went and saved him."

Steve pondered this for a moment and said, "disbelief. I didn't want to accept the fact that he was gone, so I didn't. And I gotta say I'm pretty glad I went on my gut instinct rather than just live and let live. It's funny, people tell me from time to time that my blind faith in the better outcomes is a flaw, but I have a hard time understanding that. After all, a little optimism goes a long way," he paused a moment before looking at Natasha out of the corner of his eye and saying, "and I'll tell you know that you did the right thing. Giving up the fight is never the answer."

Judging by the pleased smile that spread across her face, Steve gathered that had been the answer she was looking for; the clarification that it was ok to feel the way she did. Finally, the two reached the doors that led into the hangar and Steve paused to turn to Natasha and found that it was his turn to ask a question, "so do you know who they put in your place?"

While he had not minded asking her question earlier, it seemed that she was rather annoyed by the subject. She shifted angrily and crossed her arms before curtly replying, "yeah. Some guy Clint's been working with for the last couple of years. Word has it that he's pretty good. So I _guess_ you've got someone decent with you."

Steve mulled her answer over quietly for a second before looking down on Natasha and shrugging off her cold attitude, "well, if you've given him the seal of approval, then I guess I've got someone good."

"I didn't give him a seal of approval."

Steve smiled at this, "it was close enough to one. Anyway, I think I've got a plane to catch."

He offered her a quick salute and a hand shake which she turned into a hug as she fell forward to wrap her arm around his torso. Looking up at him she hissed once more through gritted teeth, "if you don't bring her back, I'll probably not talk to you for a week."

Still not taking her threats seriously he only smiled and pried her off of him before waving at her as he pushed through the doors of the hangar. The second he did, a sharp, familiar voice greeted him,

"I would hate to have kept you from heartfelt goodbyes, Rogers."

Steve simply shook his head at this and lost all friendly tone in his voice as he spoke in the way any good soldier would speak, "no sir."

Fury narrowed his eye at Steve as he approached and coldly said, "good," he turned to a man that oddly looked like he could be Clint's twin except taller and with lighter blond hair and strange golden eyes, "this is Agent Tristan Mills. He's been chosen as Agent Romanoff's replacement for the mission."

Steve offered the man a polite nod and stuck out his hand in greeting. The two exchanged pleasantries and established a first name basis. However, their attention was drawn back to Fury as he handed them small silver boxes that resembled tiny cigarette cases with buttons and explained,

"These are your locators. You will use them to alert pilots in the area to retrieve you three when you have gotten clear of the headquarters by at least six miles."

The two men reached out to grab the small, strange devices and pocketed them quickly as Steve asked,

"So do we have an exact location on where this compound is? Did you manage to get anything from the signal that Erik created when he hacked the communications systems earlier?"

Fury nodded at this, "yes. While he was busy spinning golden-gilded lies, I had our analysts tracking the signal. We managed to get an exact GPS location and even managed to get a satellite picture and rough blueprint of the compound. You'll find all of the information regarding to where this place exactly is on the plane," he fell quiet for a moment as he let this sink in before continuing, "unlike with Agent Hollis' mission, we will be dropping you off basically at the doorstep of the headquarters –this is a far riskier move, but it will save you both time. Now, if you do not have any further questions, then it is time for you two to leave."

Looking between each other, it seemed that Tristan and Steve did not have much more to ask, though both were eager to go. They exchanged curt goodbyes with Fury before boarding the small personal jet. The majority of the thirteen hour flight was spent with the two discussing plans of action, memorizing the rough layout of the building and creating back up plans. Once or twice, the two dozed off, but found that their minds and bodies were far too restless to allow themselves to fully relax. When they were not talking of plans and trying to force themselves to sleep, they talked about their origins. Steve knew practically nothing about the man he'd just met a few hours ago and did his best to get to know him. He asked simple questions that would hopefully not trigger serious emotional reactions and quickly learned that it seemed that Clint had rubbed off a great deal onto Tristan. Clint was not a man of many words and rather relied on his actions and facial expressions to do the job that talking could not; and it seemed that Tristan was the same way.

Back and forth, the two played a mind-numbing game of twenty questions, however at some point over France, Steve informed his new partner that he was going to try to sleep for a little bit. Luckily it seemed that Tristan was done talking as well, and the two settled on opposite corners of the plane. With Tristan at the back and Steve strapped securely in the front, he leaned his head against the wall of the plane that hummed quietly beneath them and tried to calm himself. He might not go looking for a fight, but he was excited to finally be brought to the action. Months of sitting behind the lines doing silly little morale-boosting battles that hardly amounted to anything in the war had driven him (and everyone else on the Avengers team) mad. They were all soldiers and in the case of a war, they all felt that they had the equal right to fight, but Fury had been determined to keep them locked up in the event that they became of serious need to him. It frustrated Steve to no end. He'd accepted being put into the S.S.R seventy years ago because he didn't want to be left out of the fight, and now he found it hard to sit back and let everyone else lay down their lives.

Silence, save for the roar of the engines of the plane, wrapped itself like a thick blanket around the cab of the plane. For the most part, Steve drifted in and out of sleep, occasionally waking up long enough to look anxiously out the window to try to determine where they were. Upon his final check, the vast white expanse of a land unknown to him must mean that they had made it to Russia. However, the second he reached around to say something to Tristan, the plane rocked violently and a deafening boom made his ears ring. Looking around to where Tristan had been sleeping to make sure he was ok, Steve felt a little numbed to see that the back half of the plane was completely missing. Stretching up in panic he called out Tristan's name, though he knew that there was no point. Fumbling with the buckle on his seat belt, he quickly looked outside the window and, with great dismay, realized that the wing had also been shot.

All around the plane a flurry of blue lights, presumably from the new weapons created from the Tesseract that everyone now assumed Erik had, lit up the sky around them. He called to the pilot to ask what was going on and above the sound of booming and the shaking of the distressed plane he barely caught the pilot explaining that the defenses around the headquarters had increased –something that S.H.I.E.L.D had not expected- and that they were literally being shot out of the sky. Steve worriedly looked back out the window and to his horror he realized that the plane was losing altitude at an alarming rate. The ground was quickly rising up to meet them. A thick black smoke was beginning to crowd the cabin and the pressure in the air dropped, making his ears crackle painfully. Out of instinct, Steve realized that he had no better hope of surviving falling from the sky than to brace for the impact that was sure to come as the plane spun wildly out of control. As he looked out the window again and again he couldn't help but think how much he really hated breaking bones.

**Author's Notes: **Oh man, I am so sorry that this has come so late! I got super distracted earlier and before that I was busy being social. But hey, better late than never, am I right? WELL. This was my first time taking on Steve as a character, I tried my best. I promise that I'll get better with him xD Thank you so much for your constantly in-depth reviews, **Melibells**! I gotta say that I definitely always look forward to you and your reviews; and yeah, I figured that Steve wouldn't be too happy that someone on the home team wasn't getting the best card of fate x3 AS FOR TONY…you're right! xD And I definitely think that I've been so focused on establishing two characters that have literally no established background, that I have certainly let everyone else slide, but not for long! Thank you for the pointer~ Yes, **littledhampir13**, he's a pretty sick fuck. But you can't have a war without a crazy guy, right? And yes, your threat must have totally worked ;D And **Nicole**, I'm sorry that Tegan doesn't strike you as an interesting character, and I've actually made her bitchiness forced for a reason that will slowly be unveiled as the story unfolds. I do certainly hope that you read on from chapter one, as I only had a certain amount of time to show her, and she does have a few more nuts and bolts to her than just her assy ways. Of course, I also understand that a 'strong' character like her is not for everyone c: AAASSS ALWAYS, thanks everyone for reviewing, reading, and adding to your alerts!

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	9. Just don't hate me

CHAPTER NINE

_Just don't hate me_

The plane dropped quickly from the sky in a spiral of black smoke and loose parts, raining down on the icy land below. Steve gripped the arm to the seat he'd been strapped to with his other hand braced against the wall of the plane, the most he could hope for was for the plane to land on its belly as opposed to its side. For the most part, Steve never really minded falling out of the sky –but only because most of the time he had a parachute strapped to his back and he was in control of what was happening, here trapped in the useless metal hull of the plane he was powerless to stop the dizzying descent of the plane. It was certainly a lot different falling dropping from the sky after having been traveling at a steady six hundred miles an hour than jumping out of the plane and falling at a constant rate. For as chaotic as things had finally turned, he felt as if the world had slowed down; allowing him to view seconds as minutes and minutes as hours. Not that this sudden slowing of time was really useful to Steve, there truly wasn't much he could do except hope for the best and pray to God that he didn't break something serious with the landing.

The strident sensation of all physical motion coming to a stop when the light-weight metal plane met the unmovable force of the solid earth shook every bone in Steve's body. The impact was enough to jar him loose from where he'd wedged himself. Wildly and out of control, he tumbled through the spinning wreckage that suddenly began to feel very hot beneath him. Disoriented and dizzy, Steve found himself having a hard time figuring out which way was up and which way was down. He wasn't even sure if the plane was still upright. Coughing from the smoke that filled the cabin, he worriedly shouted over what sounded like the roar of a fire, calling for Tristan, calling for the pilot; but all he was answered with was the booming of something that shouldn't be near an open fire exploding. Without thinking, he ripped his shield from its place off his back and curled up in a tight ball while protectively throwing it up over his head.

Flames from the explosion of the gas tank licked at his shield as a wave of fire and smoke rolled over him like an ocean tide. Heat seared his exposed skin and he shut his blue eyes tight. Finally, the barrage of heat died down and he uncurled himself, looking around wildly to discover that he was within a metal inferno. Looking up, he noticed a gaping hole just to his left. Hissing with pain as he crawled to the crash-made exit, he took a deep, relieving breath of fresh air. Rolling from the flaming wreckage, he coughed violently as he cleared his lungs of the smoke that had already settled in. He laid in the snow, assessing his damage and staring up at the brilliant blue sky that he'd just fallen from. The smoke from the crash rose up into the air, creating a stark color difference from the crystal clear blue to the ominous black.

Even for all his optimism, Steve began to feel doubt about the eventual success of this mission; in all due fairness it's kind of hard to see the optimism in anything after haven fallen several thousand feet with no parachute. From a cut above his eyebrow, he could feel his blood pulsating. Heaving a heavy sigh he reached up to tenderly touch the fresh wound. He hardly winced at the sensation of his fingers brushing across raw and exposed flesh. While he was no Wolverine when it came to healing, his body was fairly adept at closing up minor wounds like the one that cut a jagged line across his forehead, dripping salty blood down his face and into his eyes. Pushing his hood up over his head, hissing to himself as the coarse fabric caught the tender edges of his gash; he finally managed to sit up. With a clearing head and less blurry vision, at last he was able to survey the twisted metal wreckage from which he'd just pulled himself from. Gnarled from the impact, sharp corners jutted from every angle, debris polluted the area of the crash, and the heat of the fire from within melted the snow around it revealing the permafrost layer beneath the blanket of snow; a strange brown and mottled green against the pure white.

Grabbing his shield, he placed it onto his back once more and stood. For a moment he teetered on his feet, almost falling to the side as a massive rush of blood flooded to his head. However, he steadied himself and finally the world stopped spinning. With a slight limp in his walk that disappeared with each stride, he drew around to the front of the plane. The windshields were cracked and he knew that there was no way the pilot could have survived, but for Steve there was always hope. Of course, his sinking suspicions were confirmed as he grimaced at the twisted and bloodied body that had once been a diligent S.H.I.E.L.D agent just doing his job. Steve then thought of Tristan and his heart wrenched in understanding and sympathetic agony. It was hard losing an agent, and if Clint was as close to Tristan as Natasha was to Tegan, or he was to Bucky then the news of the death of his protégé would not come well. Without a doubt, Steve would bear the news to Clint with a heavy heart. Still, for as much as he wanted to stay and dwell on all of the bad, he had a job at hand and he could no longer rely on the added help of a partner. Everything was residing on his shoulders, like Atlas cursed to hold up the weight of the world. Steve feared dropping everything and with the mission already off to a melancholy start, he already felt like he was losing grip.

Wrapping his jacket around him, he straightened up after mouthing a silent 'sorry' to the deceased pilot. The cold winter winds snapped furiously at his body like a pack of hungry stray dogs; desperate to tear at his exposed flesh. Looking around, he quickly realized that he was without any idea as to where he was. For a moment, he stood there dumbfounded and completely lost –but he soon remembered that they had been given GPS devices, maps, and a compass. The only problem with this was that they lay scattered somewhere within the smoldering remains of the plane. From the way it was looking, the fire had already begun to die down, but without a doubt there was still a very present and real danger within the downed plane. Unfortunately if Steve wanted to have any sort of slight hope in completing this mission as he had been instructed, he was going to have to go into the plane.

Reluctance wrapped around his every motion as he slowly slunk back to the hole that he'd pulled himself from. Crouching down and peering into the skewed cabin of the plane he sighed heavily with the utmost disinclination to go back into the plane, but he knew he really needed that GPS if he wanted to have even the slightest hope of finding this place. Pulling his shield back off, he tossed it into the snow and shimmied through the hole. Once inside, he crouched down and nudged bits of debris aside with his foot in an almost lackadaisical search for what he was in such desperate need of. He surveyed the overturned plane, knowing that he'd put everything back in the little box they'd been given in to ensure organization. While he knew that there was the unfortunate possibility that the box had fallen out of the plane in the chaotic, haphazard descent, he clung to the silly hope that it was still in there. Still, the box –which was the only box on the plane- proved to be the needle in the haystack. He searched every possible corner and cranny to no avail. His heart was slowly sinking past his stomach and down to his knees as the precious minutes ticked by.

Eventually, he deemed his attempts to find the container a failure and pulled himself back out from the twisted metal deathtrap. Frustrated, he grabbed his shield and angrily tossed it over onto his back once more and glared around the clearing. Looking up at the sky, he tried to get an idea of where he was standing in relevance to the sun, but he was a soldier not a boy scout. He had the best technology at his disposal in the field, and yet it was useless to him because he couldn't even figure out where it'd gone. In his defense, he did just survive an otherwise deadly plane crash, but he still couldn't help but feel angry with the sudden sour turn of events that seemed to be pleased to meet him at every turn he took. Gritting his teeth he hissed something about poor planning and began to stomp off. He practically kicked the exact box he'd been looking for a good hundred yards as he watched in slight horror and rekindled hope as it sailed through the air. Though in an odd manner, it was like something was finally going as it should and he happily raced after the box.

Skidding on his knees as he fell down in front of the box, it was like he'd found the biggest find at an archeological dig. He was no longer going to be groping around in the dark with a wet mach and hoping for the best. Eagerly, he tore the top of the box open and smiled with relief as he took note that none of the instruments inside seemed to be too terribly damaged. Reaching in and pulling out the GPS, he pressed the on button and held his breath. Having entirely expected for it to not even work –as it'd have gone with the current day's events-; he let out a pleased sigh as it turned right on. Just as it had when he'd studied it before when he first boarded the plane, it gave him his exact location relevant to the HADES headquarters.

Surprisingly, they weren't all that far off course. He looked off to his left (south) and looked back down at his GPS. So that was where he was supposed to go. While he looked back down in the box and took a moment to consider whether or not it'd be worth his while to get the compass too, he figured that so long as the GPS in his hands at least held up until he got to the compound, it didn't really mattered hat he had after, and the compass would be just one more thing he was going to have to carry and Steve was in a bit of a time crunch, as the crash and time he'd taken to slightly recover from the shock and minor injuries had majorly cut into his window of opportunity.

Diligently he traveled in the direction his hand held directional device told him to go. With each step he drew closer to the compound, and therefore closer to getting Tegan back and completing his mission. He lost all feelings that did not equate to stubborn determination. If there was one thing Steve was known for, it was not backing out of a fight. If he met resistance along the way, he was going to meet it head on and teach whoever chose to oppose him what it was like to get hit with the edge of his shield and balled fist. He was in no mood to play around. He was here for one thing and one thing only. To fail was not an option; there was literally no other choice for Steve than to succeed. It wasn't that he was sticking o his orders and had a fierce determination to complete his orders (though that was part of it) it was that Steve himself expected nothing but pure perfection from him, and he was not going to accept anything less than his personal best.

He stopped dead as the map in his hands led him to what looked like a major road. Worry permeated his every movement as he carefully crouched on the side of the road, warily watching the cars as they passed; trying to decide if any of them had any connections with HADES. For the most part it seemed that he was met with normal work cars of the everyday Russian completely oblivious to the fact that the outskirts of Moscow played host to the headquarters of the organization run by the man that seemed to control everything in the war. Steadying his elevated breathing and calming himself down, Steve came to the happy conclusion that for the most part no armored cars or tanks were waiting to blow any opposing force to smithereens should they be met with resistance. Waiting for the coast to clear with no cars hurtling down the road in either direction, he took the leap of faith and sprinted across the icy pavement; a red white and blue blur against the whitened landscape.

Safely on the other side, he quickly dove into the thicket, forging the path towards the headquarters. Out of fear of going the wrong way, he found himself constantly checking the GPS. He held the tiny little gadget tightly in his hands, worried that should he put it anywhere else he'd lose it, and the last thing he needed was to walk right past the place without realizing what exactly it was. Though, it didn't take long for the busy warehouse to come into view, and he figured that at this point, if he lost the GPS, he'd be a horrible soldier to walk right by the place.

The building itself looked to be that of an abandoned warehouse. The sheet metal that served for its walls had been hastily reinforced with what was probably several inches thick to avoid heavy artillery should they fall under attack. It was grey and boring; save for what seemed to be like a constant flurry of workers. For a moment, Steve hovered in the shadowed thicket just beyond the compound. He couldn't help but feel like he was a bear perched on a branch and was about to stick his claw into a beehive just for the sake of honey. Workers buzzed around the place, and guards marched along the perimeter with their weapons hot and ready to enter into combat should they be needed.

The way Steve looked at it; he could do this two ways and two ways only. The first would be to approach it like a spy would: with caution. If he chose to do it like that, he'd have to find a way to sneak into the compound unnoticed and somehow sneak around the place that he was only slightly familiar with thanks to blue prints (which in his opinion hardly replaced personal experience). The second way would be to simply charge in head first: with little care for what happened to him. This was the way that Steve was far more familiar with. He knew the risks that came with the high stakes, attention-drawing game. He knew that to go parading into the compound before him could very well serve to be a death sentence for him, but a sudden surge of confidence and optimism flooded his veins and got his heart racing.

There wasn't much more thought to his plan of attack beyond the fact that he needed to get past everyone, into the inner building, run up some stairs and down some hallways and find Tegan. He had the layout in his head, but the second he ran towards the semi-open gates like a brave cavalry charge of one, all the plans that he'd taken time to formulate on the plane ride over melted away into the back of his mind as instinct took the wheel. He was no longer someone that was conscious of his own personal being. He moved, twisted, ducked and threw his shield on pure reaction. He immersed himself in the lightning reflexes that came from years of training. Gone were the days where he found himself awkward in his own body, still feeling like that scrawny kid from Brooklyn. He embraced his body as a weapon and wielded it to the best of his ability. He blocked attacks and gave attacks. He took hits and cut down guards. Alarms were raised and his heart raced.

This was it, there was no turning back now.

Blindly, he fought through hoards of guards and startled workers. For the most part, it seemed as if he had the element of surprise on his side with most of the men uttering shocked phrases that though spoken in mostly Russian, Steve knew had to do with him. The adrenaline rush didn't even start to calm down until he found himself well within the inner building, racing down hallways and haphazardly running up and down stairs like a cornered rat. He chided himself for having lost to the frenzy so easily, because this had been exactly what he'd been trying to avoid. So here he was now, in the middle of a building that he knew very little about; again, blueprints could only give someone so much knowledge of a structure. Not only this, but he was in a compound full of enemies that gathered like an angered swarm, absolutely pissed off that the bear had finally prodded the hive. He knew that the longer he stood around without figuring out where he was, the smaller his window of slightly easy escape became. Willing himself not to panic in the face of the unknown, he doubled back once or twice and tried to grow familiar with the place, making an effort to point out things that looked like he'd already seen them.

For the most part, he was still without a good grip on the layout of the area, and all of it was beginning to feel like a maze. Desperation to get to Tegan was taking over, and once more the instinct was rising up. Taking deep breaths, he forced himself to walk rather than run, eyeing each door that he went past, looking for one that might even remotely look like a door that held unimaginable horrors of torture behind it. Finally he turned a corner and found himself staring face to face with a door that looked like something that separated dreadfulness from reality. Uncertainly, he reached out his hand to try the knob, not entirely expecting the jam to click open and for the heavy metal door to swing inwards, revealing a dark black room before him. From the harsh light out in the hallway, Steve couldn't quite see what was inside, but the stench of blood informed him that he was in the right place.

Though it was only a second that he stood there, to him it felt like eternity as he wavered on the decision of whether or not he really wanted to fish for a light switch to see what had become of agent Tegan Hollis. Like old horror movie monsters, the unknown frightened him more than things he could see, and he finally forced himself into the room. He stepped forth with caution, clinging to the walls and feeling for a switch. It was not until he deviated from the safe path of the walls did he feel a light string swinging from side to side, occasionally hitting his head. Reaching up he pulled the string with dread heavy in his heart. With a dim, but oddly warm light flooding the black painted room, his blue eyes grew wide and he fought back bitter bile that rose up in his throat.

There was no doubt in his mind that he'd found Tegan.

**Author's Notes: **Oh my gosh, guys. I am SO sorry that I've a) only gotten one chapter up today and b) that this has come so late. I feel..._bad_. I am the update QUEEN. THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE. But you know, I was ~~social~~ all day or something...and then I started to feel sick so I was slow writing this and even though I REALLY wanted to go to bed, I wanted to write this more, because I'd feel bad for leaving you lovely people without updates. Thank you EVERYONE that has reviewed this story so far! You guys are seriously putting smiles on my face every time I read them. Your dedication to following this story is seriously what makes me keep on writing. I might not have a thousand reviews, but I've got you guys, and that's all I need :'D And you people apologizing for being late on your reviews, YOU'RE ALL SO SILLY. I feel it's a privilege to have you guys reviewing my story, so there's no need to apologize for being late for something that you REALLY don't have to do but do anyways because you're a group of fanfreakingtastic people. Yes, **BreeBree12345**, there will finally be some heavy Steve/Tegan interaction in the following chapters! Also, **TheGirlThatIsBorderlineCrazzy**...I'm totally stealing 'oh my glob'. I laughed louder than I should have at that! **littledhampir13**, well if you're German, then you totally can say whatever you want ;D and yes...Steve lays into Erik in the next chapter...VINDICATION! **aubrey1**, you may or may not have (ok, you totally did) brought tears of happiness to my eyes. You are too kind, seriously. Give yourself a hug for your kind words. **Jen Lennon**, don't you be apologizin'! You have a life, AND YOU GOT TO PARTY YOU LUCKY LADY. **PredictionPickle **(Mheetu), I LOVE YOU YOU CRAZY FOOL, LEMME KISS YOU. **Melibells**, I don't think I've mentioned enough how much I truly enjoy your reviews. They're so in depth and you clearly put a lot of thought into them, you're the best. LOVE AAALLL AROUND. Of course, thank you to everyone that's also been adding this story to their alerts and favorites, it really means a lot! Maybe I'll bust my ass and update three times tomorrow to make up for how bad I was at updating today ;u;

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	10. For never standing by your side

CHAPTER TEN

_For never standing by your side_

Her eyes were closed; occasionally Steve caught a flutter of movement beneath her eyelids. The whole room had an unnatural stillness to it that made his skin crawl. She seemed far too quiet for something good to be going on with her. Even the hallways outside seemed dreadfully quiet. His worried gaze slid over the length of her exposed body, eyes tracing lines of dried blood that dripped down her sides, her arms, her legs, her face, down the table and onto the floor. It was all he could do to keep from curling over and heaving out what little was in his stomach. For the most part, Tegan resembled a raw slab of meat more than she did a human with skin. Beneath the dried blood and exposed muscles, it was hard to tell if there was any skin left on her. His eyes traveled down one of her arms that drooped over the side of the table, her fingers spread slightly apart.

At first, he thought that the tips were just bloody but as he leaned closer to look, horror welled up as he realized that she was missing all of her nails. She did not seem to be wearing any clothing to keep her appearance 'decent' (not that torture was a time to worry about whether or not one had the bare necessities covered), and her legs were splayed in an awkward position. It took Steve a while to even determine she was alive, he swallowed hard once or twice as he first suspected that she was dead, but upon closer inspection he caught a faint, irregular rise and fall of her chest. The dread that had welled up inside of him upon his first realization of her having not been in the best of shape and thinking that she was dead slowly dissipated with this knowledge.

While there was no doubt in his mind that Steve did not care for the woman when she was conscious and running her mouth, with the state she was in and after all she'd clearly gone through he was going to pretty much risk his life to get her out of here. In the back of his mind he knew already that it was going to be a hell of a lot harder getting out than it'd been getting in. By now, forces had plenty of time to gather, weapons were hot and ready to go and there was no doubt in his mind that if Erik was around, he had been notified and was probably on his way to whatever room they were in. With the realization of the direness of the situation setting in and overriding his sickened shock that'd set in when he first stumbled upon Tegan, he looked around the room frantically for something, anything, to cover her up.

Stepping closer to where she lay, he hovered over her, looking around down on the opposite side of the table. He was not expecting her eyes to fly open and for a soul-shattering screech to leave her gaping mouth. Whatever he'd done, clearly she was not as out of it as he had first thought. At the loud noise, he snapped up in surprise and jumped back quickly. From what he could tell, Tegan was not really looking at anything in particular, and it took him a moment to realize that she wasn't screaming from fear of him, but rather the pain; or that's what he gathered. Looking around the room frantically, he did not see anything that could help her out, or even cover her up; not that he imagined a rough material on the sensitive exposed muscles that'd been uncovered would be much more comfortable than the state that she was in.

Beating back the surprise and admitting that she'd caught him off guard, Steve moved back to where Tegan was screaming, reaching out a steady hand he went to touch her just to try to calm her down and bring her mind back down, but as he looked at her he suddenly began to doubt that he could touch her in any place without bringing pain. He quickly retracted his hand back and gripped the edge of the metal table. Leaning over Tegan and putting his face as close to hers as possible he spoke loudly over her shrieks,

"Tegan! Tegan! It's ok, it's just Steve. Hey…hey! I need you to calm down alright? Everything's going to be fine. I'm going to get you out of here, OK?"

For as doubtful as he was about there being a smooth escape for the two, he swallowed his suspicions in order to maintain a calm peace of mind for the tortured woman that needed calm now more than anything. At the sound of his voice, her screaming slowly died down, and her hazel eyes averted their distant stare from the ceiling above her to the face hovering over her. Blind relief and delirium flooded her features as she raised the one arm that'd been pulled from the shackles and reached out to drag her raw fingers across the skin of his face. Her touch was incredibly cold against his skin and he shivered (whether from the physical coldness of her touch or the seemingly metaphorical chill that'd settled in the room he wasn't sure) as she, all the while releasing what looked like a tear or two of happiness, hoarsely asked in a voice that Steve did not recognize as hers,

"St-s-s-Steve?"

He had no feelings for this woman other than the utmost pity, but his heart wrenched at the emotion that he was suddenly seeing from her. For the most part, Steve had found the agent to be extremely difficult to deal with. She had an outer layer of ice that he found to be unnecessary and did not choose to interact with her, as her calloused attitude and sharp words always seemed like she had put up a very poor façade and was hiding something from the world. So to see her so relieved to see him, to see fear flicker in her eyes, to know that she was in pain, he suddenly felt like she was more human; someone that he could connect with. Furrowing his brow in concern he nodded and offered her a reassuring smile as he said,

"Yeah, Steve. Hey, I'm going to find something to put around you, but with the state your body's currently in, I don't think it'll feel very good. I only say this because I'm going to have to keep you from getting frostbite somehow. I'm going to go try to find a blanket or something, OK? I think I have time to do that."

Tegan did not hear much of what he said. Her mind raced and the blood loss made her head light and caused it to spin around like a top. What she did seem to manage to grasp onto was the phrase talking about leaving her. Though she'd already been fairly tense before, it was obvious that the last thing she wanted right now was to be alone and clearly at the thought she drew rigid. Her mouth opened and closed several times as she tried to reach for words but didn't even have the strength to talk. Steve turned his back and started towards the door but froze in his tracks as a ghostly, unearthly wail came from behind him. Snapping around quickly his eyes fell back onto Tegan. Her one arm was outstretched towards him, her fingers curling into the nothingness as she grasped at him, as if trying to hold onto him and keep him there forever. The last thing in this world she wanted at this very moment was to be alone.

Worriedly, he moved back to the table. As he neared, she reached out and grabbed his arm and his skin crawled at the feeling of her raw flesh against his. Looking down at her with a tightly furrowed brow he shook his head and said,

"Tegan, I _have_ to go find something to cover you. It's the middle of winter in Russia, and you're not exactly…" he paused to let his eyes fall across her mangled body. While he had not noticed it when he'd first looked at her, he could see heavy clotting and even new, shiny skin starting to form at the edges of each and every cut on her body. However, far more worried about the fading life before him rather than the strangeness of new skin that would otherwise take weeks to regenerate (if at all), he brushed off the oddity and instead focused on the fact that if he thought to take her out now in the elements in the state she was already in, she would surely die. Tegan scrunched her face up into a contorted look of horror and sorrow as she whispered,

"_Please don't leave me_."

Steve sucked in a sharp breath of air; the last thing he had planned was leaving this woman here. Gently prying her hand from his arm he leaned over her once more to get a look at the shackle that kept her right arm raised above her head. Surveying the odd angle, his stomach quickly twisted into a series of knots as he realized that her shoulder was dislocated. Her arm hung limply and the area around her shoulder socket was purple and bruised, clearly swollen. Whether Erik had done this or she'd accidentally done it with her struggling, he wasn't sure. What he was sure of, however, was how much harder breaking the chain that kept her arm upright was going to be now with the knowledge of the amount of pain that would certainly burn up her arm with any slight movement to it. Without a key, he had absolutely no hope of getting her out of the chain without causing her any pain. His heart sank as he slowly realized what he was going to have to do.

Straightening up he looked down at Tegan and quietly explained what he was going to have to do in a dark, grave voice, "I've got to get you out of that chain, Tegan. I'm going…I'm going to have to break the chain, and I know only one way how to do it. I know your shoulder's dislocated and I know it's going to hurt like hell, but it's going to be a onetime pain, like ripping off a bandaid."

Tegan seemed to gather what he was about to do, and any fear she'd not wasted simply on being in the compound and the room she was in went towards fearing whatever weapon Steve had that was going to break the chain. Her breathing quickened as she started to quickly repeat the word 'no' over and over again. With each beg, her voice changed flexion and tone. Steve drew into himself to avoid falling prey to the suppliant, sorrowful words coming from her mouth. If he listened, then he'd never do it; and then she'd be stuck here forever, and that was not a part of the plan. He moved away from where Tegan was and slowly drew his shield back over his head. Tegan craned her neck back and shouted loudly in pure panic as he raised his shield up over his head and began to bring it down,

"No, no, no, no! Please, no!"

However, she didn't get much more time to argue and beg him to not do it as he brought the resilient edge of his shield down on the taunt chain. The shock of being struck with the strong metal caused the iron chain that he hit to shatter instantly, leaving Tegan unchained. He could not say such optimistic things for the woman he'd been sent to save. Her arm bent back at a weird angle, as if the chain had been all that had been holding it up at a semi-normal position. It flopped back behind her, and clearly the pain was enough to send her into shock. Her hazel eyes rolled up into the back of her head and suddenly her cry of pain was cut short.

Silence overtook the room, and Steve stood very still. He tried to catch whether or not she was breathing. His heart began to sink as he couldn't see any signs of life. With no other choice but to feel for a pulse, he finally reached forward to press his fingers down in the crevice that formed where her jawbone and neck connected. As if Tegan hadn't been a bag full of horrifying enough surprises, the second he made contact with her skin, he immediately began to feel an out of place burning hatred. It was like a shock of electricity that traveled up his fingers, up his arm and into his heart.

With a surprised yelp, he leapt back from where he stood to stare with wide blue eyes at the unconscious agent. He could not remember having ever felt that sensation before. It was strange, and he fought to shake off the anger, but he did not get much of a chance to clear his head as an amused, familiar voice sounded from behind him,

"She's truly a strange experiment, isn't she?"

Steve wheeled around on his feet to finally come face to face with the bastard that was ruining so many lives, changing so many things, destroying happiness and robbing children of childhood memories of one or both parents. He was a criminal, and while he never abjectly hated anyone, he used the strange fury he'd felt just seconds before as a tool to allow him the ability to absolutely, unequivocally hate Erik Sunderland.

While the star spangled man before him had easily laid waste to his initial guards that he'd sent to stop his path into the compound, Erik felt completely at ease with the American. He might be in the presence of a historical super soldier; the first prototype in genetic engineering. The man that spawned so many different experiments by countless scientists all trying to reproduce the legendary soldier, the man that meant so much to a public people, and yet had so easily fallen into back-story and myth in his disappearance. To Erik, Steve was just another relic that belonged in a museum, not on the battle field. It was like bringing a knife to a gun fight. In a day and age where technology brought success, an outdated technology that'd once been advancement but was now just obsolete was, in Erik's less than humble opinion, the way you lost a war. And obviously the United Forces was losing horribly.

Steve glared angrily at Erik, his chest rising and falling quickly as he let the antagonism completely consume him. Through gritted teeth he hissed,

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Erik was completely at ease with the whole situation. He lazily crossed his arms across his chest and even brought a hand to his hair, running his fingers through it before drawing them away to simply shrug and point out, "she's been through a lot more than any other agent has. Do you not think it is amazing that she has still managed to survive; even after all that I put her through?"

Steve offered the still unconscious Tegan a semi-curious sideways glance before lunging at Erik. The slightly taller German easily stepped to the side and calmly parried any blow Steve threw at him. The two lightly grappled and danced around the room in a flurry of flying fists, singing shields, and sinister smiles. With each and every consecutive fail to connect his curled hand with the side of Erik's face, Steve only fought harder. Usually he had a battle plan, but the residual fury that he'd found from just barely touching Tegan served as a drug, and the farther he fell into it, the angrier he got. He let it sweep him off his feet; he let it make him blindly flail at Erik without much care for how much damage he himself was taking on just for his own attacks.

However, finally after having made more misses than Steve would have cared to admit, he swung his shield right at Erik's head. While most people would have been knocked to the ground and knocked out for perhaps a week or more, Erik simply crumpled to the ground momentarily before rolling over onto his back and grinning up at Steve. He laughed a somewhat deranged laugh as he excitedly shrieked,

"You seem surprised that a mean blow from the edge of your shield has not completely destroyed me!"

Steve did not, for the first time since Erik walked into the room, rise to Erik's poking and taunting. Instead he stood angrily over Erik and grumbled fiercely,

"I'll continue to hit you in the head with it if I have to."

Erik laughed at this and curled his lips into a devious grin, "ooh, the super soldier of the past is threatening me. Come now, Steve. You forget that I trained with you and the silly Avengers for four years of my training at S.H.I.E.L.D. I know how every last one of you acts, and I know how to make you experience pain and horrors that you've yet to experience. I think it should be I threatening you, not the way we have found ourselves at now."

Without further need to hear Erik speak, Steve reared his hand back and brought the flat of his shield down onto the side of Erik's upturned face. He looked down with a somewhat pleased grin as the German slumped down, his eyes lightly shut. However, he did not have much time to gloat, for he quickly remembered why he was here. Slowly, he moved back towards Tegan. At this moment, he realized that he was so underprepared. He didn't even think of how he was going to transport him to the plane waiting area, he didn't think of what kind of state she'd be in when he got here. He'd just been so eager to accept the mission as an excuse to get to kick the ass of a megalomaniac that he had quite honestly almost forgotten the main reason why he had been sent on the mission.

Running out of options and out of time, he stripped himself of his jacket with complete intentions of wrapping Tegan up in it. While it was no blanket, it came down to his mid-thigh, and from what he remembered of Tegan standing up and not strapped to a table, she was rather short compared to him. His jacket would be enough to get her halfway into the Russian wilderness without experiencing any real cold on her part. Sure, Steve would now feel the stinging winds, but he was far more focused on the retrieval and rescue of Tegan Hollis to worry about himself at this point. Gingerly making sure not to graze her skin once more, he tenderly wrapped her safely within his jacket and carefully hoisted her up onto his shoulders like a pack mule carrying a shot deer home from the woods. With the sudden movements, scabs that'd formed on Tegan's wounds broke loose and a new dribble of blood came around and down out her hands and legs. Urgency was setting in and Steve worried that if he didn't leave now, Erik would either wake up and bar their way, or that the gathered forces of whatever HADES soldiers would be too much for him to surmount. Carefully crawling over Erik's limp body he stuck a foot out of the room and finally took the first step towards the dizzying bid for freedom that would eventually lead down to the end of his mission; whether it ended through his ultimate success or untimely demise.

**Author's Notes: **MAYBE IF I WROTE THINGS NOT AT MIDNIGHT/BEYOND, I WOULDN'T FEEL LIKE I'D JUST WRITTEN A HORRIBLE CHAPTER. I'm seriously too tired to do a thorough author's note. No, you don't understand. I'm writing this with my eyes closed. I'm exhausted. I'm so sorry this came so late D: but thanks for reading/reviewing/favoriting! I promise I'll do better notes tomorrow/go back and read how bad this chapter is and try to fix things.

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	11. Please don't blame me

CHAPTER ELEVEN

_Please don't blame me_

The second he and his rescued prisoner were completely out of the room, Steve felt the innate worry set in. A thousand questions plagued his mind. Questions about how whether or not Tegan would make it out of the compound alive, about how he was going to get out of here, about what Erik had meant. They all buzzed around in his brain like a swarm of angry bees, drowning out all common sense. Above all, he worried about how he was actually going to get out with Tegan. It was not her weight that worried him, but rather how he was going to engage in fighting should he run into a tight spot. With Tegan draped around his shoulders (the only way he'd thought to carry her out that left him with slight use of his arms), he would not be able to have full use of his arms to deliver blows. The best he could do at this point is simply use his shield the way it was meant: to protect.

The noise from all the burning questions flying around in his mind drowned out all sounds of reason as he froze in the hallway, his heart racing, looking from left to right; trying to figure out which way would be the best way to get out. In all honesty, he didn't quite remember how he'd gotten in. It'd been a mad dash from the entrance all the way to the room where he found Tegan. He hadn't bothered to take time to memorize landmarks and little things. By now, he'd long lost his GPS so hopes of at least knowing which way was north were shot with that tiny bit of unfortunate knowledge. In an impulse decision and with the sounds of heavy approaching feet and raised voices, he darted off to the left, running as carefully as he possibly could.

He was like a blind rat in a maze; he didn't know where he was going or where the end was, all he was doing was relying on his every instinct to get him out alive. Once or twice, he started down hallways only to find them blocked by approaching guards or leading to dead ends. With each and every subsequent failure to go through a door that didn't lead to the outside of the headquarters, his frustration rose. All he wanted, all he needed, was to just get out. Once he was on open ground, he knew that he'd have a better chance of figuring out his way. He could vaguely remember the way that he'd come from the crash, so if he could just get beyond the walls of the compound, he'd be mostly home free. All he needed was to get out. With guards hot on his heels, and probably Erik too, he ran down every hallway he picked with frantic determination. At this point, he didn't even notice how badly the scabs over Tegan's wounds had broken and that she was bleeding. He just wanted to get out. The walls of the place were closing in around him, he almost saw no end in sight.

After what felt like hours of frantic running and dead-end finding, he finally burst through a set of heavy metal doors and took a relieved breath of cold early evening air. The sun was beginning to dip down behind the horizon, casting long and menacing shadows across the land. Steve had legitimately never been more grateful to be outside. However, all was not meant to go his way. He stopped dead in his tracks as he looked ahead at a group of guards with raised weapons that had gathered outside of the door. Steve's heart sank. There were not many options for him at this point. He could try to charge through the group of guards with his shield raised, hoping that someone from the side did not catch him with a blast from their gun. He might be able to take more than the average soldier, but he didn't think he knew anyone that could withstand the pure power that weapons created from the energy of the Tesseract. He'd already seen such arms in action before, and he highly doubted that they had changed in their overall workings. His other option was to simply stand his ground and try to fight his way out; but that wasn't a very efficient option. If he chose that, Steve was fairly certain that his chances of making it out alive and with Tegan dropped to a very low percentage.

It seemed that both parties were waiting for the other to make a move. Steve had a growing sense of doubt that Erik had ordered his guards to capture him alive. After all, what good would he be to Erik as a prisoner? And there weren't many cells that could hold him now days. If anything, his death would be a low blow to the remaining morale of the world. Yet, Erik hadn't even bothered to get up when Steve had knocked him to the ground just minutes before. It was like Erik _wanted_ him to try to get away, to make it a game. Steve resented the fact that he was now simply being thrown around like a game piece. It finally dawned on him that Erik might have let the fight between them go but he never planned on Steve getting out of the compound alive. Shuffling his feet and quickly looking around his surroundings, Steve raised the arm that had his shield fastened to it and while tightening his grip around Tegan, he darted forward.

The sudden movement was enough to catch at least one or two of the people surrounding him off guard, and startled by his burst of speed towards them, a small hole opened in the previously impenetrable wall of guns and angry men. Of course, the surprise didn't last long and soon the flurry of blue beams of light that could easily hurt him should they touch him were flying around the open air, followed by angry shouts demanding that he be stopped. Steve did not look around to see what was going on he did not see if there were more guards filing in left and right to stop him, he did not care if tanks were being sent after him; he was focused on the gates of the compound that were now slowly closing and how fast he could run to them to get through. At this moment, escape (not even a safe escape anymore) was at the top of his mind.

He lengthened his stride and pounded his feet into the ground as he dashed towards the gates. Trying his best to calculate whether or not he'd make it in time, he realize that if he didn't pick up the pace, he'd be stuck behind these walls, as from the way it looked they'd be too tall for him to jump, and even if he could the extra weight of Tegan draped around his shoulders would be enough to keep him from making it. At one point, he made the horrific mistake of looking back behind him. It was like Pandora's box had opened up and chaos was spilling forth. People running after him, shouting, gunfire; it was a right war zone –the type of thing that Steve had been so used to but didn't even miss.

Once or twice he felt the hot bite of a stream of energy bursting past his body, cutting past his suit and slicing skin open. If he had the time, he'd stop to worry about whether or not there'd be permanent damage from this, but he simply had to push past the pain. Finally it seemed that guards were streaming out in front of him, and now it became what felt like a game of soccer or football; so many opposing forces to get around and one precious package to get to the other side of the field that he sprinted across. Nimbly, he darted around them and out of their reach, ducking as more and more weapons were fired in his direction. All he needed was to get to those damn gates.

The ground between him and freedom was closing fast, but as were his window of opportunity for escape. Urging himself into one more burst of speed, he darted through the gates. However, instead of stopping now to turn around and make sure that he'd made it out without anyone else following him –though he was certain that he'd be followed soon- he kept on running. At first he did not run the way he remembered coming, instead he veered off to the left into what looked to be the start of a semi-thick forest. He needed cover, he needed to get to a place to make sure Tegan was still alive; he needed to pull his tracker out and get someone to come pick them up.

While he silently celebrated the miracle of getting the hell out of there without what seemed like too serious of injuries to him, he now realized that only half of the hard part was over. Now he had to avoid any HADES search parties all the while with what was more than likely a dying agent on his hands and trying to stay in one place long enough for the planes to come pick them up. To be honest, Steve wasn't entirely sure how far or how long he ran, but by the time he began to feel a fatigue in his strained muscles, the sun had long since died down behind the horizon, and he was now alone in the wilderness with a naked, injured agent wrapped in a poorly insulated jacket. Not even aware of how tired he was, his own feet tangled around one another and he lurched forward. Instinct kicked in as he released Tegan on his shoulders to catch himself. The pair rolled in the snow from the fall, but Steve was not down for long, as he sprang up quickly to grasp at Tegan and pull her close to him. Careful not to touch her skin again, as he was not in the mood to find out if he would still get the weird feeling that he'd gotten earlier, he made sure that the jacket was wrapped around her tightly.

It was at this moment did he finally notice that the running and everything else that he'd been doing had pulled the scabs on her wounds open and once more she was bleeding heavily. He looked back the way he came and squinted in the darkness only made less shadowy by the bright bulb of a full moon in a miraculously clear sky. Holding his heavy breathing still for a moment, he listened to the wilds around him, listening for the sounds of pursuers, listening for anything potentially threatening. However, he released his pent up breath in relief as he sat and did not hear much of anything. Knowing that time was possibly running out for Tegan, he reached for his locator. However, where it had once been looped on his belt, he now grasped nothing but air. Panic locked into his heart and made it race once more as he looked down with a horrified look. It'd been lost in the confusion. Gritting his teeth, Steve realized the gravity of his situation. He was behind enemy lines, without a way to contact anyone, with a potentially dying agent in need of serious medical attention, and he had just managed to anger an entire organization with his escapade. If Mother Nature did not get to them, Erik and HADES would.

Steve sat for a moment in silent disbelief of his situation, cursing himself for not having paid closer attention to directions and surroundings around the compound, he thought hard to find a way that'd allow him to communicate with S.H.I.E.L.D. Unfortunately, he didn't think there were any villages or towns nearby, save for Moscow, but he at least remembered that the city was thirty miles out from the compound and Tegan would probably be dead by the time he got there. Finally, he realized that the chances of the crashed plane's communications being intact were fairly high. The only problem was that he didn't have much of a clue as to where he was right now; he'd have to double back and sneak past what was probably going to be a large search party on the prowl looking for their lost toys.

While he'd only need a few hours to rest, Steve decided that moving Tegan and making his way back to the plane would be a lot easier if it were lighter. He wasn't entirely aware of what time it was, but he assumed that he had at least a few hours before the sun rose again. While the smart thing to do would be to try to sleep, Steve instead found himself far too worried about the woman he had curled close onto his lap in an effort to keep any of her exposed skin from touching the cold now and thus causing further damage to her already wrecked body. He could not see her face very well in the dim light of the frigid evening, but he couldn't help but feel sick at how peaceful her expression looked. He'd been to enough funerals to know the relaxed expression of the deceased, and he couldn't help but feel like she looked the exact same way. She'd never been a very dark-skinned woman, but her tone had taken on a pasty coloring to it, no doubt from the horrific amount of blood she'd lost.

He leaned his back and head against one of the many trees around him and briefly closed his eyes, his tired mind wandered to Erik's words. How the hell had Tegan actually survived all of this? From the way he'd found her in the compound, she should have been dead. If she was alive, she shouldn't have even been able to talk to him like she had, yet somehow she'd managed to maintain consciousness, and probably would have been awake for a lot more if he hadn't further dislocated her shoulder when he broke the chain that held her to the wall. However, as confusing as her seemingly impressive healing process was, he kept thinking about the shock of anger that he'd felt when his fingers had brushed against her skin. He'd never felt that before from her, and he'd shaken her hand many times and skin contact then had never seemed to be a problem. It also wasn't like it'd been he who had originally been feeling hateful and angry. If anything, he'd been worried and upset. The emotion that had coursed through his body like a pulse of electricity, he decided, was Tegan's.

At one point while being caught up in his thoughts, Steve's wary body called for the need to sleep, and he drifted off into a light slumber. He awoke when the shrill shrieking of a bird sounded over head. Instantly, his body grew rigid and he leapt up from his position, only to remember his situation just a second too late as a still unconscious Tegan tumbled from his lap. Her limp body rolled into the snow and out of the jacket Steve had taken such care to wrap her up in. Falling to his knees beside her, he quickly placed the jacket back over her and turned her around into it. In the process, he carelessly let his hands graze across her skin. Again, the intense surge of hatred caught him off guard and he sucked in a sharp breath of air. It took him a moment to recover from the dizzying change in emotion. He rocked back onto his heels into a squatting position as he took several deep breaths to clear his head. While the emotion still baffled, confused, and even scared him, he felt slightly relieved to feel something coming from her. If she could send such a strong feeling to him, then she was still strong enough to survive.

Looking around the clearing, it became painfully obvious in the way they'd come. If his trail was this easy to follow here, he figured that if he was being searched for, then the HADES agents wouldn't have much time finding him. Picking Tegan back up and draping her back over his shoulder, he started off back in the direction he'd come. However, rather than running the risk of stumbling right into a trap by walking directly along the pat he'd made, he instead started off parallel to the trail of blood and foot prints and made sure he was cognoscente of his surroundings.

With his head up and eyes wide, he traveled at a slower pace this time than he had before. Every stumble he hissed at himself, trying not to jar Tegan as much as possible. Occasionally, he'd reach up to brush his fingers across her skin, just hoping to feel the hate and to reassure himself that she was still alive. The traveling was slow, but when the sun was high in the sky, perhaps at one or two in the afternoon, he realized that he'd not met any resistance on his trip back. He stood in the shadows, staring at the walls of the compound once more. Why was everything so quiet? Why was no one after them?

Not that he was disappointed or anything, but he couldn't help but feel how all of this was wrong. There was certainly something up with HADES and Erik, but he did not have the time to ponder the oddities of his enemy. Instead, he was finally headed back in the way he came. Respite washed over him as he slowly came to realize that if he could just make contact with someone back at the plane, they were home free. They'd managed to get out alive! His heart leapt with glee at the thought of this, and for as much as he wanted to put Tegan down and rest, he pushed his slowly tiring body on, ignoring all the signs and trying his hardest to continue. He kept up a chant in his head, repeating 'just get to the plane' over and over again as an internal cheerleader.

So when he finally made it back to where the plane had wrecked, he was shocked to find a group of heavily armored men surrounding it. For a moment, he hovered in the shadows, watching as they crawled in and out of the twisted metal with curiosity, like the way a cat played with an empty box. He studied their uniforms and weapons, trying to figure out if they were from HADIES or the Central Forces or not. To a certain extent, he could not see any insignias or colors that'd raise suspicion of their alliance anywhere. Figuring that he didn't have much to lose at this point, he pushed out of the shadows, held up a cautious hand and said,

"My name is Captain Steve Rogers, and I need your help."

Every single man in the clearing popped up like alarmed meerkats and spun around to face him with raised weapons. Realizing their tension as the air grew colder than it already was, Steve stopped approaching and assured,

"I'm not the enemy. Surely you know me? I'm an agent at S.H.I.E.L.D, a member of the Avengers group, and a soldier in the United States Army. That was my plane that crashed, I was sent here on a mission to rescue this agent. I need to contact S.H.I.E.L.D to let them know that we're still alive, please. I need your help!"

The men all stared at him, as if unsure of what to say, though none of them seemed to be buying his story; or maybe they just didn't speak English. Unfortunately for Steve, he didn't know any language aside from English. Without thinking, he took a couple more steps towards the tense and obviously on guard men. This turned out to be the absolute wrong thing to do, as one of the soldiers closest to him dropped his gun and immediately ran head-first into Steve, tackling him to the ground, shouting at him to 'stay the fuck put'. The force of the blow was enough to make him lose his balance and loosen his grip on Tegan. She slid from his shoulder in a sickeningly dead weighted thud onto the snowy ground. Steve grappled with the man on top of him and managed to get his hands on his chest to shove him off. Realizing that their comrade was in need, four more men rushed forth to pin Steve to the ground, and the entire group of people erupted into a confusion of yelling and fighting. Finally, Steve stopped his struggling to angrily shout,

"What is wrong with all of you?"

The man that'd originally launched himself at him was now standing, and with great effort, three other men were holding him down, two others were examining Tegan. Steve managed to sit up right as someone reached down to grab Tegan's exposed wrist as if to take her pulse. Steve could not cry out to tell them to not touch her in time. The man yelped at what Steve knew was the shock of anger that surged through his body, and taking advantage of the new emotion that coursed through his body, he aimed a kick at her limp form. However, he didn't even get to make contact with her body, as Steve had broken the holds on him to grab the man and drag him backwards. Throwing him down onto the snow he yelled,

"Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing? She' can't help it!"

The man sat up and lunged at Steve hissing, "fucking bitch shocked me!"

Grabbing the man's fist as he aimed for Steve's stomach, Steve hastily and angrily explained, "no she didn't shock you. It's just something that she does, she can't help it!"

Someone came up behind him and dragged him away from the man. Going to wrestle out of the hold, he felt a strong arm snake around his throat and begin to close off his airway. He took this as a sign to stop fighting, and though he would have much rather continued to throw them all off, he immediately relaxed. The second he did, the grip on his throat loosened slightly. He watched with narrowed eyes as the man that had first lunged at him stalked over to where he was and spoke in a thick Irish accent,

"Ye've gone and caused a whole lot of problems here, American hero."

Shaking his head in confusion Steve asked, "what?"

The man before him offered him an angry grin (which to Steve looked more like a wolf bearing its teeth at an enemy), "I'm talkin' about yer little adventure into the HADES headquarters. We're guessing you took somethin' valuable from 'em, because they came through every surrounding village within a forty mile radius and burned them to the ground in search of whatever the fuck you took. I hope she's fuckin' worth all the lives you just cost the public."

So that's why no one was out looking for him. His heart sank and he deflated slightly and explained, "she could possibly have information on HADES that no one else has."

Everyone offered the unconscious woman a sideways glance and the man before him laughed, "well, she's dead now, isn't she?"

Rising up to her defense (or perhaps his own delusions) Steve snapped, "no! She's not dead."

A man had crouched back down by Tegan's head and was looking down at her mostly exposed body. His face was contorted into a grimace of pity and he shook his head, "no, man. I totally think she's dead."

Steve hissed angrily at this, "no, _she is not_."

Everyone seemed to be looking at Steve now like he'd grown an extra head. They couldn't see the extremely faint rise and fall of her chest; they didn't know that what the man that'd tried to kick her felt meant that she was alive. He accepted their ignorance, and was going to fight it as much as possible. Looking around at the men and shrugging out of the grip around his throat, he reached over and picked up his shield. Placing it on the strap on his back he turned back to the group of men and pleaded,

"Please, I need to get her out of here; or at least to a medical center. Anything, I just need to be able to make contact with S.H.I.E.L.D to get us back home. Is there any place I can do that?"

The man before him snorted, "well there was until ya caused a big hullaballoo back behind the walls of that compound and then they all came stormin' out like ants from a kicked pile. In case you didn't catch it earlier, they burned the four towns that were in close range of the compound."

Steve sighed at this, "ok, then what side do you men fight for?"

"Obviously the shitty side."

"What nation is your infantry from?"

"Well, we're all that's left of a special task force of the British Royal Army. We had been stationed in one of the closer towns; we were keepin' an eye out on any activity that happened around the place. Ye can imagine our surprise when yer plane fell from the sky, we weren't sure what it was a part of, though I guess we got an answer now, haven't we?"

Looking down trodden at the tragic news, Steve sighed and asked again, "well do you at least have a way I can make contact with someone?"

The group of men looked at each other and the man that'd been talking to Steve the entire time finally shrugged and said, "yeah I suppose we can take ye to our temporary camp we set up earlier this mornin'. I think we got a radio or two."

Steve thanked him and slowly turned to pick Tegan back up. Cradling her in his arms, feeling oddly protective over her helpless self surrounded by several gruff men that had clearly seen better days, he followed the majority of the group as they turned back and headed off to the right. Catching up with the man he'd been talking to and asked, "can I at least get your name?"

The man slowly looked at him and coldly said, "it doesn't matter."

Steve stopped for a moment, almost feeling like he was falling into a trap; but his desperation to get to a place that he could communicate with S.H.I.E.L.D drove him on, though he walked on, he continued behind the group of men with caution, prepared to run with Tegan at any moment should danger become apparent.

**Author's Notes: **Oh my goodness, what's this? A chapter up before midnight or two am? HAVE I GONE MAD? Actually, yes I have. I don't like writing when I'm tired. Last night was horrible. Though thank you guys for being supportive of me and my half asleep written story :D Seriously, I love you guys (**Melibells, aubrey1, Jen Lennon, **and **littledhampir13**). My four little reviewers that I can always look forward to getting really awesome stuff from! I can't get over how you area all following it so diligently, and you're questioning things like I'm wanting you to question! To all of those that asked, we'll find out exactly what all is going on with Tegan and WHY THE HELL her skin was already growing back and what that hate shit that Steve and that other guy felt. I thank you guys so much for reading! Thanks for all the alerts. THANK YOU, THANK YOU. For as much as you all wait for my chapters, I eagerly await your comments!

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	12. Only did what I thought was truly right

CHAPTER TWELVE

_I only did what I thought was truly right_

While the men ahead of him chattered amongst themselves and discussed the recent turn of events and occasionally saying Steve's name loud enough followed by fits of laughter, Steve however was silent. He tightly held Tegan to his chest; curling her closer and closer to him as if afraid someone would snatch her from his arms. He saw the way the people kept looking at her; they didn't believe him when he said she wasn't dead. Under their occasional scrutinizing gaze, he felt uncomfortable. He did not trust them and what they perhaps wanted to do with Tegan should he let her out of his site. Granted, he did not think that they'd do anything beyond simply throwing her clearly alive body into a pile of the dead for later incineration of burial, but their rough and gruff nature that almost every soldier seemed to take on in a war was what had him continually worrying.

Steve had been in a war much like this one. He knew that men sent to lay down their lives for those sitting at home biting their nails hoping they returned in once peace turned into something akin to a wild pack of starving dogs. There was something strange about the atmosphere of acquiesced murder and chaos that changed the way a man looked at the world. A soldier could be the type of person that claimed he'd never stab a man or slap a woman, the type that said he'd never turn to the bottle when they couldn't shake the violent images from their minds. But these were the types that seemed to be so prone to enlisting in the dark side of life once their deployment was up. When the armed forces no longer had use for them, they made use of themselves by indulging the shadows in their minds. Everyone was susceptible to the wretched reach of war, regardless of what they thought.

For all that Steve had seen and been through –after all, the wars he fought now were no different than the wars the everyday soldier fought- he should not be as intact as he was. But that was the difference between Steve and perhaps most other men; he knew that there was danger and what laid in wait for him in his mind at night. He knew that everything his mind told him was there was not. The effects of post traumatic stress did not grip him as tightly as it gripped others. He wasn't entirely sure why this was, but he did not complain. He'd seen what it was like for those that came home from war. While he did not get to witness this first hand after he disappeared stopping HYDRA, he had seen it now and from what he knew, the disorder had been gripping the emotional strings of soldiers for decades. This was nothing new and although he was aware that the men he followed would not mean to hurt him or Tegan should they suddenly snap, he was still wary of them and trailed behind them with slow and deliberate steps, his muscles taunt and ready to spring away should he sense danger.

Yet for all his suspicion, he was relieved to think that he'd finally get back home with his mission successfully (for the most part) completed. He was anxious for Tegan to get medical attention, and he knew that if there was some sort of infirmary tent in the temporary camp these men had set up, he'd at least be able to not worry about Tegan for a little while as they waited, and he figured that _anyone_ with an ounce more medical knowledge than he had would be better than him simply carrying her around out of lack of knowledge of how else to help her.

Once or twice he considered trying to strike up a conversation with one of the men he marched alongside, but every time he looked over at one of them, he found himself being warded off by their tough exterior. How could he truly connect with these men? He'd been sitting behind the lines of action on a ship with everything he needed (not that he enjoyed it); he had not seen the hardships they had. Even back in the last world war he'd participated in he'd not exactly been a part of the masses that marched out to the real fighting, dealing with hunger and the elements in a way he had never done. In their hardened faces, he saw the real effects of war. Not the effects that won the fights, but the toll it took on those involved. He wanted to reach out and help, but the only way he knew how to help was to find a way to end the war; and he was very certain that Tegan might have information that would do just that. Therefore, it was absolutely necessary at this point that he made it back in one piece with Tegan still alive. So instead, he trudged on through the snow in a terse indifference.

What felt like miles of walking finally paid off as the small group happened upon a tiny camp flourishing with life. Armed men ran around in orderly squadrons led by a screaming squad commander demanding more and more from his men. Smoke rose from fires all around the camp and dirty faces all looked upon the travelling party as they entered. With many eyes upon them, Steve felt oddly scrutinized and without thinking he clutched Tegan closer to his chest. At last, they all came to a halt in what felt like the natural center of the camp. They were greeted by a stern looking man with a face marred by puckered scars ruining his complexion. He demanded to know who the hell was with them. The man that had been addressing Steve hours before and who Steve had originally thought was the leader of the group turned out to simply be a lowly ranking soldier; Steve couldn't help but wonder if his judge of character had been broken with his recent troubles. The two talked in hushed tones, speaking in code. This made Steve nervous, and as the scarred man walked over to him he tensed up and suddenly felt very worried about what was going to happen.

However, he was taken slightly aback when the gruff man stuck out a large hand and said,

"Welcome to our camp, Captain. I'm General Edward Wallace of the thirty-first British Armed forces. If you'd like to put your..." he eyed Tegan's pale face for a moment with a look of confused distaste, "_friend_ in the infirmary tents for some immediate attention that might prolong her life by just a few more hours, unless she's already dea-"

Steve instantly cut in, "she's not dead, sir."

General Wallace eyed Steve curiously, clearly not buying the fact that Tegan was still alive and not on the cusp of death as everyone so seemed to think her to be, he simply shrugged and waved his hand, "then get her to the medics."

While Steve was hesitant to take any sort of orders from this man, he knew he still needed to get her to anyone that knew how to patch up and clean wounds better than he did. Reluctantly, he turned and followed someone as they were ordered to take him to the healer's tent. Steve was marched through the majority of the camp, and he couldn't help but find it so strange that for a supposedly obliterated infantry they were quite large and living in rather destitute conditions. The stench of waste and death hovered over the camp like a black storm cloud. The more he saw of the camp, the less he trusted these people, but his caution was dissipated the moment he stepped into an oddly clean tent lined with mostly filled beds occupied by injured soldiers. He was told to put her down on one of the beds in the back by a pair of snappy nurses. Not the one to argue what needed to be done for Tegan; he eagerly placed her on the clean bed and stood back as the two heavy-set women hovered over her like hawks. Trying to peer around them to see what they were doing he explained quickly as one reached out to touch her,

"Um, I know it'll be hard to not touch her skin, but I might suggest wearing gloves."

The one with her outstretched hand snapped her head back to him and narrowed her eyes, "what, is she diseased?"

Steve furrowed his brow slightly at her attitude and explained, "no. I'm just saying that I've come into contact with her skin and some weird things have happened. I don't want you guys to freak out and not treat her because of what you feel. After all, shouldn't you be wearing gloves anyway?"

The other woman finally turned around and walked to where he was. Placing heavy hands on his lower shoulders, she pushed him towards the front of the tent and said, "yes, yes. We'll wear gloves. But we cannot treat her with you hanging around like an over-sized wart on a toad."

Had he been given the chance, he would have more than happily stayed behind to watch and make sure that Tegan was getting the care she needed, but it was made apparent that the two women did not like shadows following them around, and for as much as he wanted to fight being shoved out of the tent, he allowed her to drag him to the exit. What he was not expecting the second he was outside was for a heavy object to strike him at the base of his neck, causing him to quickly succumb to the darkness that rose up in his mind and dragged him down into a false, dreamless slumber.

When he awoke next, he found himself sitting tied to a chair with metal handcuffs biting into the flesh of his wrists. Blinking once or twice to chase the black that rimmed his vision away, he went to break the chain that held his two wrists together, only to find that his strength, for once, was not enough. How he had managed to get himself into yet another predicament that did not favor his eventual completion of the mission he didn't know. All he knew was that dread had gripped his heart and he knew that if he was here, then Tegan couldn't be faring too well. Looking around, he noticed the shimmering walls around him and curiosity instantly gripped him. Kicking up dirt at the walls, his eyes widened as the energy field shook and shivered as the dirt came into contact with it. The dirt itself was instantly vaporized the second it touched the barriers, and Steve knew exactly what was going on here. Turning his head a little farther to the left, he caught General Wallace standing with his arms crossed and an amused smirk on his face. However, he did not say anything and instead left room for Steve to exasperatedly ask,

"What the hell is going on here?"

General Wallace's smirk grew sinister as he replied, "what does it look like, Captain American? Surely you do not think this is a vacation."

Steve narrowed his blue eyes at the man and angrily hissed, "I thought you guys were a part of the British Armies! Last time I checked you guys fought for the United Forces!"

The general shook his head and gravely told him, "While the British army still fights for the losing team, the Wretched Division chose to change their allegiance three months ago to the highest bidder that promised they could feed our forces."

"I walked through your camp; you guys don't seem to be doing all that well."

The man huffed at this, "we're doing better than we were under the flag of the United Forces."

Raising an eyebrow Steve angrily asked, "was there much of a reason to tie me up?"

The chuckle that came from the man's lips was enough to answer all of the questions that Steve had, "well I'm sure you know now that your little escapade into the HADES headquarters hasn't gone unnoticed. The call came from my superior to send my men out to find you and your companion. While I cannot say that your travel buddy will make it back into Erik's clutches, I do not think he will mind that we now have you."

Steve grit his teeth and adamantly replied, "Tegan is _not_ dead!"

Edward rolled his eyes at Steve's obstinate attempts at convincing him that the woman that looked like she'd been treated more like a knife sharpening tool than a human being was not dead. They'd already gone and thrown her body out into the pile of other bodies that simply grew as the days went by. Clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth he said,

"That is aside from the point, soldier. I'm a little surprised that you have more concern for the woman you brought than yourself. You haven't even bothered to ask why we didn't just kill you when we had the chance."

With suspiciously narrowed eyes he angrily replied, "I asked about her first because she is my mission, and I will care about my mission first and foremost; myself will come second. I can take whatever you throw at me. It's not like there's a place that can hold me for long."

Edward raised an eyebrow and laughed, "you can keep telling yourself that, Captain. Either way, Erik should be here for you any minute. They were a bit busy cleaning up after your mess you left behind yesterday. We already radioed your capture into them, I'm sure they'll be happy to have you instead of that woman anyway."

Pulling again at the metal that bound his wrists together –mostly to no avail- Steve ground his teeth together angrily. How had his instincts let him fall so far? Had his naivety proven to finally be a fallible aspect? It burned him to think that his desperation to just get help had led him into this once more; but his lack of time to strategize had left him defenseless, and he had simply been relying on his pure instinct. He couldn't think of a time when he'd failed so badly at something, and it hurt to think that he might have just cost Tegan her life with his own desperate stupidity. Uneasily settling into the back of his chair, he opened his mouth to say something, but right at that moment a loud boom followed by the frantic sounds of soldiers outside sounded. Edward turned to pull the flap of the tent open to reveal a full scale battle before him. Bombs exploded and Wretched Soldiers were cut down left and right. A somewhat large force (large than Steve had seen in a while) stormed the camp with a clearly furious Nick Fury at their lead. Steve knew his Director to not be the type to get his hands dirty, and to catch glimpses of the angry one eyed man stomping across the grounds with guns raised firing upon all that opposed him was enough to tell the super soldier that his boss was very, very mad.

While S.H.I.E.L.D troops spread out and quickly detained the forces that fought against them, Fury stormed right up to Edward. The general appeared to be having an extreme change of heart in the face of the furious director. He backed up as the man approached and put on a weak and wavering smile and explained, "the Wretched Infantry is glad to have you here, Direc-"

Fury's curt voice quickly cut in, "shut the fuck up, Private Wallace."

Edward cowed away from Fury and whispered a terrified 'sorry' followed by a quiet, "_General_"

Fury's one eye trained on the dark haired man, studying him for a moment before cutting him down again, "I'm well aware of your once prestigious title in the British Army. However, we've been monitoring your actions and radio broadcasts for the last three months. We're well aware of your betrayal to the United Forces in this war and I can guarantee you that when I leave here you will not be of the same rank before I arrived. We had heard rumors of your change of allegiance and decided that perhaps you would provide us, unknowingly, with important information. In case you're wondering, you didn't do us much good and we know for a fact you've done nothing for the Central Forces either. Not to mention when you thought you were making contact with HADES, you were actually making contact with us. So really, your days as a general have been numbered."

Edward averted his stare to look at Steve for a moment and sheepishly said, "we were only doing what was going to keep us alive. The United Forces weren't sending us supplies!"

"Because the supply lines that supported where you were stationed last had been blockaded. I'm beginning to seriously wonder how a fucking idiot like you got your position. Anyway, I'm here for my agents, if you could kindly untie Captain Rogers and give us Agent Hollis back I might consider not shooting you in the head out of pure annoyance over you."

With quivering hands, Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out a device, upon pressing a few things on it, the walls around Steve disappeared and he scuttled forward and undid the captain before springing away like a rat the second Steve stood up. He offered Fury a curt thank you, grabbed his shield in the corner of the tent, slung it over his shoulder and rushed out of the tent. For the most part, the S.H.I.E.L.D agents had managed to wrangle in the majority of the Wretched Infantrymen and had all of them on their knees with guns pointed at their back; but Steve was not here for the men, he needed to go get Tegan. He marched with purpose and while it took him a couple guesses to find the infirmary, he finally marched through the flaps of the tent and was met with the worried faces of the two plucky women as they flitted between the beds of the injured men. They stopped in their routines to stare at him and finally one of them gathered up the gall to demand,

"What do you want?"

Narrowing his eyes at them he looked back to where Tegan had been, angry to find that she wasn't there, and demanded right back, "where is the woman I brought in."

Sourly, the woman replied, "out back where all the other corpses are."

Throwing his hands up in the air Steve spoke in a frustrated tone as he explained, "she's not dead!"

Reaching over he grabbed a blanket off of one of the empty beds and stormed out to the back. It did not take long to find the grotesque pile of deceased behind the tent. He felt sickened to know that Tegan had been included in one of their many dead. Pushing the rigid corpses of a couple soldiers off of her, he gingerly wrapped the towel around her and headed back to where he'd left Fury. Upon arriving back he discovered that the majority of the higher ranking officers in the Wretched Infantry had been handcuffed and were being boarded onto one of the many planes that had brought the small S.H.I.E.L.D army that'd launched the siege on the camp. Fury was standing beside the open hatch of one of the planes and instantly Steve walked over to him. Presenting the very much alive but unconscious Tegan to him he sighed and said,

"The plane that brought me here crashed…and I lost my locator…"

Fury looked at him for a moment before reaching out and patting Steve on the shoulder the way an owner would praise his dog, "but you got her back alive, you've done what you were supposed to do Rogers."

Steve looked up at the plane and smiled slightly to himself as he followed Fury up the ramp; they were finally going home. While his mission had not exactly gone as smoothly as he had planned, he had managed to complete his objective and that was all that truly mattered to him.

**Author's Notes: ** OK...so this one came kinda late, but OMG STEVE AND TEGAN ARE FINALLY GOING BACK WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! About fucking time, right? God, I love Fury. He's kind of a stone cold bad ass mother fucker. There's just simply no way around it. **littledhampir13**; daww, you found me out! You got it totally right ;D BUT WHAT HER EXACT POWER IS...you'll find out in the next chapter. And you're seriously too kind, but seriously 30 reviews for only having 12 chapters is sadly what I consider a lot for me xD **Jen Lennon**; IF ONLY...but if their locators stayed on, it wouldn't be as much fun now would it? **TheGirlThatIsBoderlineCrazzy**; I'm glad you say so ;D hope this chapter was good! **Mheetu**; your name is long and I'm not typing it out because it's almost 1 am so shut up e_e...BUT I'M SO GLAD YOU LIKE THE STORY~~ **Melibells**; stop it girl! You're makin' me blush :'D I guess you see now how the new group went xD But hey, all the bad has passed, right? Thanks everyone for the reviews and for adding this to your alerts/favorites and for reading! I'm going to be kinda busy tomorrow (looking at furniture because I'm moving into an apartment in two months, WOOOO) but I'll try to get another chapter up!

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	13. It's a long and lonely road

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

_It's a long and lonely road_

The end of any mission always seemed to be the most surreal thing in the world to Steve, especially the end of this one. To feel the plane lifting off beneath him and to look out the window and watch as the Russian wilderness he never really wanted to see again grew to just a small, never ending white expanse was one of the best feelings in the world. He'd always enjoyed a successful ending to any mission, but this one had proven to be far sweeter than he would have expected it to be. The hum of the engines was all that played between him and Fury. Occasionally he'd glance to the side where Tegan was strapped in, now wrapped in several blankets. He hadn't noticed it before, but her skin had slowly begun to regain a color in them that wasn't entirely rosy, but still signified life. If he looked close enough he could see a gentle and irregular rise and fall of her chest.

His busy mind burned with a million questions once more. With the peril of the situations now passed, he was alone in his thoughts. Erik should have killed her right away if she was just another S.H.I.E.L.D agent, he shouldn't have drawn out her torture like he'd done. In fact, he shouldn't have even been looking for the two when Steve had run from the compound; and yet they'd been hunted like dogs and fell into a cleverly disguised trap (he was still upset at himself for that). All of Erik's efforts should not have gone out to trying to pull an agent and Avenger back into his grasp. And then there was simply everything about Tegan that Steve had clearly never known. From where he could sit, he noticed the shiny new skin on her cheeks and forehead in areas that had once been angry, oozing patches of missing skin and exposed muscle and bone. Along with this strange healing, there was still the shock of emotion that had surged through his own body every time he had touched any of her skin with his hand. The proof that it hadn't been just him had come from one of the soldiers that'd made the mistake of reaching down to touch her.

At first, Steve had simply assumed that it was something Erik might have given her, but the continued occurrence of the strange feeling obviously meant that it was something more. While it did not shock Steve that he didn't know everything about the woman, he would have thought that it would have been accommodating for someone to have informed him of the peculiarities of the agent he was sent to rescue. In fact, he found himself almost annoyed bout at least not having known about her healing. If he'd been more aware of the fact that she could withstand far more than the average human being he might not have been so damn panicked to get her out of the compound. Maybe if he hadn't been so panicked, he would have had better time to prepare and weigh all of his potions. Maybe if he had time to strategize he wouldn't have gotten into such a mess. Maybe if he hadn't gotten into such a mess he'd be home by now. Unfortunately that was not how things had gone and while he could dwell on the 'what ifs' and cause and effects of it all, there was nothing that could really change how things had gone. What was done was done; what truly mattered now was that they were getting back home.

The more he thought about it, the more Steve wondered if the very fact that he had 'saved' Tegan would change anything between them. It wasn't like he particularly liked how she treated him and how he behaved towards her in return, but it seemed to have become a necessary course of action to avoid a total conflict with the scrappy agent. He did not do it out of desire to dislike the woman, she was a friend of Natasha's and he had truly tried hard to get through to her and like her. While everyone else in the group had quickly written her off as a nuisance best left alone and ignored, he'd made an effort –though a slight one- to be friendly and tried to welcome her into their circle of friendship. In the end though, it'd been her insensitivity that had shut Steve down that ultimately led to his slow deterioration of respect towards her as he witnessed the woman simply writing off just about anything nice done for her and continually ignored kindness towards her, only answering with bitter and acidic words and actions.

It was true that she was an insufferable piece of work that he might just be better off not trying to connect with at all, but Steve had seen emotion in her that was more than her overconfidence and apathetic sarcasm. While it'd been fear and horror mostly spurred on by whatever tortures Erik had imposed upon the woman, he found that he pitied her now more than he did before. What was worse was that in the back of his mind he couldn't help but equate her situation Bucky's. Granted, Bucky had far more heart and compassion for the world he'd lived in than Tegan would ever have in her lifetime, but Bucky had been confident almost to a fault. He'd seen a change in his friend after wading through hell to drag his friend back from what everyone had labeled as an impossible rescue mission. It was the change in Bucky that Steve now found himself almost foolishly hoping to see in Tegan.

The events of the last day finally washed over Steve and he felt incredibly exhausted. His stare had been fixated on Tegan for quite some time, and he hadn't even realized it until he heard Fury ask in a slightly gruff voice,

"Something wrong Captain?"

Blinking away the fatigue and straightening up in his seat, he snapped his head back over to where Fury was sitting and shook his head slightly, responding in a quiet and polite,

"No sir. Just thinking about things, I suppose."

Fury's question was cautious, "about what?"

Steve offered his boss a half-smile and shrugged, "I don't know. A lot of things, I suppose. Um, mostly having to do with Agent Hollis though."

Fury was quiet for a moment and wore no expression on his weathered face but a small disapproving frown before raising a curious eyebrow and questioned, "is that so?"

Not entirely sure if there were things about the woman that he was not supposed to know, Steve felt odd for asking what he was about to ask, but did it anyway and proceeded to reveal his curiosity with slight caution as he shrugged again, "yeah, I guess it's so. I'm just…I'm a bit confused about a couple of things about her, that's all. You know, I was always under the impression that she was just a normal human. You know someone like Natasha or Clint. The type of normal human that if you cut her, she bleeds; she heals slowly and is left with a scar. Sir, the state that you see her in right now is by no means even remotely close to how she was when I found her. She hardly had any skin on her arms and legs, and there were several large gashes on her face. The wounds on her face are completely healed now. I suppose I'm just curious about how that is."

Fury tightened his jaw at Steve's musings, once or twice his gaze slid over to where Tegan was laying quietly. For a moment, he sat quietly as Steve trailed off before lifting his chin slightly and flatly saying, "well, there you have it then. She's got accelerated healing."

Steve shook his head almost angrily at Fury's willingness to write off the oddities of the agent and said, "no, that's not all. When I first went to reach for her in the room that she'd been put in, I was about to check her pulse but the second I touched her skin, it was like being shocked with lightning, but instead of electricity, the weirdest most out of place feeling of unrestrained fury was all that I could feel. That's not normal."

The Director stared at him for a long, hard while. His one eye narrowed curiously before he leaned back into the back of his seat and brought his hands up to his face. Rubbing his eye and dragging his hands down and away from his head he finally shifted how he was sitting and leaned forward once more to growl at Steve,

"You don't _need_ to know what she is. No one needs to know what she is, and it'd do you good to keep what you think you know about her to yourself."

Steve furrowed his brow angrily and did his best to remain respectful as he almost demanded, "I think I have every right to know what or who she is, Fury! I saved her for goodness sakes; I experienced every single thing about her first hand. You can't expect me to just go on about my life with her roaming the Helicarrier and pretend that nothing's abnormal. You might be able to lie to yourself about these things, but I certainly cannot. Do you not, in your heart, think that I deserve to know?"

In a way, Steve found that he wasn't too entirely surprised about Fury's reluctance to give him the truth. It wasn't like S.H.I.E.L.D had been known for its candid tendencies. Steve didn't even want to think about all the other secrets that were being kept from the world, but he couldn't help but feel that it was unfair to keep him in the dark about something so potentially important. Fury was rather quiet for having been almost scolded by someone that took orders from him, instead he looked thoughtful. Finally he sighed and shook his head before telling Steve,

"She shouldn't have been let out of the Helicarrier to go on this mission in the first place, and I will take the blame for that mistake. I cannot tell you much about her nor do I really want to, but know that she is first and foremost an experiment that probably should have never gone through and she's not the only one that was involved in the experiment; she's just the only one that went through with it and survived."

Steve shifted uncomfortably and looked over at Tegan before dryly asking,

"What do you mean by 'survived'? Were there others that went through exactly what she went through, whatever it is, and they were what…immediately destroyed and she got lucky?"

Fury stiffened and defensively snapped, "_no_. She's the _only_ agent that completed the experiment and didn't die mid-operation."

After that, it seemed that Fury was reluctant to even talk to Steve and he found that there was nothing he could say that was going to make the Director tell him much more than he did. The little bit of information did not even get close to answering all of the questions that he still had burning in his mind, but he figured he was going to have to simply settle with the lackluster answers until he found a different way to get the information he now desperately and curiously wanted. For the remainder of the flight home, Steve simply remained in a thoughtful, frustrated silence. Once or twice he drifted off into a somewhat uncomfortable sleep, only to be jarred awake when the plane banked too sharply one way or another. Their eventual arrival on the Helicarrier was quiet and without much of a crowd waiting for them outside of the plane. Among the tiny throng of people that provided a welcoming group were the familiar faces of the Avengers with a teary-eyed Natasha standing in the middle with squared shoulders and a strongly clenched jaw, as if trying not to make it seem like she was about to cry, but the second Steve's feet hit the concrete of the tarmac on the carrier she rushed forward and embraced him before following the medics as they took Tegan off to recover.

Including the days spent behind enemy lines after Steve rescued her and the time spent in the infirmary on the Helicarrier, Tegan remained in a deep coma for three days. During her dreamless slumber occasionally interrupted by nightmares few people came to visit, though Natasha and Steve (surprisingly) made themselves frequent visitors of the healing agent. So it was no surprise that when she finally roused and came to, it was Natasha's lined and worried face that became the first thing she saw. At first, Tegan did not realize where she was and only felt someone holding her hand. Immediately she ripped her hand from Natasha and her breathing quickly accelerated. The sudden movement and springing back to life was enough to make the monitors that'd been strapped to her go off as her heart rate shot up. A couple concerned nurses rushed to her bedside only for her to anxiously wave them off. Taking a deep breath and releasing it in a sigh of overdue relief, she rubbed her face and deflated from her alarmed position back into her pillow. Holding her hands over her eyes for a moment, peering at Natasha from the spaces between her fingers, she finally brought her hands down and rested them in her lap. For a moment, the two agents simply shared a quiet, knowing stare before Tegan averted her gaze and defensively said,

"You can stop watching me like I'm going to die any minute now that I'm awake."

Natasha found herself sitting in a silent disbelief. She had heard from Steve what kind of condition she'd been found in, and she'd spent the last two days agonizing over it, and she had fretted over what kind of damaged person Tegan would wake up, but the fact that Tegan had looked away before speaking was more concerning to her than anything the young woman could have ever said to her. Withdrawing her hand from where she'd let it fall onto the side of the bed, she crossed her arms across her chest and softly said,

"I knew you weren't going to die, Tegan. Do I not get to be worried about you and what the mission did to you internally?"

Tegan's head snapped back to finally send Natasha a burning glare. Tegan hadn't had much time yet to agonize over the fact that she'd failed the one thing she shouldn't have failed. She didn't have enough time awake to feel Erik's cold knife slicing through her skin or his hand running up her thigh even when they weren't there, but already she found herself jumping at loud noises and dark shadows. She did not want to admit that she'd been damaged, and she did her best to hide it behind her stony façade, but she'd been too slow to right herself and Natasha saw it. Frowning at her friend Tegan hissed quietly,

"You don't need to be worrying about me. We've got a bigger fucking problem. Which reminds me," she swung her legs over the side of her bed in a manner that suggested she was about to stand up, "I need to talk to Fury about what I know. Actually, I need to talk to all of the Avengers. The shit that I learned is some serious shit." The many wires that hooked her up to several machines around her tugged at her skin and she stopped mid-way. Natasha quickly stood up and pushed her back into the bed and shook her head as she righted her,

"No, Tegan. That can wait. You just healed! I'm sure you're weak-"

Tegan immediately bristled at this and almost shouted, "I am not a failure!"

Natasha looked a little taken aback by her friend's sudden break. Blinking once or twice in surprise she slowly sank down to the chair she'd pulled up and said quietly, "I didn't say that you were a failure Tegan. The words never came out of my mouth."

Tegan, clearly realizing that she'd reacted in the wrong way only offered Natasha a sharp stare before snapping, "well your eyes said it all."

Shaking her head Natasha sadly replied, "no they didn't. Can't you just let someone care about you for two seconds?"

Tegan's resolve almost seemed to breakdown at this and she deflated slightly and slumped back into her pillows. Holding back what would have been a very loud sob she brought her hands back up to her face to hide the watery film that wrapped around her eyes and mumbled, "who the fuck's going to give a shit about the agent that couldn't even do a simple information reconnaissance mission? The agent that got tortured to what might have been an inch of her life…raped too. Yeah, I wouldn't fucking care about me."

Natasha's lips pulled into a hard line as she sternly told her, "I know that you just got back from a difficult situation, but feeling sorry for yourself about what happened isn't going to fix anything, and what happened to you isn't going to keep me from being concerned for you."

Tegan ran a shaky hand through her hair and sighed heavily, "I'm not feeling sorry for myself. I'm just point out the truth, so how about you stop trying to make me feel better?"

Irritated with her friend, Natasha stood up and made a motion to leave. Looking down at Tegan she said, "no amount of your snarky attitude is going to make me not want to care for you, but it is going to make me not want to be around you. I've got to go to a bit of training, I'll check back in with you later."

Tegan watched her friend go and suddenly felt extremely alone in the quiet, bright room. Sitting up more, she brought her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around her shins. The last thing she really wanted in the world was to be alone in a room she wasn't entirely familiar with. The monsters in her mind tasted the lingering fear that coursed through her blood and reared their ugly heads at the sign of her weakness. They gnawed at her limbs, making her feel heavy and immobile. She reminisced on how it was that she managed to drive away the only person that could stand her for more than a few minutes so quickly, agonizing over these details, she almost didn't hear the doors to the room squeak open. Tegan sat straight up like a startled meerkat as she looked at the door as it clicked shut, only to relax and sigh in annoyance at the person that walked through.

She had not been expecting Steve to come visit her, but only because she had yet to learn of the heroics that he had performed to bring her back to base alive. She didn't even know that it was he who had saved her as she did not remember the moment back at the headquarters when she'd woken up and screamed at him. Narrowing her gaze at him, she down at her hand and picked the I.V. out of her hand, watching with bored fascination as the needle slid from her vein followed by a slow trickle of blood quickly cut off as her healing did its job. The silence that fell between the pair was tense as Tegan went about removing everything that had her hooked to what seemed like every damn machine in the place. Once she was through with that she threw her legs over the side of the bed and went to stand. The second her feet touched the solid floor beneath her and she let go of the bar, she swayed dangerously on her feet and did not even notice Steve as he instinctively moved over to catch her as she teetered to the side. In his arms she looked up at him with a dumbfounded expression. Working to right herself, she scrambled out of his arms and grabbed the rails of the bed instead, leaning heavily against them she hissed,

"So I go and almost die at the hands of the enemy and suddenly everyone feels like they need to be nice to me? Like that one person at the office that everyone just found out has cancer, so they all suddenly feel the insatiable need to be kind and compassionate?"

Steve crossed his arms and couldn't help but feel belittled at her scolding. Here he had foolishly been hoping that she would change her calloused ways towards him. Of course, he'd seen the fear that had flickered in his eyes and the vulnerable position she'd been sitting in just seconds before she realized he had entered the room. That was at least proof that she was capable of some emotion other than her unrequited rage and detestation towards him. Chewing on the side of his cheek, he watched her for a moment as she breathed heavily and leaned harder against the bed. She was in no way ready to be standing, much less angrily talking to him while standing but he did not think that if he suggested she get back in bed she would take it very well. Instead he quietly said, "Natasha said you were finally awake."

Raising a curious eyebrow Tegan said in a dismissive and sharp tone of voice, "well she was right, wasn't she? Are you done now?" Without letting him answer, she let go of the bar on the bed and stumbled over to the dresser that she knew had extra uniforms in. The few minutes she'd had of resting while awake was enough and she was anxious to tell Fury what she had learned, not to mention she was certain that if she had any more time on her hands to reminisce on all that had gone wrong in the last couple of days she would only fall prey to her own internal demons. With little regard for the fact that Steve was still in the room, she jerked the hospital gown over her head and pulled the form fitting S.H.I.E.L.D suit on. Steve almost didn't realize what she was doing until it was too late and quickly turned his gaze away from her and found himself grateful that with her back turned to him she could not see the pink that rose up in his cheeks. However, he hid his apparent embarrassment well as he informed her,

"I'm not done here, Tegan. I'm certain that you don't know it, though it's entirely possible you do, but I'm the one that got you out of the compound."

At this news, Tegan whipped around stared at him with a look that might have almost mirrored appreciation. However, the look was quickly burned away as she shrugged, "do you want a hug from it or something?"

His patience was already wearing out with her and recovering torture subject or not, he would have though that there'd be at least a sliver of appreciation for her. Narrowing his eyes he sighed and did his best to keep the bubbling anger from his voice as he spoke, "no, I don't want a hug. Maybe just a simple thank you or something."

The two stared at one another for a moment before Tegan softened considerably after having weighed the pros and cons of for once being nice to him. He had gotten her out of the compound and out of Erik's cruel clutches, he'd risked his own life for hers. The least she could do was be respectful for at least one second. Stepping towards him, she held out her hand in a kind gesture and said,

"Alright, fine. Thanks for getting me out of that shithole."

Steve looked at her hand warily. He wasn't entirely keen on grabbing her hand so willingly, especially not after what he'd felt from her back in Russia. Still, she was offering it to him and it'd be rude if he did not take it and he was not entirely sure Tegan would take very kindly to him being a hypocrite. Reluctantly he grabbed her hand and mentally prepared himself for the shock of anger, only to be surprised that nothing happened the second they touched. Relieved he relaxed and squeezed her hand lightly before letting go and dropping his own to his side. She wrapped hers around her torso in an impatient stance as he looked at her awkwardly, not entirely sure what to say. Finally he simply shrugged and said, "I'm glad you're ok."

While he'd stood there quietly, Tegan had gone back to grabbing an extra weapon belt. When he mentioned that he was glad she was ok she turned to look at him with a suspicious gaze and tilted her head to the side, looking at him for a moment before saying, "that's nice." She brushed past him and headed towards the door, but Steve's next words froze her in her tracks before she could get out of the room,

"I know what you are."

His words seemed rushed, as if said in a panic to keep her there to allow him more time to think of something more tactful to say. But Tegan only narrowed her eyes at him and hissed, "no you _don't_."

Not having entirely thought through this encounter, he shifted how he stood and let the subject drop, but as she was leaving he asked where she was going. Shooting him a look that made him feel rather unintelligent she said, "I have a conference with Fury and I guess the Avengers to hold."

She didn't even bother to invite him to walk with her as she left. Steve stood there alone in the room, his mind reeling at their odd conversation. He kicked himself for having blurted out that last stupid statement and started towards the door, almost running over a messenger that'd come to tell him that he was needed in the conference room. He quietly fumed on his way to the room; if there was one thing Tegan was actually wrong about, it was that he really did know what she was. The only problem now became revealing to her, without getting shot, that he was in on her secret.

**Author's Notes****: **Holy fucking shit guys, I am so fucking sorry that this has come so late! My Thursday/Friday/Saturday was crazy as fuck! I can't believe that this has taken me so long, I feel a little ashamed to have left y'all hanging D: But yay! Tegan's finally back home, but the action doesn't stop here! Poor Steve, he's so awkward D: **littledhampir13**; well you guessed correctly, didn't you! Lol and yes poor Steve was really having a hard time, wasn't he? **Jen Lennon**; yes...safe for all of like two chapters! Haha, and I'm sorry you got mascara on your nose xD **aubrey1**; ahh, well this one was late..._and I feel so bad about it_. And well...you asked for her back so here she is! Bahah. She's such a fucker. **Melibells**; *uncoordinatedly dances with* Yes, you were so right! Well...maybe a couple years earlier they would have been good news, but Steve was a little late on that xD _No, you stay awesome_. **Kiwichan916**; well it's nice to see a review from a new face! You're too kind, as well! **angel19872006**; _so many numbers in your name_. And yeah, everyone just DIDN'T get it, did they? xD Well, at least Steve knew what he was doing! Thank you guys for your reviews, and I promise that the next chapter won't take me so damn long. If it does you guys have permission to shoot me |:

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	14. When you know you walk alone

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

_When you know you walk alone_

Tegan's resolve was slowly cracking; and like any good compromised foundation because of this her walls began to shift, change, and shake. She walked with her head down, focusing on the tiles that swept by beneath her and trying not to focus on the bubbling insecurities that burst out from her barriers and threatened to break all that she had painstakingly taken the time to mold herself into. Her wayward thoughts crowded her mind and almost pushed everything important away, causing her to focus on the smaller things that really did not matter right now. Things like how she'd so willingly driven Natasha away, or how Steve had been the one to be her reluctant knight in shining armor. It was meaningless things like that which made her trip to the conference room from the infirmary tragically short. Still, she couldn't help but feel relieved the second she felt the cold metal of the knob beneath her fingers and to feel the release of the door pushing it against her pressure.

She always found it odd how the air in any of the rooms was always considerably warmer than the air in the hallways of the Helicarrier. You would think that the place that housed more bodies would be the place where the temperature was highest. None the less, the second she was in the room she shed the jacket she'd grabbed on her way out, dropping the heavy leather garment onto the floor just off to the side of the door. By the looks of it, she had the room to herself for now. In a way she found this to be a little shocking since it'd been Nick Fury that had called the meeting. Of all people she would have at least expected him to be here already. Though, she was not complaining about having another few minutes (or maybe even seconds) of silence to herself before her life was thrown back into the fray.

For as much as she was already ready to go back to work, she was anxious about what the future had in store for her. Erik had drawn out all of her fears from her with the persuasion of his knife. He knew her every dark secret, and she deeply feared what he'd have planned for her. Of course, she could not get too arrogant of herself and expect a deluded war criminal such as Erik to focus on her but there was still the trauma so fresh in her mind. She worried about what would happen should they come face to face once more. Erik knew her inside and out; he was a mar on her otherwise perfect ability to remain closed off from the world. Still, there was part of her anxiety that came from the blatant failure of her last mission as well. For all the confidence she had, the doubt was beginning to win the war for control.

Stepping farther into the room with stiff and shaky legs, she ignored the growing weakness and instead reached out to run her hands across the smooth glass edge of the table that sat empty in the dimly lit room. Tegan looked down at the semi-reflective surface and stared at the feint reflection that looked back up at her with hollow hazel eyes. There was nothing different about her now than a week ago when she'd last left, at least not physically. She could see behind her eyes the fear and insecurities boiling so treacherously close to her thin surface. This scared her. Blinking once or twice, she looked away from herself and slowly walked around the chairs down to the farthest end of the table. Nostalgia welled up within her like a tidal wave as she reminisced on how she'd laid strapped to that uncomfortable metal table wondering if she'd ever see this room again, or any room outside of the black walls Erik had confined her to for that matter. Gratitude was a failing point of the agent's, and yet she couldn't help but feel just a little grateful for Steve's actions. Though what she could not figure out was why it had been Captain America and not the Black Widow that had come to her aid. She was certain that Natasha had a bit to do behind the reason why Fury had sent out a party to retrieve her at all. It seemed odd for her to have not been included.

Lost in her thoughts, she did not hear the door click open and closed and the second his deep voice filled the room, she almost crawled out of her skin. Swirling around on the spot, she almost crouched down into a defensive stance with her feet firmly planted in the ground and her arms raised. However, as she laid her eyes on her boss, she immediately forced herself to relax and swallowed down the panic that had risen up in her throat. Squaring her shoulders and lifting her chin, she offered the director a swift salute and said,

"Director Fury, sir. I didn't hear you come in."

Fury's one eye glittered with something that mirrored amusement at the way Tegan had reacted to his presence, though he could not truly find humor in the situation. A shell shocked agent was a useless agent, and though he had faith that in time she'd come around, they needed her _now_. Eyeing her curiously he asked,

"Are you going to be able to perform the duties you will need to perform, Agent Hollis?"

From behind her cracking façade, Fury could see reservations in her budding answer. Everything about her on the outside said that she could take on the world, but there was something suspicious about her hesitation that had him worrying; however she dispelled his fears when she shut up whatever emotion was threatening to overtake her when she forcefully replied,

"Failure isn't an option this time, Director."

Lifting his chin slightly he narrowed his eye at her, gauging the truth in her words for a moment before crossing his arms and simply replying, "you better see to it that you do not fail. I'm not going to back your unsuccessful ass up next time."

At the reminder, Tegan visibly flinched as if she'd been cut by a knife. It was a low blow from the director but she didn't expect anything less from him. In the face of her superior she was humble, but inside she raged. She told herself in a poor attempt to maintain control over herself and to keep the creeping uncertainty at bay that the mess up in Moscow had been something she couldn't have avoided. She so desperately wanted to point out that if she hadn't fallen into Erik's trap that they would not have important information about Erik's plans to end the third world war for good. But of course, she kept this all to herself and maintained an easy eye on him as she wrapped her arms around her back and tilted her head to the side to ask,

"Why did you send someone after me in the first place? I was prepared to die for my mistake."

Fury's face softened just a sliver before hardening back up as he begrudgingly told her, "a certain Widow wouldn't shut the hell up about you." He turned his back on her and she did not even bother suppressing a smile at the thought of Natasha spending a majority of her day pleading with Fury to send a team after her. But there was still a question that burned in her mind and she could not contain the bitterness that ran rampant in her voice with her next question,

"Why did you send Captain Rogers after me? Wouldn't Natasha have wanted to go more than him?"

Fury turned sharply around on his heels and studied the woman before informing her in a harsh voice that made her almost shrink away from him visibly, "perhaps you know this by now, but emotions are a fatal flaw in an agent, and the simple fact is that Agent Romanoff's undeniable affection for you and the way she was behaving about the entire situation would have jeopardized her and anyone that was partnered with her. I had originally had her in on the team to get you, but pulled her out at the last minute. Of course, I did not sent Rogers alone at first. It just so happens that he ran into a bit of trouble on the way to you and lost the small team he'd been put in charge of."

Tegan did not know whether or not Fury was telling her about the lives lost to get her back to make a point or just because that was how he operated; either way it made her slightly uncomfortable to think of the human sacrifices that'd been made just to get her back safely. She opened her mouth to say something but right as she did, Steve made a quiet entrance into the room. The pair turned to look at him and as he walked over, Fury placed a hand on his shoulder and introduced him to Tegan,

"I'm sure you've seen him around, but this is Steve Rogers; the man that saved you."

Awkwardly, Steve stuck out his hand in a friendly gesture, but Tegan simply let it hang there. Instead of being polite, she glared at his outstretched hand and only crossed hers across her chest. Her voice was mildly acidic with underlying tones of mocking respect,

"We've met."

Fury narrowed his eyes at her cold tone and forcefully pointed out, "he's been checking up on you and your status ever since he got you back to the Helicarrier."

This, Tegan did not know. She shifted her stance to one that resembled far more resentment than before. She bristled at the thought of him hovering over her worriedly like a fretting mother hen. She could barely handle Natasha's sympathy so how the hell was she supposed to deal with the pity from someone she'd rather not think about? Her voice was decisively cold as she hissed between furiously clenched teeth, "well that's a nice tidbit of information."

Steve's scowl deepened just like hers had at her venomous tone, however the stare down was cut short as the rest of the Avengers filed in, calmly chatting amongst themselves. Natasha was, for once, not at the forefront of the group but rather she hung back with Bruce and talked to him quietly, once or twice her gaze slid over to Tegan. Peering around the forms of Steve and Fury, she offered Natasha a tiny smile that might have represented an attempted apology, but the redhead was having none of it; she took her seat in a huff. With everyone in their places, Steve stalked away from the spiny, attitudinal agent to take his place beside Tony and Thor. Tegan remained standing and instinctively brought her arms around her torso as she felt every eye slowly congregate upon her. Fury directed her away to the front of the table and turned to address the Avengers,

"I know about as much about what Agent Hollis has to tell us as you, and for that I do not ask for your respect, but at least your attention. I have great reason to believe that a bigger plan than the one we were originally worried about has been brewing all along. It is important that you all hear what she has to say, and for that I will tell you now that it is Agent Hollis who is going to give you your assignment-"

Tony scowled at the dark haired woman and pushed up from his seat and started to walk towards the door, his irritated snarl filling the room, "hey, I came here to listen to real people that can get shit done without relying on the Star Spangled Banner man to rescue them from their shit. Not to be addressed by someone that probably can't even wipe their own ass, much less constantly forgets to take their fucking Midol."

Tegan's own harsh voice cut clearly across the room as she had started towards him. Every muscle in her body was tensed as she approached him. Standing tall enough to allow her to look slightly down upon the shorter billionaire, she narrowed her hazel eyes and hissed menacingly,

"I didn't come here to listen to you whine about what you do and don't want to do. If you don't want to help potentially save the world then that's fine; go busy yourself shitting excellence or something. Though, if you'd like to do the job you were hired for, then I would appreciate it if you shut the fuck up, sat the fuck down and dealt with where the information is coming from. I don't like half of you in here, and yet I'm not acting like a child about having to give you all what I know, now am I?"

For a moment, the two stood toe to toe and Tony considered his options. It was no secret that he was hardly the most agreeable when it came to new things. After all, it'd taken him an entire alien invasion followed by countless losses of human lives and the tragic loss of Agent Coulson to make him come to his senses and at least form a bond with the other Avengers. To him, Tegan was something new, and he resented change in his routine. She was something to be avoided at all costs, and yet here she was up in his face telling him to quit his shit. Rolling his jaw from side to side, he did not deflate in the slightest as he finally took a step away from her and turned to stalk back to his chair. Yanking it out from under the table, he dramatically flopped down in it and crossed his arms and waved a casual hand in the air as if to say 'as you were'.

Narrowing her eyes at Tony, she stalked back over to the head of the table where she'd been standing before, and pushing aside all crawling doubts of judgment she let loose the dreadful information that Erik had foolishly chosen to confide in her,

"As you all know by now; my original mission was to discover whether or not the leaked rumors in certain American and European papers about Erik Sunderland and HADES' next move being building a machine from the energy in stolen HYDRA weapons and bringing back the Tesseract. I can tell you all now that I watched the Tesseract make a grand return to the earth through whatever crazy German machine Erik had built to make this happen," she paused as she eyed Tony; he'd been sitting staring at her with a dismissive look on his face and she hissed at this, "is there a problem, Tony?"

Leaning back into his chair, he sat up a little straighter and rolled his eyes at her authoritative tone, "yeah. How the fuck did his crazy machine actually work?"

Furrowing her brow, thoroughly annoyed with the time-wasting question she shrugged and sharply said, "do I look like a scientist?" When he did not answer back, she went back to explaining her new knowledge,

"Unfortunately, the success of this action of Erik's is only the tip of the ice berg of bad news for the remainder of the war. Not only does Erik now have the unlimited power supply to make the weapons he stole work, but out of everyone on the planet right now aside from maybe Thor, he seems to have a vast bit of knowledge on how the thing works."

At the mention of his name, Thor scowled slightly and hissed, "he knows nothing about the stolen jewel of Odin."

Raising a curious eyebrow at his defensive statement Tegan only offered the Norse god a simple shrug, "yeah well apparently he knows it well enough to do exactly what he wants from it. But anyway, it's not the new weapons that we have to worry about; it's the fact that he's put up four large 'reactors' as he called them in major world city capitols. According to Erik, and I'm believing him on this only because he told this shit to me as he was trying to kill me and therefore did not expect me to survive to relay what I was told to all of you, when these reactors are activated remotely by the power of the Tesseract they will create a ring of energy that when aided by the help of several hundred smaller reactors that will vaporize basically anything in the energy ring. The four places he's put these large reactors are: Moscow, Russia, Dublin, Ireland, Lisbon, Portugal, and Ankara, Turkey. He did not tell me the locations of the smaller weapons, but that does not matter. I'm only assuming that if you can take out the larger reactors, the smaller ones will be less of a threat; if a threat at all. Now, if you're new to world geography, I can inform you that the four capitols I just listed create a ring around the entirety of Europe and a couple other surrounding countries."

She paused her monologue to test the face of everyone in the room. For the most part, everyone seemed to be slightly numbed by this news. They all knew that the hopes of winning the war were bleak, but the added news was something they had not expected. This new development, for now, made victory for the United Forces seem so much farther out of their grasp than it'd ever been. Taking a couple breaths to calm herself, Tegan finally made the point that everyone was too afraid to say out loud,

"If Erik is willing to vaporize almost all of Europe without pulling his own troops out, then he does not care what this war costs him to win. He's in this for total annihilation and if he succeeds in Europe, there's nothing that'll stop him from coming to the United States…except we'll have no idea where his reactors are. Fuck, for all we know they could already be here."

With the resources and persuasion the German HADES leader had, there was no doubt in anyone's mind right now that if he wanted to set up vaporizing reactors in America, he'd have no problem getting the job done. After all, patriotism and loyalty always has a price.

**Author's Notes: **Wow...these updates keep getting slower and slower; and I feel really shitty for that. But hey, thanks for continuing to stick with me and my unfortunately slow self, guys! **Melibells;** yes! The Black Widow has feels, ALL THE FEELS FOR TEGAN AND STEVE. Yeah, Erik kinda put a bit of a hurt on Tegan, didn't he? And seriously, you're so kind to me~ **papertowel1567;** first off, awesome username mang! And I think you're the first person to openly admit that you like a 'nasty' OC. I just figured that someone with a rough exterior would be the most compatible and able to change (in the end) for Steve~ **Jen Lennon; **haha, the day I make Tegan swoon will be the day she shoots me in the head, lol. Yes...I'm totally sitting over here stroking my beard, twisting my mustache saying 'FANTASTIC, SHE'S ANXIOUS'. But you'll learn about that in due time! **Kiwichan916;** well, I wouldn't be offended if for now you did not like her; but I can promise that her calloused and shitty attitude will start to wear away..._soon_. *looks at her in this chapter* ...hopefully e_e ANYWAY, thank you beautiful people for reviewing, and thank all of those that have been adding this story to their favorites and alerts, y'all are the best!

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	15. If I could hold back the rain

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

_If I could hold back the rain_

The Avengers shifted uneasily as they looked at one another around the table with a chilling silence settling between them. For the most part, they sat quietly because they were trying to process the amount of information they'd just been given, but in their faces and behind their carefully deadened eyes Tegan could see shadows of doubt flickering. Was it because she was the only one to know this without any other source? Was it her trauma that caused them to question the validity of her claim? Whatever it was, they were clearly considering writing her off as someone paranoid and suffering from post-traumatic stress delusions. Her skin crawled as she stood at the head of the room, feeling incredibly judged. For the post part, she ignored the gaze of everyone around her, but the one pair of eyes she could not help looking to for support was Natasha, and yet in the face of her friend she found nothing but adamant pity and uncertainty. In dismay, she felt her resolve begin to crumble further. She had gone to the brink of her death to bring them all back information that the United Forces so desperately needed if they wanted to score a major win in the books of battle history. She knew things about the inner workings of Erik's mind that most military strategists would give their right eye for.

Yet for all her hard work and sacrifice, her friend and colleagues were willing to write her off as 'traumatized'.

While they had not voiced any of their misgivings, Tegan was fairly affluent in the language of body and facial expressions. Even the most closed off and quiet words were screamed out at her in positioning of limbs and lips. She did not need to hear it come from their mouths that they did not think that she was telling the truth. After all, the plan that Erik had revealed to her was the type a comic book villain came up with. It was extravagant, it was on a large scale, and there was perhaps a chance that it wouldn't go off as planned. But that was what people did not seem to realize about the HADES leader. He had not started World War Three simply because he wanted power in the world; he started the war because he wanted everyone to notice him. He wanted to be the next big thing, and at this point if he was the next Hitler, it didn't even matter anymore. His objective was to see him mentioned in every headline, his name to be a common household haunt. He had gotten it through a world-scaled war, but he had gotten what he wanted and everyone was so quick to write him off as a deranged man with an ego problem, but Tegan knew better. He did not speak of his plans unless he was certain they were going to go through, and the way he'd spoken of his plot and generators made it seem as if they could go off tomorrow if he so desired.

As the silence stretched out longer, Tegan found herself wrapping he arms around her torso protectively and avoiding eye contact with everyone in the room. If she listened hard enough, she could hear Director Fury mumbling into a device, but his words were hard to make out and she could not tell by his expression whether he was a believer or skeptic of what she'd told them. Finally she sunk down into one of the chairs closest to her and asked Fury,

"What will we do about this?"

Her voice, usually strong and confident, was almost hesitant; as if she thought she already knew the answer. For a moment, Fury lifted the device away from his mouth and pulled his lips into a tight line and the two stared at each other before he rolled his head slightly and squared his shoulders,

"I'm going to have to check with inside forces we planted two days ago on whether or not this is the plan."

Frustration welled up inside Tegan. How could he need a second opinion when she'd been told from the mouth of the man in charge what was going on? Biting her cheek to avoid crying out at her boss in anger she huffed angrily and respectfully pointed out,

"Why are you going to need a second opinion on this if I was told this by _Erik Sunderland_? I don't understand why it's so hard to accept that maybe I might actually know the real truth. And trust me, Erik talked about this plan with such confidence that he was lying about it. After all, let us not forget that he honestly did not plan on me getting out of there alive to tell you all what I've told you. With someone as arrogant as Erik, don't you think that it'd be fun to fill your enemy's head with the knowledge of what they're leaving behind?"

From the opposite side of the table before Fury could rise up and answer Tegan's questions, Clint couldn't help but ask, "so you know how the enemy thinks now?"

Furrowing her brow angrily at him and his ability to look past the serious threat and instead point out her own arrogance and supposed knowledge of Erik, she was not quick enough to get a retort out when Fury's irritated voice broke above the sound of everyone's chatter,

"I'm going to need a second opinion because I do _not _need to waste my resources putting these generators out if they don't exist. Just because the HADES leader told you this does not give you absolute merit in your words. What you seem to think you know and what you actually know has a larger margin that you might think, Agent Hollis."

Visibly, she deflated with the verbal lashing that Fury was so famous for giving. Lowering her gaze she looked away from him and dared to ask, "so how long will this _second opinion_ take to get?"

Fury raised an eyebrow at her question and informed, "at least two or three days, depending on how quickly my agents can work. However, considering we're in a war and that these agents will be required to keep their identities secret, their mission could take them a few days longer."

Silently agonizing at this information, Tegan exasperatedly said, "but he could ignite the reactors any time!"

Fury narrowed his eye at her, "put yourself in my shoes, Hollis. We are on the losing side, and you have the information that could perhaps win this for us for good. Now, I've been fighting a seemingly losing battle for four years and I would be lying if I said I wasn't desperate for an easy, obvious victory; but you have presented something that's almost too good to be true. It is not that I do not trust you, it is that I need to know that this is all certain before I send the Avengers out to dispose of these reactors," Fury began to walk towards the door and turned back to look over his shoulder to say, "you will be the first agent I notify when I get an answer."

He placed his hand on the door to push it out, but a startling confession from the seated Avengers came loud, ringing throughout the room like a struck bell;

"I've seen what Agent Hollis is talking about, sir."

Tegan blinked hard at Steve. He was standing on his feet with his shoulders squared and chest pushed out slightly; a defensive and proud stance that she had not seen him take before. Suspicion lingered in her mind as she debated what motive he had for telling Fury this. Granted, she had no idea what he had seen and what he had not seen on his escapade into the base to rescue her, but he was the only other person in the room that had been inside the secretive walls of the HADES headquarters and if there was anyone else that was going to convince Director Fury that what Tegan said was true, it'd be him. Of course, Tegan was hardly his number one fan, but for a split second she felt deeply grateful for him sticking his neck out for her.

What she did not know, or anyone for that matter, was that Steve had seen very little as he'd run blindly through the halls in the HADES base. He had not known which way was left or right while running, and he had been so focused on getting to Tegan and then getting her out that if he had even seen anything that was remotely like what Tegan had described, then it was entirely possible that he had run right past them without so much as a blink of his eye. So, if Steve was a virtuous man that believed in honesty in everything he did, why did it matter to him that Tegan's words needed verification or not? Why on earth was he blatantly lying to his boss just for the sake of the woman's ego?

Not even Steve knew the answer, but it'd been done on impulse and now standing there staring at the curious face of Nick Fury, he realized there was no turning back. Thus, he only lifted his chin slightly as the somewhat shorter man walked over to him and stopped but a few inches away from him with a questioning expression on his face. He looked for something deep within Steve's blue eyes before folding his hands behind his back and took a step away to ask,

"You've seen _what_ exactly?"

Steve was no natural born liar, and had it not been his blind determination to appease the fretting agent at the other end of the room, he would have faltered and fallen over his own words so hard that his lies would have been blatantly obvious. However, he maintained a smooth voice and easy posture as he crossed his arms across his chest and said,

"Blue prints, maps, reactors. I opened a lot of doors in the headquarters and I believe that what I saw, though only parts to the puzzle, are pieces to the whole of Tegan's story. She has the words, and I have the truth to back it up."

Fury studied Steve calmly, looking for more answers beyond the confident truth in his voice. Shifting his feet a little he shrugged and shook his head,

"I'm sorry but, 'blue prints, maps, reactors' are not entirely specific answers. So I'll ask again, _what did you see_?"

Steve noted that his boss had an infuriating way of making anyone and everyone feel like they were a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, and he fought his own instincts that fought to let his skin uncomfortably crawl beneath the scrutinizing one-eyed gaze of his dark-skinned superior. Swallowing down his considerable amount of rising panic now that he was asked to provide real truth, he shrugged and said in a voice full of tension,

"As I went down one hallway, I kicked open the door to an unmarked room. I can remember clearly there being a map on the wall with stars placed on the aforementioned cities that Agent Hollis listed off, along with a few smaller dots on cities in Europe that were not capitols; I can only imagine that the smaller dots were part of the places that Erik plans to put smaller reactors. I can't remember exact numbers, but with the four capitols added, there were maybe ten or eleven dots total," inwardly he smiled to himself. The last time he'd seen a map hanging on a wall was back at Schmidt's HYDRA weapons manufacturing base with several cities marked on the map. Shrugging slightly to himself he continued on, "as far as blue prints and reactors go, I only caught glimpses of blue prints on various desks, but I'm sure one of them had to have been for these reactors, and I even passed by a balcony that looked down into a lab with something that was obviously powered by the Tesseract in it; and if Tegan's right about these reactors, they had to have been testing one because I can promise it did not look like a conventional stolen HYDRA weapon or new sort of HADES weapon. I even ran into Erik on my way in, and he mentioned having bigger plans for the war."

As he'd spoken, he'd grown more and more confident in his own lie and by the time he was done he'd almost believed the lie himself. Unfortunately, there was only empty truth to his embellishment, and he could only hope that Fury did not see past the obvious fabrication. The room was quiet and it seemed that almost everyone was shocked not by what Steve revealed to 'know' but rather that he had so readily jumped to the aid of an agent everyone knew he was at odds with. From the corner of his eye, he watched Tegan's expression change many times from confusion, to gratitude, and to anger. Fury, on the other hand, did not seem to be as moved by Steve's confessions as the rest of the room. He coldly stared at the Captain for a moment before rubbing the bridge of his nose and closing his one eye warily and asked,

"Are you certain that this is what you saw, Captain Rogers? I would hate for your sudden defogging of your memory to be falsified and for me to be sending them to do nothing, or maybe even into a trap. Do you believe that when Erik told you he had 'bigger plans' that he meant the reactors and plan to vaporize Europe as Tegan has told us?"

Steve swallowed hard and nodded his head while hoarsely saying, "yes sir."

For a moment, Fury simply stood there before waving a hand at him dismissively and saying,

"Then you may have a seat Captain," he began to walk towards the front of the room and shooed Tegan out of the chair at the head of the table and said, "go sit with the rest of them, please."

Not eager to disobey and knowing that her words being accepted as absolute truth perhaps hung in the balance and depended on whether or not she was quick to obey, she scrambled from the chair and with her back turned to Fury as she walked to sit by Natasha she looked directly at Steve and mouthed, "_What the fuck_?" Steve, aware of Fury's eye being on him, ignored Tegan's look. When she was finally seated Fury began,

"With the considerable amount of evidence that has been presented to me regarding the knowledge Agent Hollis almost died to retrieve and bring back to us, I believe that our only way of winning the next battle –and maybe even the war if we strike hard enough- is to shut down these reactors beyond repair. Now, we have the general location of these reactors, but that is not the problem. What our first main issue is that we have no real idea where they are. They could be in an abandoned apartment building, a warehouse, a school. Luckily for us, the methods we used to locate the Tesseract back when it was on Earth the first time have since been refined to pick up on the energy signature left by the Tesseract and the Tesseract only. I am assuming, as you all should as well, that if these reactors are meant to be accessed by the Tesseract, then they will have the same energy signature. Your mission, which you will all accept without arguing, will be to target the four main reactors and to shut them down and destroy them beyond repair. You will need to work qui-" Fury narrowed his eye angrily as Tony's hand shot in the air. Through a furiously clenched jaw he hissed, "this is not grade school, Stark. If you have a question, please do not feel the need to wait for me to call upon you; because I won't."

Sniffing indignantly, Tony shifted how he was sitting and questioned, "how are we supposed to shut down these reactors, exactly? I'm not sure if you remember the last time we tried to fuck with the radioactive Rubik's cube of destiny, but we didn't have a very easy time. We had to use that stupid spear of Loki's to shut the bitch off. And unless Thor's can magically summon the weapon, I don't think we're going to have an easy time doing what you want us to do."

Fury raised an irritated eyebrow and snapped, "Stark, are you and Dr. Banner not two of the most brilliant minds of our time?"

Tony and Bruce looked at each other, and while Bruce's answer was a shrug and a tilting of his head, Tony rolled his eyes and arrogantly said, "you already know the answer to that."

Raising an eyebrow, Fury asked, "I do?"

"Yeah, you do." Was Tony's short response.

Folding his arms across his chest Fury ridiculed Tony, "then I think you and Dr. Banner can figure something out. So long as neither of you get shot and Bruce can keep his anger in control, I don't think you will have much of a problem; do you agree?"

Realizing now that he had been drug into the perfect opportunity to be scolded, Tony sunk back into his chair and only offered Fury a slight nod, and leaning his chin on the flat palm of his open hand he looked away from the director as Fury went back to addressing everyone,

"Since Stark and Banner will be _busy_ trying to figure out how to get these reactors destroyed, I am going to add Agent Hollis to the team."

There was a tense silence following Fury's announcement, only broken by an annoyed sigh and sharp quip from Tony, "shall we call her Missed Midol?"

Tegan swiveled around in her chair to narrow her eyes at him but did not get a chance to say anything as Fury cleared his throat and said,

"No, you will call her whatever she asks to be called. I'm adding her to the team because you will be short two fighters, and it would be foolish of us to expect these compounds to not be guarded. I'm not asking you all to do this mission, I'm telling you that you have a part in this war and if you fail then we may as well give up."

Everyone looked at one another but no one complained or said a single word in retaliation against this. Accepting that they had taken the seriousness of this mission into their hearts, Fury informed them,

"You have two hours to prepare. You will meet me in the hangar at fifteen hundred hours and no later than that."

The group was dismissed as Fury swept out of the room with most everyone following behind. Tegan and Steve, however, seemed to linger. As he was about to step out, he felt a soft hand gripping his shoulder. Stopping Steve turned and found himself surprised to find Tegan being the one to hold him back. Instinctively shrugging her hand off of him he tilted his head and curiously inquired,

"Can I help you, Tegan?"

He noticed that by the way she stood; she was far more humble now than she'd ever been around him. Not even their encounter in the infirmary room had the humility that was present now. She had one arm wrapped around her bicep, closing her chest off from him in a defensively absent manner. Refusing to look him in the eye, she gazed hazily at a wall behind his head and mumbled a question,

"Why'd you lie for me?"

Smiling slightly Steve said, "I didn't lie. I just pointed out that you were being truthful."

Steve frowned as he realized that she was beginning to shut herself in on him and did not even flinch as she finally looked him in the eye and hissed, "I didn't need your help."

Pulling his lips into an annoyed line (and kicking himself for thinking that she was about to do something grateful for once in her life) he shook his head sadly, "you need a lot more help than you think."

Tegan eyed him and looked away again before quickly saying, "thanks then. I guess." She began to walk out and with more than half her body out the door, Steve angrily questioned,

"What the hell is your problem with me? I've not done anything to you to deserve this."

Tegan stopped and narrowed her hazel eyes at him and shortly replied, "if I told you, you wouldn't believe or understand me." She disappeared through the doorway before Steve had a chance to say anything else. Bringing a hand to his face, he rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose before walking out to prepare like everyone else, pushing Tegan and her strange behavior from his mind.

**Author's Notes: **Happy Friday, everyone! Here's a chapter to make your Friday just _that_ much sweeter~ It kills me (in a good way) how relentless Steve is in his quest to figure out why the fuck Tegan would much rather ignore than talk to him. **Kiwichan916**; hold out hope! She really will change. It's down in my FF chapter notes xD It'd make for a boring love story if the two destined lovers were to spend the entire story hating one another, now wouldn't it? And yes! You don't get a holiday just for fucking up your mission at S.H.I.E.L.D, and it's probably for the best, too. Tegan would probably have a minor meltdown if she was treated differently. **Jen Lennon**; haha it's _sssooo_ much fun, ins't it? D Ahh, well I wouldn't say I have THAT much of a social life, per say. Just a lot of role play posts to write and stories to Beta, that's all! Not to mention a SWATH (Snow White and the Huntsman) FF brewing in my mind |: _It's a busy place, my head_. **littledhampir13**; MOUTHY MOTHER FUCKER ISN'T SHE? And Natasha got annoyed with Tegan in chapter 13 for her refusal to be a normal human about her ~situation~ and blatantly refused Natasha's comfort that she was offering her. AND HOW DARE YOU NOT BE DILIGENT ABOUT MY UPDATES. Just kidding, I find nothing wrong with you reviewing late 3 Also...**Melibells** WHERE ARE YOU? ARE YOU DEAD? YOU HAVE MADE ME WORRIED SICK ABOUT YOU D:

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	16. Would you numb the pain

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

_Would you numb the pain_

For the second time in the day, Tegan left Steve's head fuzzy and his stomach full of hot, burning anger. It seemed that with her, he was taking all of the big risks and getting nothing from her in return. Interactions with Tegan were slowly turning out to be a 'fool me once, fool me twice' situation. Her prickly shell was beginning push deeper into his skin and regardless of how hard he tried to avoid it, he couldn't help but feel perturbed by her. He had clearly gone out on a limb to ease her discomfort in front of the entire group of Avengers when she'd been faced with Nick Fury's doubt by blatantly lying for her. He had not seen a single thing that she had talked about, the only thing that he knew was that Erik really did have something big planned ant that was it. However, he had instilled just a little bit of devotion in the agent's skills and had put his trust in her. Even then, apparently his blind faith for her had not been enough for her and she had already angrily brushed him off as someone that was clearly not worth her time regardless of what he did to try to prove her otherwise.

Why he was so eager to earn her trust and gain her friendship, not even Steve was entirely sure. She was not worth the trouble and the stress. He did not need to have his judgment impaired on the upcoming mission; and yet deep down he was determined to connect with her. Whether Tegan liked it or not, they had gone through something big and they now had a connection. Not to mention he knew what she and Fury were keeping a secret from the entirety of S.H.I.E.L.D and the world. If anything, she should be worried about the liability to her cover that he posed. Yet she was apparently unconcerned by the fact that his knowledge greatly compromised her secret. Granted, he didn't exactly know specifics about her but at this point he knew enough to have a general idea of the gifts she'd been granted (by science or nature he wasn't entirely sure yet). While Steve knew in his heart that he would never share the information unless he felt it dire to her survival or he was ordered to do so on her behalf, he worried was could potentially become of him should she come to her senses and realize that with him lay a danger to the continuation of keeping her abilities a secret.

While he was reluctant to admit it, he lingered in the dimness of the quiet and cool conference room longer than he should have. In fact, he was far too upset with Tegan than he would have liked to admit. He had already known that she was not someone that was easy to work with and he had already seen that time did not pass for her in the same way it seemed to pass for everyone else. She continued to act in an immature manner, with her stony and brash façade up as if failing to accept the humanity that was within her, the factor that made her a person vulnerable to more things than she was willing to admit. In a way, he pitied her. Not because she had been treated wrongly at the hands of Erik Sunderland, but because she failed to see the beauty in learning from her blunders and through this inability to accept failure she would eventually be doomed to repeat the exact same mistakes over and over again until the lesson finally broke through her shell of stubbornness.

Steve did not realize that precious time was wasting away the longer he fretted over a woman he knew in his heart he was better off not wasting his time agonizing over the small details. In fact, he didn't even realize he was leaning lightly against the door of the room until someone pulled it open and he almost lost his balance. Catching himself mid-fall, he stood upright and quickly apologized to the agents he'd nearly fallen on and excused himself from the room. He walked with his head down, counting the tiles that sped by beneath his feet as he wove through the metal-lined hallways of the Helicarrier. The mood of the entire ship seemed to have changed in the last hour since the meeting. It was like Fury had sent out word to everyone what the newest mission was and had informed those that needed to know what Erik's newest move in the war was.

In short, the tension was highly palpable and when he did look up to make eye contact, he found most everyone staring straight ahead, marching along down the corridors with purpose in their walk. While on a normal day without a gloomy nervousness hovering in the air, groups of agents and ship mechanics and other various S.H.I.E.L.D employees would walk in groups, idly chatting among one another about the weather or the war, but today everyone remained somber-faced with the new news. He wanted to reach out to them and tell them that the Avengers were going to stop these plans and that they were going to make a big victory and strike a wound in the side of the HADES group.

But doubt was blatantly in his mind. He could not shake the feeling that with the track record the last few missions had that this one would go very well. Sure, they knew general locations of where these supposed Tesseract-run reactors were, but exact places such as buildings or warehouses that they were put in was another matter entirely. And if that wasn't enough, it seemed that no one really had much of an idea on how they would go about shutting one down when they finally came across one. Fury of course had the blind faith that Tony and Bruce could put their minds together to figure something out, but obviously the two men themselves weren't even sure that they could manage it. Not to mention they would not only be trying to determine what made these machines tick, they would also more than likely be under fire and only covered by the spotty protection that the remaining group of Avengers could provide them. To sum it all up and perhaps even make matters worse, Tegan had been added to the team as a replacement addition to fill the hulking hole left by the absence of Tony and Bruce in the event of a fight breaking out since the two would be more focused on figuring out how to shut the reactor down without the entire thing exploding and killing them all. While Steve was certain he could work past his own irritation and that Natasha would not mind her, he was worried about what kind of ill-balance she would bring to the team. The bond between the Avengers had been a hard built one and Steve had already seen the types of things they could not tackle if they were not all on the same page. He was mostly worried about Tegan's obvious desire to be loose cannon in everything she did, determined to do it her own way.

Running a hand through his sandy blond hair, Steve finally arrived to his room and found that everything he would need for the mission was already laid out on his bed. Slipping easily into his uniform and fastening his boots, he picked up his shield and secured it around his back. Again, having few weapons was one of the perks when it came to preparations for a mission; he just didn't have a lot of things and since he would not need extra self-protection with fighters like Clint and Thor coming along, he only needed his shield to be an effective fighter when the fight finally came to them. Looking around his room as if trying to decide whether or not he was missing anything, he finally looked at the clock and realized he had a good forty minutes before everyone was supposed to be in the hangar for debriefing. At the thought of how he could spend his time not fretting over the future, his stomach rumbled hungrily and he figured that since it _was_ dinner time, a little food to fuel him wouldn't hurt. Pushing open the door to his room, he closed it quietly and made his way down to the cafeteria.

The line wasn't long and he gratefully accepted a small sandwich and grabbed a bag of chips. He scanned the heads of the crowd that sat sparingly at different tables in varying sizes, hoping to find a group of familiar faces to spend his last few minutes before submersing himself in the tension of his next mission. In a way, he did not want to see his teammates here. It wasn't that he did not want to spend time with them, but he knew that they would inevitably bring Tegan up into the conversation and without a doubt and more than likely without thinking he would jump to her defense without hesitation. Such argument would put him under their scrutiny and he would be forced to explain to his friends the complex feelings he had towards the agent. Steve was a soldier, not a man built for outward emotional confession but a man built to take orders and to participate in war.

Still, he was not entirely disappointed when he located Tony and Clint huddled at a table in the farthest corner of the room. The second they caught him staring at them, the two scooted away from one another and resumed eating. Curious with their actions, Steve decided that perhaps spending a few minutes with them would not hurt. Setting his tray down opposite of where the two sat next to one another, he slowly seated himself and looked at them for a moment. They returned his gaze before Steve took a bite of his sandwich and spoke through an ill-mannered full mouth (oh his grandmother would be so disappointed in how far his manners had degraded since joining S.H.I.E.L.D) to raise an inquisitive eyebrow to say,

"Well don't stop whatever conversation you two were having before I got here. You both looked very involved."

Tony pulled his lips into an unimpressed line as he sipped from a bottle that probably did not contain water and drawled, "oh, no. We're actually glad you're here."

Sitting back in his chair, Steve tilted his head to the side and forced out a chuckle to ask, "is that so? Hey, where's everyone else, did you guys run them off?"

Clint chuckled at this and shrugged, easily taking a sip of his soda, chewing on his straw before listing off where everyone had gone, "Natasha never came to dinner, I think she's having a girl talk with Tegan or something emotional like that. Bruce is doing research and Thor might be trying to figure out how cell phones work so that he can call Jane before we all leave."

Steve sat quietly for a moment, considering the whereabouts of everyone, suppressing a smile at the thought of Thor dealing with a tiny cellular devise and then tilted his head to the side a little and questioned, "so neither of you have seen Tegan or Natasha?"

Tony shrugged at the question and said, "does it really matter where Captain PMS and Lady Bitch are?"

Shaking his head disapprovingly at Tony's colorful nicknames he scolded, "hey, Natasha and Tegan have proper names; you don't have to keep coming up with your own."

Tony raised an eyebrow and folded his arms across his chest, "actually, Natasha has a codename, for all we know, Tegan might not even know what a codename is."

This was bad news, and Steve regretted making the decision to eat with the two before the mission because he could already feel the desire to argue with Tony welling up in his chest. Biting back a defensive retort he calmly inquired, "do you have a problem with Tegan joining the team in yours and Bruce's place? Because if you do, I don't think that it'd be wise for you to be frustrated with this the entire mission. We need everyone focused on this mission for everything to go accordingly and without a hitch."

Tony visibly ground his teeth together at Steve's words and sat back farther in his chair and pulled his arms tighter around his chest. He rolled his eyes at the scolding he'd just received and snapped in an ill-tempered manner, "of course I have a problem with being replaced by an agent who's current official mission track record isn't entirely stellar."

Furrowing his brow angrily, Steve continued to fight to keep his innate nature to rise up in defense of those who were being improperly slandered as he spoke to Tony through tightly gritted teeth, "what happened in Russia was _not_ her fault. I do not understand why everyone is so determined to focus on the bad rather than the good. Have you already forgotten that she has provided us with extremely valuable information that we would be probably even far worse off in this war without knowing?"

Tony had reached out a hand to tap his fingers in an irritated rhythm before pointing out, "I think that you put too much faith in this person and maybe even like her far too much for your own good. You're warning me about getting myself all in a knot over her? Well how about you stop trying to defend someone that a) clearly doesn't want to be defended and b) doesn't _deserve_ your defense. She's kind of a bitch."

Steve was a little drawn back at the sudden observation and he opened and closed his mouth several times; realizing that he'd basically been caught with his unnecessary, strange affection for the agent. Of course, he knew that it was no attraction that any good would come from. He knew full well that she, in the end, was probably only trouble. But he desired to reach out and connect with her on an emotional level. Each time he saw her, he was beginning to notice cracks in her precious façade and he knew that beneath all of the toughness there was a human being full of a wide range of emotions just waiting to be brought out. But Steve knew better than to openly admit this and though he knew his elongated silence had probably told Tony everything he thought he needed to know, Steve adamantly shook his head and insisted, "no, that's not what it is. I'm just a little more…aware of what she's gone through recently and I think that it's only fair that we all give her a chance to settle into the team before we all jump to conclusions and worry about what she'll do to the balance of the team."

It was weird to hear such lies coming from his own mouth, because even as he spoke he found himself worrying more and more about just what Tegan was doing to all of them, whether she intended to unsettle them as she had or not. However, it seemed that unlike everyone else, Steve was more willing to accept her than the rest and he decided that if he was going to go out on a limb and be accepting then everyone else should follow in his steps. Tony narrowed his eyes at Steve and shook his head,

"Oh, so you're _aware_ of her inability to be a good agent, then?"

Without even wanting to, Steve snapped at his friend, "how about you give her the benefit of the doubt of actually being a good agent? Fury wouldn't have put her on the force if he didn't trust her skills."

Clint was sitting quietly watching the two and he rolled his head to the side and offered them a casual shrug as he stood up and said, "I don't actually have a problem with her. I suppose I just don't see what the big fuss is with her. She's honestly just not someone worth wasting time on hating or defending. Especially when we have bigger things to worry about."

At the reminder, Steve felt a little foolish for letting himself get wrapped up in his own emotions over the obviously looming task ahead of them. Looking back at Tony he rolled his shoulders down into a less defensive position as he stood along with Clint and said, "sorry. I just think that you're being overly critical of her."

Tony rose up as well and though he was several inches shorter than Steve he defensively looked him in the eye and set his jaw into a hard line and said, "apology accepted, I suppose. I, however, am not apologizing to you. I think that you're being ridiculous over someone that as I've said does _not_ deserve your defense and my trust. I honestly feel like she'd much rather shoot me in the head than sacrifice herself for my safety."

Steve fought the instinctual urge to jump to her defense once more, but the last thing he really wanted to be doing before going on a tedious mission with the team was to be fighting with one of the members. He instead forced himself to let Tony's abrasive words roll off his back and motioned for them to follow him out of the cafeteria and down to the hangar where he was certain everyone else was already gathering. The three men walked in a tense silence created not only by the harsh words exchanged moments before, but also by the urgency that made the air around them heavy. They all knew that if this mission did not go well, they might as well give up the war. It did not really take them all that long to descend to the lower levels where they would be taking off from, and as they eased through the heavy metal doors, they found that almost everyone else was gathered. Bruce and Thor waited patiently beside a tired-looking Nick Fury, and shortly after the three men walked in, Natasha and Tegan followed them in, walking in sync and rather close to one another. If Natasha was still mad at her friend for her previous behavior she no longer showed it. Rather, her face had locked down into a state of apathetic indifference that she put on when a serious mission was pressing down on her and demanding her utmost control and discipline. While they all gathered closely to one another, Tegan stood firmly on the edge of the group, determined to keep herself separated emotionally and physically from everyone. Her keen hazel eyes met the gaze of everyone around her, and while Steve tried to hold her stare for a little bit longer than she'd held the rest, he quickly lost her attention as Fury began to speak,

"I am glad to see that you have all still retained your ability to assemble in a timely manner and without any major issues. While you all may know your preliminary mission, I am going to inform you all of a few specifics that we have refined since you were assigned this job. The first being that Dr. Banner and Mr. Stark are to avoid conflict if possible, though I would prefer if you, Tony, were in your armor for the entirety of the mission. It is important that Stark and Banner are to focus on disarming the reactors without damaging it to the point where it is an unstable threat to the rest of the team and the surrounding areas. This is imperative because I will remind you that Erik did not place these in random, middle of nowhere places, he put them right in the middle of everything. Secondly," he handed one small boxy device to Tony and a similar one to Bruce, "those instruments will help you pinpoint the exact location of the trackers. We have finally perfect the wavelength that the energy given off by the Tesseract and all weapons and other machines made from it. Those will pinpoint exactly where the reactors are. I don't think I need to remind you all what is at stake here, but in the event that I do, keep this in mind: what you do and don't accomplish on this mission will heavily determine our fate in this war. We have been led to believe that if even two of these reactors are left intact, there will still be a considerable amount of damage to our ally's home grounds and even though it would only be a half success for HADES, there is no doubt that Erik would take this somewhat achievement and bring his reactors to America. It is imperative that you find a way to shut all of them down before Erik finds out what you are doing and activates them whether the rest of the smaller, supporting reactors are ready or not. If you are all ready then it is time for you to head out."

Everyone looked amongst themselves and without a single word, a heavy shadow of importance and dread settled in the hearts of each Avenger as they settled into their duties and boarded the plane. Tegan was the last to climb into the belly of the plane and Steve noticed a slight hesitation in her movements as she leaned forward to swing the heavy door of the plane shut. However, he did not have much time to consider the meaning of this and took his eyes off of her to focus on buckling the belt of his seat as the engines of the plane roared to life and propelled the team off of the slowly moving Helicarrier and out into the inky night sky. If anyone wanted to turn back now, it was too late. The beginning of what could possibly be the mission to end the war had begun.

**Author's Notes: **WELL. As promised, even though I'm also writing another story, I am still keeping up on this one! I don't think I could even abandon this story if I tried ;) So...I kind of just want to be pathetic and gush for a moment how as of right now, this story is my most popular story! Though with a somewhat small 48 reviews, I could not be more thrilled with the number, especially considering my only other highly-reviewed fiction has the same number (and is complete). Thank you guys all so much for the continued support, I love you all! **Melibells**, it's good to see that you're alive! :'D YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE ON ME LIKE THAT AGAIN D: Haha, I really am liking Steve's odd desire to protect and defend her~ **Jen Lennon**, yes...this _is _Steve we're talking about xD And thanks bb! **Kiwichan916**, ach, see! I told you she had human qualities to her that make her slightly redeemable! And well, considering she might have been unconscious for half of her torture, she could have all dreamed up what she said ;D **aubrey1**, WELL HAAY GIRRL~ haven't seen you around in a while ;) and yes! Tegan's finally coming around..._sort of_. I certainly did promise that we would start to see a character breaking her tough girl mask. So you know...gotta keep my promises, right? And you'll just have to continue to read and see what happens, now won't you? :D **workreadplay82**, aww, you're so sweet! I'm glad you've found this story too! I hope that you continue to read this story and stick with it to the end. I'm also very thrilled that you enjoy Tegan. I understand that she's a bit of a difficult character to relate to. Anyways, as always I thank you all for your reviews and for everyone that's adding this to their alerts and favorites list...and thanks to those that are adding me to your favorite author's list! It really means a lot to me~

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


	17. If I could help you forget

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

_If I could help you forget_

A grave silence fell between the group of seven agents as they sat and waited for their plane to take them to their first destination. Most everyone sat close to one another and conversed quietly. But Tegan, ever determined to remain the loose end of everything, had situated herself as far back in the plane as she could possibly manage. With closed eyes, she leaned against the metal hull of the plane and let the hum of the engines lull her into a light state of slumber. Her mind bounced with several different thoughts and ideas. Most of them pertaining to the shadows that Erik had planted in her, of the things he had made her grow to fear. But some thoughts drifted to how she was going to manage to do her job. They'd assigned her with the duty of specifically seeing that Tony and Bruce did not fall under any sort of attack while they were working to figure out how to shut down the reactors without setting the thing off. Normally, she wouldn't have found this to be that difficult of a job, but her own reservations against Tony (Bruce she had no underlying problems with) threatened to compromise her. Deep down, she knew that she would be able to hold back her own reservations towards saving or blocking things from Tony Stark if the time came, but on the surface she worried about her own humanity and whether or not she'd actually take a bullet for him.

Tegan was an unfortunately selfish creature, and for as much as camaraderie meant to her so did saving her own skin. It wasn't uncommon for her to be constantly conflicted on missions over who to save first: herself or her partner. Usually, she battled the urge to run and rescue herself long enough to overcome it and do what she was trained and paid to do. However, this had not always been the case. Many a mission had been forfeited to her own inability to control her self-centered tendencies. Granted, it wasn't like every mission she'd taken on when she was younger had ended up so badly, but two was enough to give her a bad enough reputation to warrant worry from anyone unfortunately paired up with her. In time she matured and learned to hide her inhibiting selfishness, and while you could cover up something effectively, there was always the test of time that the walls built had to withstand. For Tegan, as the years dragged on, her acidic attitude dissolved any inhibitions she'd had towards maintaining a selfless persona. In the end, her argumentative mind-set beat out any altruism that she ever had. If the six Avengers knew of her previous failures and seeming inability to risk her life for others, they didn't exactly say anything about it. Though, she knew full well that she had not spent the last three years making friends with them enough for the plane ride to be comfortable. When she should have been busy establishing herself as a trustworthy member that wouldn't throw off the balance the group of fighters had been working so hard to establish, she was instead tearing down all trust and burning as many bridges as possible.

It wasn't like she actually meant it; it was just that her habit of creating dissention in any group generally went unnoticed by her. Her arrogance far exceeded her ability to reflect internally and accept her flaws. Yet for as much as she made herself an outcast and sat on the edge of what everyone else had, she looked in on the camaraderie that the Avengers had and craved closeness like that. She wanted to be able to sit down with a group of people and find comfort in their presence and know for certain that they would sooner stab themselves in the back than stab her back. For the time being, this was not going to be possible for Tegan. The saying 'you give what you get' very much applied to her, and Tegan did not give very much to anyone; even though she demanded a great deal of everyone else.

So to say that she was surprised when Bruce Banner finally dislodged himself from the quietly talking group to carefully walk to where Tegan was sitting and ask if she minded if he sat with her would be a little bit of an understatement. Of everyone in the plane, she would not have expected Bruce to be the first person to break the ice that she'd put between everyone. Her hazel eyes gave him a steely gaze of indifference and flickering suspicion as he offered her a smile and sat down across from her. Curling up farther into the back of her seat in an effort to continue to distance herself, she tilted her head to the side and studied him as he situated himself. She'd never actually been this close to the infamous Dr. Banner and the only times she'd ever actually seen him on the Helicarrier had been in passing and in the dim meeting rooms and occasional meal time visits when she felt the need to be right in Natasha's face about something.

He had curly black hair with traces of silver –no doubt from stress-, lines of age creased his face, and yet for someone that harbored such a burning anger within him, he seemed almost painfully at peace with the world. Though, Tegan figured that he had no other choice but to find concord in the chaos that reigned around him. Clenching her jaw she waited impatiently as he reached under his seat and pulled out a leather bag and placed it on his lap. Methodically, he began to draw out what looked like a sketch pad, note book, and a pen and pencil. Screwing her face up in an expression of confusion as she failed to see where he was going with all of this, she instantly jumped to conclusions and loudly barked,

"If you want to do a therapy session, you can just fuck off. I'm fine."

For as rude and angry as her assumption was, Bruce only smiled and shook his head as he continued to set up a little work station around him and replied to her in an even tone,

"A clever hypothesis, Tegan, but I'm actually not interested in your psychology."

As she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at him she jerked her chin upwards in curiosity of the pads of paper he had laid out on his lap and apprehensively questioned,

"Then what are those for?"

In response, he offered her a small smile and a soft-voiced answer, "I'm curious to see if you remember exactly what the machine that brought the Tesseract back looked like. I'm simply trying to be a little more prepared than being dropped into a warzone not knowing what I'm working with. Any little detail you can give me will help."

Blinking once or twice at him, it seemed that Tegan instantly warmed up to him and relaxed a little bit; almost relieved that she wasn't going to have to defend herself or talk about her 'situation'. The last thing she really wanted was to be evaluated on a plane on the way to a very important, potentially fatal mission. She was grateful that finally someone was focusing on the information she could provide rather than the hindrance she posed. Leaning forward a little bit she looked at the pad of paper and began to describe with a hesitant sort of mannerism as to what she could remember. Once or twice she closed her eyes and tried to picture being in the moment. She could remember the rush of adrenaline and equal shot of fear that tightened around her heart and throat as she witnessed in awe of what was going on before her eyes. In honesty, she had not paid all that much attention to the actual machine, but she did her best to provide Bruce with what he wanted to know. By the time they were still discussing the details of the machine an hour later, she had moved to sit next to him and had taken the sketch pad into her lap in an act of impatience. She erased lines that were wrong and redrew what she could remember.

Pulling it back a little bit she examined their handiwork and Bruce began to theorize what it was and how it worked. He spouted out all sorts of science information that Tegan had no idea of what it meant, but her curiosity kept her glued to the seat as she watched him begin to write out complex algorithms and theories on his note pad with a pen, furiously scratching out anything that he deemed pointless. Once or twice, she asked what a certain symbol meant and listened intently as he patiently took the time to explain to her in every day terms of what it was and how it posed as a variable or constant in the equation. While she didn't exactly understand most of what came out of his mouth, she felt a strange sort of satisfaction to know that it wasn't just crazy magic or her imagination that'd caused her to see what she'd seen at the compound; rather it was just a bit of astrophysics and laws of physics that made the machine summon the universe's most powerful known weapon appear in a room on demand like a movie on TV.

What the pair did not notice was the group of five other agents sitting and watching in strange confusion as Tegan hardly made a rude quip about the good doctor or his anger management issue. Natasha seemed a little less shocked than everyone else and once or twice confirmed that she had always tried to tell them that Tegan wasn't exactly a hardened bitch with the absolute inability to reciprocate curiosity and respect. She explained that it was just something hard to come by. Of course, Tony pointed out that Bruce had managed to sit near for over an hour now, and not a single bad word had come out of Tegan's mouth and therefore that meant that he was either a demon whisperer or his own radiating anger canceled out Tegan's equally bad attitude. Thor and Clint did not seem to show much interest, as they voiced that they were far more concerned about the impending mission and whether or not Tony and Bruce could actually cut off the reactors without blowing up wherever these things were being kept with them in it.

What no one really seemed to notice, however, was Steve's flickering frustration as he watched the two at the back of the plane. He tried so hard to not be jealous of Bruce; but what he had been fighting for from Tegan ever since he'd brought her back from the compound barely alive, Bruce had gained in less than five minutes. From Steve had observed, Bruce had done nothing different than Steve had been doing. He gave her unearned respect and didn't bother judging her for what everyone else was eager to judge her on. So what had Bruce done that he could not see that made the otherwise icy agent warm up to him so quickly. He would never voice his envy, but before he realized what was happening, it started to settle in and eat him up. In danger of dwelling on it for the rest of the mission, he quickly averted his eyes and shook his head. Leaning forward he placed his head in his hands; how hard was it to ask for a slight extension of friendship from Tegan or even a shred of respect when it was now obvious that she had the ability to recognize someone as a non-threat to her and warm up to them immediately? For Steve, apparently it was impossible. In a way, he was curious how she would react to Clint or Thor alone in such a situation, but his desire to figure out whether or not it was a 'just him' situation had to be abandoned as Bruce thanked Tegan for her time and walked back over to where everyone else was sitting.

Tony eyed his friend for a moment and starkly said,

"You are a god damn snake charmer, you know that?"

Bruce furrowed his brow slightly, having missed out on the conversation that'd been held between everyone to exactly understand what Tony was getting at. It also didn't help that he'd never actually minded Tegan's presence. Sure, he found her annoying and a bit brash, but in the end he never found much resentment towards her within himself like Tony seemed to. Shrugging finally he just sat down and dismissed Tony's dry comment and began to explain what he had postulated based on the information he'd been given.

Steve tuned out their musings half-way through, as he'd lost the meaning of what they were saying several minutes into the conversation. After all, his main concern was not the physical shutting off of the reactor; it was protecting Tony and Bruce as they worked to cut it off and warding off any attacks that came their way. Sitting up, he leaned his head back into the back of his seat and fell into agonizing assumptions about himself and why Tegan was so eager to avoid and be angry with him when he had actually not done a single thing to warrant such behavior from her. After all, did he not deserve having her act pleasant towards him? He'd saved her life; all Bruce had done was assure that he wasn't going to psychoanalyze her. Where was the fairness in that? Closing his eyes, he did his best to pull away from his self-degrading thoughts and instead focus on the impending mission.

After having set off a seemingly surprising reaction within the Avengers pertaining to her reaction towards Bruce, once the initial chatter of how he'd managed to do it –with Tony loudly talking about her as if she wasn't in the plane or within earshot- they all eventually settled down into a morose silence as they waited for the plane to arrive in Portugal. Once or twice, Tegan let her gaze slide over to Steve. He sat quietly with his eyes closed and his head pressed up against the back of his seat. His normally neutral face wore an expression of something that might have been a mix of confusion and anxiety. Not knowing any better, she simply assumed that it was his worry over their task. It wasn't like they'd been given something easy to do. This was no information reconnaissance mission, this was a plan to bring down the biggest leg that the Central Forces had to stand on, and if they managed to take it out, they all assumed that HADES would fall and the war would come to an abrupt and much needed end.

The hours stretched out into an unbearable amount of time as everyone slowly began to grow more and more anxious to arrive for their first mission. Eventually, the pilot announced that they were entering Portugal air space. From there, activity seemed to increase in the group of seven people as they all began to prepare themselves for the parachute drop down into Lisbon. As everyone eagerly gathered in the back of the plane by the hatch where they'd be dropping out from, Steve remained seated, quietly with his eyes closed. To the untrained eye, he seemed to be sleeping, and Tegan made this unfortunate mistake as she stalked back to where he was sitting and with a half-kick, half-nudge on his shin and said,

"Hey, Captain Apnea, we're about to drop out. You should probably get up."

Snapping his eyes open, Steve didn't even mean to be so hostile towards her as he hissed through clenched teeth,

"I wasn't _sleeping_."

A little taken aback by this attitude she took a small step back and wrinkled her nose in distaste, but she didn't offer him much more than a shrug of her shoulders and a simple, "if you say so."

Turning, she walked back to where everyone else stood and shrugged her parachute pack on and leaned against the metal hull of the plane. Once or twice, her gaze shifted back to Steve who was now standing up and was carefully securing his shield onto his arm and his parachute onto his back. The way he moved hinted a greater annoyance than he was letting on, but Tegan didn't have the extra energy to devote to caring about what Steve (or anyone else) was feeling about the task ahead. All she had time for was to worry about how she was going to manage to sacrifice herself for the safety of others and completion of the mission.

Finally, the hatch of the plane opened up, and like birds pushed from the nest they all filed out into the cool night air. The darkness consumed them and they dropped down at the edge of Lisbon in total discretion. Ditching their parachutes and securing everything they needed without backpacks to themselves, Bruce turned on the locator that'd been designated on finding the energy signature, they were all pleasantly surprised to find that the route they'd have to take to wherever this thing was being held. Silently they slipped through the little outer communities that surrounded the city. For the most part, the small party was quiet, all of them anticipating the fight that was certainly going to be coming their way. Their walk was barely five miles when they came across a heavily guarded, yet seemingly deserted warehouse. A quick survey of the area proved to reveal information of three guard towers with what looked like flood lights and machine guns on them. With a little help from Tony in his suit, Clint perched himself at the top of one of the trees outside the warehouse and made quick work of these towers. Confirming that the coast was clear, Steve ordered everyone through a hole he'd had Tony melt through the electrified fence. Silently, they stalked through the shadows cast by the lights all around the compound, avoiding groups of guards on nightly patrols and managed to break into the main building that the tracker suggested the reactor was being kept in. They all slid into the cold room only lit by the blue light emanating from the reactor in the center of the room.

It seemed that almost everyone was staring up at the massive machine that reached from the floor to the ceiling, with wires, tubes, and vents protruding from both sides with a dreadful awe. Immediately, Tony and Bruce began to carefully edge around the room, taking caution to step over wires and other parts of the potentially unstable reactor. Everyone else spread out and poked around the other entrances, ready to secure them and keep anyone out while Tony and Bruce worked on shutting the thing down. Having been charged with 'protecting' two men who were considerably capable of fending for themselves, Tegan followed behind them as they edged around the room, poking at things and talking amongst one another about possible sources that powered the reactor. Again, they began to talk in a fast pace about a lot of things Tegan didn't understand and most of their babbling and instead merely gripped the handle of her gun harder and tensed up, ready to spring around and defend what she was supposed to defend at a second's notice.

Having been so focused on following them that she did not even realize that Tony and Bruce had stopped walking all together and with her head turned to the side, she ran right into the hard metal of Tony's suit. Reeling backwards, she hissed and snapped angrily about them warning her when they were stopping. However, she was paid no mind as the two men bent over a complex looking keyboard with no screen. Before Bruce could say anything to stop him, Tony reached down to press a couple commands on the keyboard. Unfortunately, this did not seem to be the right thing to do, as all of a sudden the entire room went dark and a red flashing light in the corner of the room began to blink rapidly followed by an ear-splitting siren. Over the sound of the alarm, Tegan could heard Bruce scolding Tony,

"Why did you do that? Why _would_ you do that?"

Looking from his friend to the keyboard and then back over his shoulder at the reactor he said sardonically,

"I regret doing that."

The sounds of scuffling behind her caused her to turn around, only to find a throng of guards fighting to pour into the doors and barely held at bay by the remaining four Avengers. Her gaze darted around the room as she searched for any other doors that guards could possibly come in from, but when her sweep came up negative for extra entrances (also meaning that their only ways out were blocked too), she focused instead on the few guards that were managing to get past the others and taking aim with her gun and shooting them down before they could make attacks on anyone else while equally dodging bullets and streams of blue light from whatever weapons HADES had provided their guards with. Narrowly avoiding a potentially crippling shot from one of the said weapons, she briefly took the time to scream above the sounds of chaos at Tony and Bruce as they diligently and frantically worked to break whatever code was protecting the reactor,

"If I have to literally take a bullet for you, Tony Stark, I'll fucking kill you, you're an impatient ass hole and I hate you!"

**Author's Notes: **Jesus, Tony! Y U SO IMPATIENT? D: But hey, how are you guys? Sorry that this is so late on getting uploaded...but let's just enjoy the fact that I actually got off my tired ass to write! Sorry it's a little cliffy, but I felt that this was kinda the better place to stop. Hehe. **littledhampir13**; oh no! Well, I'm not very happy to hear that you broke something in your foot :c That does not sound very much fun at all. Yes, I definitely thought that the story could use a bit of a cutesy break to slowly start creating _something_ of a basis for Steve and Tegan, haha. And it's really only Tony that's so opposed to her, they'll warm up to each other eventually ;) and yes! Thor is here. He just hasn't said or done much, haha. Thank you for the compliment! Sorry these are coming so slow :c (and yes, that's a great quote!) **blown-transistor**; you changed your name! I was a little startled to see that lol. And yes! He'll have an 'eureka' moment here eventually, x3 **Melibells**; I'm really seriously growing attached to Steve as a character. The more I write him, the more he grows on me. He has so much potential to be _everything_. He's certainly the most 'human' character. And by that I mean it's like he's the most connect to his humanity, in a way. I mean Natasha and Clint are humans too, they're just slightly removed and Tony and Bruce have issues. And yes, that's basically what I have gathered from Tony's dislike for Tegan, also aside from the fact that she's as mouthy as he is, lol! You stay awesome too! **aubrey1**; hah, well would she be Tegan if she did anything differently? Lol. Yes, being attached to Tegan isn't exactly easy. But now that he recognizes this, hopefully he'll make things easier on himself. Psh, but would Steve REALLY know what to do if she jumped his bones? Ahh, such funny thoughts. **Astrokinetic**; aww, you're too sweet ;u; I hope you stick around for the rest of the story! Anyway, thanks you guys for reviewing, and oh my gosh so many new people have added this story to their alerts and favorites, I can't get over it! It's so awesome! Thank you all! I promise to not make y'all wait so long for the next chapter..._maybe_.

_I do not own any Marvel characters, only the ideas and story are mine._

_Story title/chapter titles (c) Five Finger Death Punch (Remember Everything)_


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